“Look, Miss Springer. All I’m saying is those whores in the living room are good for one thing and one thing only…if you know what I mean.”
“Maddie, do you know what you mean?” I’m absolutely disgusted, but I know I’ve got to hide it. This here is nature versus nurture, and I’m coming up against an entire culture shock. But, boy, is it shocking.
“Sex. It’s like the girls my dad brings home. I never see them again unless they’re some club skank who gets around. There’s been a couple of them. One of them had breakfast with me once. That was nice. But he usually uses them and then kicks them to the curb before I go to school.”
Maddie returns her focus to her textbook, using one of my highlighters to circle a passage. But I’m too shocked to move. I had a suspicion. Well, more than a suspicion. I could have guessed at all this if I was being honest with myself. I knew I wasn’t Cal’s only girl. The way he bedded me was all the proof I needed that he wasn’t going home alone most nights. But the fact that Maddie knew was something entirely beyond me.
A few minutes tick away as I fall into a deep, dark hole of thoughts. What else does Maddie know? What has she seen? How could this be normal for her when the rest of her friends at school are going home to moms and dads who put dinner on the table and talk about their jobs in offices and cubicles?
More to the point, what exactly am I supposed to do about this? There are just so many things that both Maddie and Cal have said to me that have crossed the line – hell, they’ve crossed multiple lines, every line imaginable. They were so far into that gray area that I spent most nights after my tutoring sessions contemplating if what Maddie said put me in legal risk if I didn’t report Cal to child protective services. Does sleeping around with strange women count? How about sleeping with me?
My stomach is tied up in knots as I try to work this out. Luckily, Maddie has hit the five-minute mark of no cursing. I pull out a stick of gum from the inside of my purse and toss it to her. She dances in her chair as she chows down. I ask her quietly, “Are you hungry, Maddie?”
She answers so nonchalantly, as if I should be able to read the situation more clearly, “Yeah, duh. I don’t get to eat until my dad comes home, and who knows when that’s going to be!”
I look up at the clock. It’s nearly 7pm. Some students in my class would have been getting ready to go to bed at this point, not be waiting for dad to throw a frozen dinner on the table. I stand up and head towards the refrigerator. Inside are stacks and stacks of cans. It’s an endless supply of beer and liquor.
“Where’s the food, Maddie?”
“Dad brings home dinner most nights. It’s Friday, so he usually stops at this chicken place, Mr. Clucky’s. It’s good, but I always get a stomachache afterwards…”
I interrupt her, “Does he ever cook for you? Like, does he make you anything homemade?”
“Besides putting a frozen waffle in the toaster sometimes, no? But why would he? He gets the food for free. It’s all people on his routes.”
“Maddie, I really want to understand it here. What are routes and what is your dad doing tonight? Can you explain to me like I have no idea what your dad does?”
She sighs heavily and shuts her book. I sit next to her again and listen as she lowers her voice, “Miss Springer, my dad is on a run. It’s when he goes and checks on the people that work for the club. He makes sure they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Like a boss!”
“Like a boss? But what are they supposed to be doing, and what do you mean by they work for the club?”
“They sell stuff for the club. Jager, the president, he gets his crew and my dad to go out on routes. My dad’s route is at that repair shop today. He goes with the other club members and collects money from the blow sales.”
Woah. Maddie just gave me way too much information. I don’t want to go any further, but I feel like I’m obligated to. As a teacher, as an adult, I have to know what she knows. I lower my voice to a whisper, as I ask her. “Blow? What’s blow, Maddie?”
“It’s that stuff those girls stick up their noses before they go and have sex with the guys. My dad doesn’t do it, and he won’t let me go near it. But everyone else does it. He says it makes them go crazy, and it’s only for stupid people without a brain.” Maddie looks back down at her hands nervously. She can tell that this isn’t a topic she’s supposed to be discussing with anyone but her father.