I throw my hands in the air and lay back into the bed. Michelle sinks to the floor as her back rests against the purple painted wall. Neither of us dare say a word as we try to come to terms with our anger and our feelings. We have managed to both say our piece. But neither of us knew if we could really express what needed to be said.
A few minutes pass as Michelle continues to look down at her hands twisting in knots. She breaks the silence, “Cal, I know you’re a good father. I’ve seen how much you love her and she loves you. Not a day went by when she didn’t talk about you. She needs you, but she also needs a life where she isn’t afraid to go home.”
I look up towards the ceiling as I turn over Michelle’s words in my head. She’s being sincere and, furthermore, she’s right. I’ve been so blinded by my own wants and desires I failed to see the damage I was doing to my own daughter. A ball of guilt wads up in my throat as I try to choke it down. I mutter, “I know, Michelle. I know.”
“I want to give her everything she needs, but I want to do that with you. I don’t want to be Maddie’s sole guardian, and I certainly don’t want to see her go through the pain of losing you again after all that has happened.”
“You want to do this with me?” I look at her hopefully.
She pounds her head back into the wall as she realizes what she has said. It’s a confession I didn’t expect, though I could feel. She closes her eyes and smiles as she blinks and looks back at me, “Yeah, Cal. I want to do this with you.” She holds her hands out defensively, as if she was preparing for me to attack. “I know, I know that is not the kind of thing that you do – serious, um, things. But I care about you. I may even…”
Something in me falls apart and puts itself back together. I know what she is about to say, and I find my heart leaping and turning as she pauses. I whisper as I finish for her, “love you?”
I stand up and walk towards her, giving her my hand. She stands up next to me as she says softly, “Yeah. I just might.”
“What if I said that I might, too?”
“Love me?” she asks, her head moving towards mine. I feel her breath hitch as she waits for my answer.
“Love you,” I reply as I take her around her neck and pull her in for a sweet embrace. Her hands grip around my back as I run my fingers through her still wet hair.
She pulls away as she says excitedly, “I’m so sorry, Cal.” I kiss her again wanting her to know that there is nothing to be sorry about. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to do what was right.”
I pull away slightly as I say, “I know, Michelle. I know. But we’re going to work this out. We’re going to figure it out. You and me, together.”
Chapter 36: The Ever Afters
CAL
A hand slides his hands down my waist underneath my apron. I jump, turning around with my knife pointed at the body behind me. My hands shake as I try to figure out a way to get out his strong grasp.
The man laughs and I toss the knife down onto the ground.
“What the hell?” I cry out. “What are you doing here, Cal? You scared the crap out of me! You know better!”
“Ha! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you like that. The meeting at the clubhouse got done early, so I figured I’d just come right over.” He pulls my waist into his, his hands still playing with the underside of my black and flour-covered apron. He dips his head down towards my neck, inhaling deeply, “Mmmm… you smell delicious.”
I wrap my arms around his neck as I forget why I’m mad at him, “I probably smell like pesto and basil. I’ve been snacking while I cook.”
“Really?” His dark, messy eyebrows raise up at me curiously, “Can I have a taste?”
I reach behind me, grabbing the ladle I was using to stir the pot of homemade sauce. I lift it to his lips, but he closes them tightly. Instead, he grabs the spoon handle from me and presses it to my mouth. I take in the hot, sweet sauce slowly, letting it sit in my mouth as I taste all the flavors. Cal pulls me in closer and kisses me sweetly, flicking his tongue inside of my lips.
“How does it taste?” I ask as I come up for air, “Does it need more salt? I just can—”
“Shhh.” He places a finger to my red painted lips as he hoists me up quickly onto the cold marble kitchen countertop. His hands slip under my dress and hook around the black lace panties I put on just for him. With one strong pull, he slips them off my hips and down my legs past the black lace top stockings and garter belt. He feels and the material flush against my legs admiringly, “You wore them.”
I tease him as I hitch my legs across his hips, pushing the forming bulge into my exposed *. “They were a gift from someone who really, really wanted me to wear them, so how could I not?” I hike up my tight fitting black dress up higher so he can see the entire lace and black ensemble in full view. “Do you approve, Cal?”
His hands trace over the material, examining it with a keen eye. He snaps at the garter belt and ruffles the dainty frills. His voice darkens as he nods, “This is perfect.”