Playing to Win

“I was out a lot at meetings. They’re assigning me a new client.”


“And you were avoiding me.”

That, too. “Come in.”

She shut the door behind him. He stood just inside, didn’t go into the living room, as if waiting for an invitation.

Well, this was awkward and uncomfortable.

“Have a seat, Cole.”

“Only if you sit with me.”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, I just want to talk to you.”

“All right.” She sat on the sofa, and he came over and sat next to her.

She swallowed, her throat dry. There were so many thoughts whirling through her mind, so many things she wanted to say, but they were jumbled up in her head. She should have written them down, made an outline so she could go through them step by step.

He took her hand. “I was a jerk.”

She lifted her head. “What?”

“Let me back up. When you first met me, I was a jerk. You changed me. You made me think differently, to learn to pause before I blurted out the first thing that came into my head, which was usually something that was all about me and how I felt and what I wanted. I learned from that, you know?”

She smiled at him. “Yes, I know. I’ve seen evidence of that over the past few months. You’ve done a wonderful job.”

“Thanks. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, other than to thank you for being patient with me when I know I wasn’t easy to be around.”

“You weren’t as difficult as you’d like to think you were.”

“I took those lessons to heart. And along the way, I got used to having you in my life. You were the backbone of the person I became, the person I always wanted to be. And I guess I became complacent, always assuming you’d just be there, that you’d want to be with me.”

She did want to be with him. But this was his moment to talk, so she’d let him finish.

“What I said to you that night I asked you to move in with me—it was thoughtless. I wasn’t prepared to tell you how I really felt about you, and it came out all wrong. I knew I wanted you with me, but I choked.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know. You’ve worked with me on being clear in what I say, so the media doesn’t misinterpret me. And when it came down to the most important conversation I’ve ever had, I fucked it all up.” He rubbed his finger over her thumb, distracting her. The sensation sent shivers up her arm. She fought hard to concentrate on what he was saying, but all she could think about was how much she’d missed his touch, being near him, and how much it hurt to be apart, to have this distance between them. And she needed him to know that.

“I love you, Savannah.”

That got her attention. Her gaze shot to his. “You do?”

“Yeah. Do you think I’d ask someone I wasn’t in love with to move in with me?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t know how you felt about me. You said you liked me, that we were compatible.”

He rubbed his temple. “Yeah, that. Like I said, I was being an asshole. I was scared. I’ve never told a woman I loved her before. And when it came time to say it, I dropped the ball. I’m sorry.”

She scooted closer to him and swept her hand across his jaw. “It’s okay. I didn’t handle it any better than you. I doubted how you felt about me and I got scared, too. So instead of telling you how I felt, I kicked you out. Instead of opening a dialogue between us, I ran and hid from you.”

He took her hand in his. “I’m in love with you. I don’t take those words lightly, Peaches. And with love comes commitment. I’ll always be here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m never going to leave you.”

The words sunk in. Her heart blossomed with such an outpouring of emotion she thought she might burst with it. And she realized he needed to hear it from her, too. “I love you, too, Cole. I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m ashamed to admit I was too afraid to tell you, because I didn’t know how you felt about me.”

His lips lifted. “Well, now you know. Can I say I’m damn happy to hear you say it? I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way, that I was going to tell you I loved you and you were going to pat me on the shoulder and say ‘that’s nice’ and that we’d always be friends.”

She laughed, then climbed on his lap. “I was hoping you knew how I felt.”

“I was hoping you knew how I felt.” Now it was his turn to laugh. “Christ, we’re such a mess. I think we need to work on our communication skills.”

“I think you’re right.”

“You’ve always been a good teacher. I’ll trust you to help me work on mine. I promise to tell you I love you every day.”

“And I’ll try harder to always tell you what I’m feeling. I admit I’m pretty good at telling others how to live their lives, but not so good at dealing with my own. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, so I’m going to need your help.”

“I’ll always be here to help you.”

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