Before I can step in and tell him to wait, Red Dog is already typing away furiously on his phone. He grabs his jacket and wallet and walks out towards his motorcycle. Both Ace and I sit there motionlessly as we watch him go. I turn to Ace and ask sincerely, “You think they’ll find anything?”
“I think he knows what he’s doing. Red Dog’s always been good at this recovery stuff. If anyone’s gonna find her, it’s going to be him.”
I don’t wait around to find out. I stumble up towards my bedroom on the second floor, each step a slow and painful movement. As I make it to the top, I eye Maddie’s room. It’s been untouched since those assholes at Child Protective Services took her away. I slowly shut it, not wanting to be reminded of the pain once more.
My bed is empty, the bedding thrown to the ground. I pick it up and pull the sheets over my head as I melt into the old mattress. I shut my eyes as I do something I haven’t done in years – I pray. Just let me have them back. Both of them. I can’t have a life without either Maddie or Michelle. If it means sacrificing myself, so be it. I’m ready to meet my maker and pay for all the shit and pain I’ve caused. If it means saving them, I’ll gladly give myself in their places. Please, God. Please.
Darkness overtakes me as I find myself far away from prayer. But I’m not alone. Michelle’s there beside me. She lies next to me in my bed, holding my hand lightly. Her mouth is moving, the corners of her lips upturned as she points up towards the empty, dark sky. She is laughing. Whatever she is telling me is funny, if that’s even possible. And I find myself smiling right back at her, the stars in my own eyes dancing with hers to the rhythm of her voice.
She reaches over to smooth out a piece of my hair and I grab her hand in place. The softness of her palm is warm up against my rough, prickly skin. Her thumb traces against my jaw and to my lips where I plant a small kiss on the pad of her finger. She lingers a moment, hesitating slightly, before scooting herself closer to me for a long, deep kiss. Our tongues meet, twisting around the other. Our heads and lips turn as we wrestle with one another’s passions, neither one letting go.
I place my hand around her waist, pulling her body closer to me. She’s wrapped up in this long, thin white dress. The fabric allows me to feel the curves of her body, the line of her panties. As I lower my head towards her neck, my hands pull up the hem of her dress, scrunching the material in my hand. She gasps as she cocks her head back, my name seeps out of her mouth in an exhausted, but thrilled breath, “Cal, Cal, Cal.”
I hitch the dress up over her chest and then head, her hair flying free from the movement. I straddle above her as she covers herself demurely, the hair just touching the tips of her nipples and her hands over her sex. From this angle, I can finally see her, the peachy fresh skin, the freckles that dot her legs and arms, the lines of her body that heave and ho with each deep, desiring inhale and exhale.
I kiss the top of her head at the crown where her hair frizzes just slightly and then move to the spot between her lovely eyes, the tip of her nose, the heart shape of her top lip, and the slight dimple in her chin. I follow the line down her long, graceful neck and throat to the space between her breasts and the dip of her belly button.
I stop as I find the scent of her at the top of her pubic bone. It’s as strong and as a real as ever. It smells so much of summer and what I imagine heaven to be like. Nothing has ever smelled so ripe and fresh to me as her *. I spread her legs apart underneath me and land a kiss on the opening of her folds. She coos as I go for more, this time not missing an inch of her skin. My tongue dashes out, slipping through the slit, getting a hint of that smell on my taste buds. It’s as good as it smells.
My fingers pull her gentle skin farther apart, giving me a wide look at the inside of her universe. My thumb presses down on the top, finding her beady clit and massaging at the sensitive tip around it. Her hips rise to meet my mouth as I continue to kiss and suck at her. I watch as one hand wraps around the sheet while the other finds my head and guides it deeper into her flesh. I dive in with a fury, not wanting to relent.
I feel her body shake from under my lips as she gives in. Her hips thrust upwards once more before her entire body comes crashing down. I hold on, tasting her sweet, juicy orgasm in my mouth. It’s a treat well worth the effort.
It’s my turn now as I get back to my knees, pulling her closer to me by her hips. But something has changed. I can feel it. The room, which was once lit by an almost heavenly sunlight, has transformed into something darker, more sinister. I look at the sheet tangled around my hips that has turned into a blood red. Everything feels as if it is spinning, crashing, flying. I can’t orient myself anymore.