Playing at Forever

chapter Eight



Tommy had a hard time sleeping that night, his head spinning. Penny was someone whose opinion he regarded very highly. And if she thought he could pull it off…

Well, that meant something to him.

His hard time sleeping turned into a hard time concentrating and he stumbled through most of his meetings, glad that Graham was there to pick up the slack—something Graham made certain to point out that evening, on the way home. “You weren’t even listening to Garrison back there, were you?”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with our blossoming little flower, would it?” Tommy glared at his manager for a moment. “Just remember that this is all business—for both of you. She’s merely playing the role of your love interest, and in the end, she gets a paycheck just like every other girl in this business. I’m not saying you can’t mix a little business with pleasure—I couldn’t blame you there. But I will say I think it’s a very bad idea.”

“Shut up, Graham,” Tommy turned to look out the window. “I think I want to push my script again.”

“You mean your dark and gloomy piece?”

“It’s not dark and gloomy. Fate is a story about hope, Graham. Did you even read it?” Tommy had thought a lot about it last night and Penny was right. The story wasn’t about the dark place the main character was in—it was about his climb out of it.

“Of course I read it.” Graham sighed, rubbing his neck. “I don’t know, Tom. Let’s give it some time. See how this revamping of your image goes.”

“And I don’t want to do another Gunpoint flick. I sat through that meeting as a favor to you and Mark, but I don’t want to do it.” Gunpoint had been one of his biggest moneymakers, but he couldn’t stand the thought of doing yet another.

“Tom, you know how much money they’re offering you.”

“I don’t care. I’m sick of doing these stupid, plot-less movies. The only reason people go to see them is for the explosions.”

“Does the reason people see a movie really matter that much? Isn’t it just so long as they see it?”

“I know your paycheck rides on mine, Graham, but you should probably be just a little less obvious about it.” Tommy snapped. His patience was short these days, and Graham seemed to know just how to push his buttons the wrong way.

“So how was dinner last night?” Graham asked after a few minutes.

“Dinner was great.” He thought back to the night before. Things had gone just as well last night as they had the night before. Penny was made to shine—he’d always thought so. “You’re not flying back with us, are you?”

“Don’t sound so happy about it.” But Tommy couldn’t help it. Only a few days back in L.A. and he was already ready for another break. He reached up and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons of his shirt, suddenly feeling as if he were suffocating. “You’ll be back in a few weeks for the Mission premier, don’t forget that.”

“I haven’t forgotten.”

“And I’ve lined up some New York spots for you.”

“Thanks.” He was itching to get out of the car.

“Don’t mention it.” Graham’s tone was sarcastic and Tommy wondered for a moment what Graham could possibly have to be angry about. Tommy’s life was the one under constant scrutiny. He was the one who had to get permission before he could even so much as move. Graham was just the one who pulled the strings.

“I’ll see you later.” Tommy practically jumped from the car as the driver pulled into the driveway.

“Have a nice flight.” Again with the sarcasm. Tommy didn’t even turn around, though he wanted to—but he thought better of it, especially with all of the photographers. Anything he might have said to Graham probably wouldn’t bode well for his image.

A very homey scent greeted him as he entered the house, his feet carrying him closer to the kitchen. He smiled as he watched her for a few moments, dancing around the kitchen, assumedly to music only she could hear.

For only a moment—because anything more would have been too much—Tommy imagined that this was his life. That he would come home from a set after a long day and he would find Penny, just like this. His house would smell like a home—even better, it would feel like a home.

He could be so happy, he thought.

“I think this is the first time anybody has ever actually cooked in this kitchen.” His voice brought him back to the present, the images in his head fading as Penny turned around. It was obvious he’d embarrassed her, her cheeks burning red.

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me. You know, you didn’t even have salt and pepper here.”

“I order in a lot.” Tommy shrugged, stepping further into the kitchen and taking a seat at the island.

“Still—salt and pepper?”

“They come in the little packets.” Penny laughed, shaking her head. “So what’s for dinner?”

“Lasagna.” She was totally in her element—dressed in a pair of cotton looking shorts and a plain white tank top, her hair up in some sort of ponytail. It made him happy just seeing her happy.

“Anything I can do?”

“Nope, it’s actually just about done.” She set a wineglass in front of him and poured him a glass. “It’s no top shelf Merlot, but it’s not bad.” He took a sip, nodding his head.

“Did you go shopping?” It was an obvious question, but one he asked simply for the sake of keeping her going. Her happiness was infectious.

“Just picked up a few things. Thought I’d take advantage of this big ol’ kitchen nobody ever uses.” She turned around to check the time. “Why don’t you go change into something a little more comfortable?”

“Are you suggesting something?” He couldn’t help himself. Every once and awhile, he had to make some sort of a comment just to get a rise out of her. Her response was typical—she hit him on the shoulder before shooing him away.

It wasn’t until he was upstairs, changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt that he remembered something Penny had said back in Ravenside. The sun was mostly done setting, the sky kind of glowing. Penny had made a very simple request—he could at least make sure she got that one thing.

By the time he returned to the kitchen, Penny had already cut him a large piece of lasagna and set it on a plate beside his wine glass. She watched him as he sat down, waiting for him to take his first bite.

For good reason—her lasagna was pretty amazing.

“So? Do you like it?”

“I would have to say that this lasagna is among the best I’ve eaten. And I’ve been around the block a few times when it comes to lasagna.” Penny giggled, satisfied with herself. They ate mostly in silence—but the comfortable kind of silence that came with knowing someone well enough that they didn’t even have to talk to know what they were thinking.

“I’m stuffed,” she confessed finally, sitting back in her chair. “I can’t even eat another bite.”

“I’m surprised you ate that much.”

“I didn’t eat anything all day, so I was pretty hungry. Now, however…I’m regretting it.” Tommy laughed, standing up and taking her plate. “I can get that—”

“You made dinner; I’ll get the clean-up. You go ahead and sit back.”

“Well, how was your day then?” She asked, resting her elbow on the island so that she could look at him.

“You know, business as usual.”

“Talk to anybody about your script?” He had been waiting for that.

“I mentioned it to Graham again. He thinks we should wait.”

“Well, I think Graham is an idiot.” Penny shrugged her shoulders. “But that’s just me.”

“He means well. He just…his priorities aren’t always in the right order.” Tommy had known Graham for a long time. He’d always been a pretty good guy—it was just a matter of seeing through the façade. Once upon a time, he’d been just like Tommy—and where Tommy had found fame, Graham had found fortune, which was all he’d really wanted in the end.

“Well, regardless of what Graham thinks—I just want to make sure you pursue it, Tommy. It’s a good story. It deserves to be told. And I think you’re the perfect person to tell it.”

He wished he could tell her how much it meant that she had so much faith in him.

It had always been his driving force, even if she hadn’t known it.

Of course, he couldn’t tell her either of these, though. He already felt as if he’d told her too much. As angry as he’d been with Graham earlier, he knew his manager was right. This was, in the end, just business. No matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, this was all just a means to an end.

And for the very same reasons he had let Penny go before, he would have to do it again. Any thought to the contrary, he was just fooling himself.

But not yet, he told himself. No, not yet. There was still time left.

“Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll make sure I keep it in mind.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I know you are, Pen. So am I.”

“Good,” she sighed quietly, turning to look around the room. Tommy finished the dishes and turned to find her looking at him. “I remember when we used to sit in my parents kitchen, just like this. Who would’ve thought how different things would be ten years down the line.”

“You look like you’re about to fall asleep.” He told her, finishing the last of the dishes and setting them aside.

“I am not,” she perked up immediately, but her eyes still looked heavy.

“Yes you are.” She gave him a dirty look and Tommy just laughed, shaking his head at her. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

“What do you want to show me?” Her tone was very suspicious. “Because I remember when Chris Jenkins fed me that line in third grade—and it was not at all what I wanted to see.”

“Well, I think you’ll like this.” He laughed as he made his way toward the door at the back of the kitchen, which led outside.

The ocean was literally Tommy’s backyard. He had chosen this property for a couple of reasons—first, because of the privacy it afforded him. Second, because he had wanted something with his own private beach. It had cost him a pretty penny more than he had wanted to spend, but he’d gone for it.

But after he moved in, Tommy hardly ever spent any time out here—even when he was home. There was just something comforting about having the ocean nearby. To know that, if the urge ever struck, he could just take off into the abyss and leave it all behind.

He’d done that a lot throughout his life, mostly at his father’s behest.

Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Tommy thought to himself.

Beside him, Penny gasped. “Why didn’t you show me this sooner?” It was a good question—one to which he didn’t have an answer. “Tommy, this is beautiful. Is it all yours?”

“Enough of it is.” His neighbors lived quite a ways down the beach.

“Listen to you, all confident and rich. ‘I own my own beach.’ I bet the ladies fall for this every time.”

“Oh, you better believe it.” Except that Tommy had never brought another woman out here before.

“You’re such a little man-whore, Thomson Davis.”

“I am no such thing,” he feigned innocence, his eyes wide.

“You most certainly are. I’ve seen the tabloids.”

“Well, then I guess I’m to believe that you’re carrying my love child.” Penny laughed, throwing her head back. On the flight in, they had noticed one of the tabloids claiming that Penny was pregnant with Tommy’s child and she was officially declared to be under “bump watch”.

“That’s right—it’s twins. Surprise!”

“That’s it.” Before Penny could react, Tommy had stepped forward and swept her off her feet, tossing her over his shoulder. She screamed, swatting at him and ordering him to put her down. “Your wish is my command.”

She hit the water with a splash, her expression absolutely priceless. “You did not just do that.”

“I’m pretty sure I did.” She was on her feet much faster than he expected, jumping onto his back and trying to pull him into the water. It wasn’t really all that necessary—he was pretty well soaked already from carrying her as far as he had. But Penny was bound and determined to get him into the water, and so eventually, she did.

By that time, they were pretty far out, Tommy only going further. The water was much warmer than he’d expected and once again he asked himself why he didn’t do this more often. “Oh!” She squealed as her head dipped under the water and Tommy reached out, pulling her closer to him as she coughed.

“You okay?” She nodded, still trying to clear her throat.

“Apparently I can’t reach the bottom anymore.” Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, her legs around his midsection.

“We can go back,”

“I’m okay with this arrangement if you are.”

Tommy was certain that Penny could tell just how okay he was with the situation, but he didn’t say anything. “It’s so quiet out here,”

“You don’t have to whisper, Pen. Nobody’s going to hear you.”

“Be quiet.” She loosened her grip on his neck, laying back a little bit. Tommy tried very hard not to notice the way her body shifted against his. “And the water is so warm.” She sat back up, pressing herself close to him once more. “Are you sure this isn’t a fairytale, Tommy? We’re not going to wake up tomorrow and find out we’ve been dreaming all along, are we?”

“I certainly hope not.” Her face was so close to his—it would be so easy…

“Let’s stay like this forever.”

“As much as I would love to make that happen for you, I think we have to go back in eventually.” This couldn’t be easy for her, either. He could see the way she seemed to avoid his eyes, as if afraid of what might happen if she found them.

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I had left with you?”

“I wonder about a lot of things, Pen.”

“Do you think we would have ended up together?”

“Would you have wanted us to?” His response seemed to throw her off guard, her eyes finally meeting his.

“Honestly?” Penny asked. He nodded his head, feeling her heart beating just as fast as his own was. “At the time, I didn’t think so. But after you left…” She sighed, looking up at the night sky. “I didn’t think you could miss a person that much.” He could hear the tears in her voice.

“I didn’t either,” Tommy agreed, reaching up and brushing his thumb along her cheek.

“You didn’t answer my question.” He was hoping she hadn’t noticed that.

“You didn’t answer mine either.” Tommy reminded her. She lifted her head, meeting his eyes with a certain determination.

“You first.” He hesitated for a long moment, wondering what he should say, trying to decide how to respond.

“After you kissed me, I thought we might.” He confessed.

“After I kissed you, I thought we should.” Penny replied breathlessly.

He didn’t know who initiated the kiss, but all he cared about was that it didn’t end. He carried them back toward the coast, his hands holding her as close to him as he could possibly manage. His body longed for the shore, aching to lie beside her.

She was just as eager, he realized, as she pulled him in, her lips claiming his hungrily. His hands roamed over the soaked material of her clothes, wanting to remove even the thinnest barrier between them.

It wasn’t until a loud clap of thunder sounded in the distance that she stopped him, pulling away breathlessly. “Wait,” she pressed her hand to his chest. “We can’t—”

Tommy groaned in frustration, rolling over and laying next to her. “You’re killing me, here, Pen.”

“You told me you wouldn’t do that again.”

“I told you I’d try. Besides, I think it was you who started that one.” He stared up at the sky, his body tense.

“Well it doesn’t matter.” Tommy couldn’t help it—he laughed, shaking his head. “You know it’s a bad idea just as well as I do.”

“Do I?” Of course he did, logically. But his body, on the other hand…that seemed to have a mind of it’s own. A mind that wanted nothing more than to roll over and continue what had started just minutes ago.

“Business, Tommy Davidson. Just keep reminding yourself that.”

“I’m really beginning to hate business.” He turned his head to look at her, trying not to notice that he could see right through her thin white tank top.

“It’ll come to an end eventually.” Her voice sounded far away, tinged with sadness. “And once it does, we’ll both go back to our own lives, won’t we?” He wished he could tell her it wasn’t true, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Because he didn’t really believe them, and the last thing he wanted to do was lie to her.

So instead, he said nothing at all.

“Hey Tommy, whatever happened to your dad?” Suddenly Tommy wished very badly that he had said something. This was definitely not a topic he was willing to discuss.

“I don’t know. Last I heard, he was somewhere in Florida. He retired, I think.”

“You think?” Tommy shrugged.

“We haven’t spoken much. He wasn’t too thrilled that I took off. You know how he was—I was supposed to be a Military man, just like he was.”

“You haven’t even called him?” Tommy shook his head.

“I send him a Christmas card every year. That’s about it.”

“You should try talking to him. It’s been a long time. Maybe he’s changed.” Tommy laughed—not genuine laughter, but empty. He doubted it. The Colonel was always going to be a hard-ass, up until the day he died. And he was always going to be disappointed in Tommy, no matter what he did.

“You never know. People change.”

“You haven’t.”

“In some ways, I have. You have.”

“I haven’t.”

“Oh, I beg to differ. The Tommy Davidson I remember would have already broken Kevin’s nose by now—probably twice.” This time, Tommy laughed for real. She had a point there—but that was a change that had only occurred within the last few weeks.

Penny laughed too, their echoes fading into the night sky. “You cold?”

“I’m okay,” she whispered. He wondered what was going through her head—not even sure what was going through his own. “You don’t have to stay out here with me. I mean, if you’re—”

“I can handle it.” He turned to look at her once more. “Besides, we have an item to cross off that to-do list of yours.” Penny lifted herself onto her elbow, smiling at him.

“You remembered,”

“Of course I did.” He patted the empty space between them. “Whenever you start to get sleepy, you go ahead and rest your head right here. It can get chilly at night.”

“Are you going to stay up all night?”

“Somebody’s got to be awake when that sunrise starts.”

“I’m going to stay up with you then.” He knew the moment she said the words that she would soon be asleep, though. He could hear it in her voice. “Someday you’re going to make some girl very happy,” she whispered, suddenly rolling over and tucking herself as closely as she could to him.

“You think so?” Penny nodded and Tommy felt a familiar ache spread through his chest. Deep down, he knew why—it wasn’t just some girl he wanted to make happy. He’d known who she was for a long time now. “I hope so.”

“I know so.” He wrapped his arm around her, running his hand up and down her arm. “Let’s pretend this is real, okay?” She whispered sleepily. “Let’s pretend we’re not pretending. Pretend that you’re just a boy, and I’m just a girl, and we don’t have a care in world.”

“I can do that.” It was probably the one thing he wanted most in that moment.

She was sound asleep several minutes later, her breath warm on his chest. Lightening flashed far in the distance and he watched, his heart heavy.

As he lay there, he tried to convince himself that it was just hormones. There was nothing more there than simple desire. She was a beautiful girl, there was no denying that. It was only natural male instinct.

But he knew it was all just a lie. Deep down, he had fallen for her.

Whether he admitted it or not…that was a different story.

For hours, he lay there, watching her sleep, content just to be there.

When the sky began to lighten, he whispered her name, waking her as gently as he could. “Penny, it’s starting.”

“Hm?” She stirred slowly at first and then, suddenly, she became much more aware. “You should have woken me up!” She scolded. “I didn’t want you to have to stay up alone.”

“I wasn’t alone.” He nodded toward the ocean. “Look, it’s still lightning, too.”

She remained quiet for several long moments, her eyes trained on the sky before them. “In case I forget to tell you this somewhere down the line, I just want to make sure I tell you now.”

“What’s that?”

Her eyes found his easily, her expression more heartfelt than he’d ever seen. “Thank you.”