When I don’t respond she sits next to me and slowly says, “I know you don’t want to mess with the gang and that you don’t want to see Maddie get taken from Cal, but this is for the best. Just call tomorrow and ask if there’s been any other reports made. It’s just a first step. It doesn’t have to go any further than that. But it will get the ball rolling in the right direction.”
I reach over, grab my bag, and take out a pen and paper. I scribble down the number for Child Protective Services and fold it neatly into a square. I’m not going to call tonight; there’s been enough drama for me to handle at this point. Each one of us – Maddie, Erin, Cal, and I – needs a break and some time off to cool down.
But as I shut my eyes and drift off, all I dream about is fire and a flame that cannot be put out.
Chapter 18: The Storm
CAL
By the time I get back upstairs, Maddie’s face-down in her books, fast asleep. Her little body is hunched over her white wooden desk and a white notecard is still clasped in her hand. As I pick her up and place her into bed, she mutters something that sounds an awful lot like, “Benedict Arnold.”
I sit with her for a while, stroking her hair back to her side. Like all fathers, I’m amazed at how much she has grown in what feels like a short amount of time. Every day that passes by, she looks more and more like her mother. Her nose is mine. Her mouth is mine. But those wide hazel eyes and those high cheekbones are all from April.
April was the exact kind of woman for me. She, like me, had been raised a Mustang. It was in her blood. Her daddy had taught her to ride as soon as she could reach the handlebars. And as dumbass teens, we stole bikes belonging to club members and rode off onto the highway.
But, unlike me, she wanted to get away. Her mom had left earlier, had broken from the pack after the divorce. However, I pushed her to stay. I don’t know what life is like outside of a clubhouse full of men. I didn’t even get through high school. All I know is riding and back alley business. And when I wouldn’t go with her and make a new life, April became the version of me I hated.
She was dark, one of the most ruthless girls. She took other lovers, even with me rising in the ranks. She insisted on going on routes with the boys, even after Maddie was born. And, after a year or two, she tried to push Jager to initiate her in as a full rider. The day she was killed, the guys finally agreed to make an exception to the rules for her. We buried her with her 1% patch.
Every day I think about Maddie and if her being here in this place is going to snuff out that good I saw in April before she went head-on into club affairs. Maddie has seen and experienced so much, but I had to go through that stuff, too. So did her mother. But why does it feel like this life is not enough for her?
I tuck her blanket up to her neck and give a quick kiss to her forehead. I whisper my goodnights to her as I close the door and head back downstairs. There is still club business to attend to, and I’m running late again.
The meetings already started when I head downstairs. I hear Jager’s voice over the stillness of the room, “What happened a few weeks ago was just the beginning of our revenge, boys. Those little pansies got their asses handed to them thanks to club members like Cal and Ace and Red Dog, too. But now, it’s time to rise up and talk about phase two.”
Ryan stands up slowly and claps, interrupting Jager. All eyes turn towards him, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip in towards the back of the room behind where the rest of the leadership is sitting. “That’s right, boys. We have to get our revenge.” The sarcasm and mockery are oozing off of him.
I look up at Jager to see him practically steaming. The rest of the group looks around nervously, unsure of what to do.
“All this shit is petty crap. Cal didn’t even have the balls to kill those guys at the auto repair shop, and he let that asshole get away, too! Why are we rewarding them for being little girls about this shit? We should be taking them down, chopping off heads! Some of us are tired of going up against Addison Bell and Mountain every few months. We shouldn’t stop until they’re all dead!”
Jager jumps down off of the makeshift platform and walks straight towards Ryan. He grabs him by the neck, choking off his air supply. With one arm, he lifts his body off the ground as Ryan struggles to pry Jager’s fingers off of him. Jager stares his red, bulging eyes down as he asks, “Is this what you want, you prick? You want death, I’ll be happy to hand it to you.” With a thud, Jager drops his body to the ground and then spins to address the rest of the room, “I will not have anyone, and I mean anyone, question my plans. Cal has his orders. He’s working on tracking down Addison Bell. The rest of you are to keep your positions in guarding our territories. Do you get me?”
A rise of “ayes” come up over the crowd. It’s tentative, frightened. They are all still staring at Ryan who is on his hands in knees coughing horrifically.