chapter forty-five, Friday:15thnovember2013 – will I ever learn? Probably not.
“Pete, it’s me,” I tell her knowing full well my name and a photo of me jumping a f*cking massive ditch on George at Badminton lights up her phone screen as a clue. “My head hurts.”
“Hardly surprising kid, you drank quite a lot last night,” I hear her cup the phone and tell someone she’ll call them later, “where’s Daniel?”
“He’s here.” I look over the duvet covered mound with a cat perched on the summit, which is Daniel.
“He kicked arse last night Tharie, he took on that guy and all his rugby mates,” I recall the clear and focused look on his face, with a little pinch of anger too.
“I don’t really remember,” I lie a little.
“Tharie, he suddenly appeared like a knight in shining winkle pickers, swooped you to safety, took care of the boys and led you away, all very hot, he is quite a guy that Daniel.”
Tell me something I don't know.
“And here's something you won't know, he asked me to call him if you ever needed him, but were too pissed to know it.” Bloody hell again. “Quite a guy.”
“Tell me.” I laugh. I like the idea that the moment I needed saving he was there.
Turning around to face Daniel, I dislodge my cat, but cats are tenacious and he just crawls back onto me and flattens himself down purring, you need time he seems to say, fine, I’ll just sleep.
“You saved me, again.” I like it.
“Seems it’s my job to.” He smiles, and that smile shoots a hot liquid intravenously through my veins, reaching my heart and pumping it faster.
“Daniel, I’m not yours to save.” I close my eyes, the pain of the last few days can’t just be forgotten like that, “I though that’s what you wanted?”
“You are mine baby,” he brushes soft strands of unruly hair from my face, “you always will be.” He reaches over and kisses me, and that’s it, I’m lost in him once again, and I know he is right. We might falter, but we’ll always return back to this, being together, we’re both learning what it means to have someone who loves us. (Apart from our Mum's of course, but that's very, very different).
I join in kissing him, gentle and passionate, like we’re getting to know each other for the first time.
“You have a dark bruise blooming on your jaw.” I sigh knowing it’s my fault.
“Worth it, I got what I went for.” Smiling, “you.”
“I think I like having a tall dark handsome hero looking after me.” Who wouldn’t?
“That’s a relief, because you’re a lot to look after.” I pout at the accusation, and determine he is actually speaking the truth and rather than admit it, I kiss him again, hard, that shuts him up.
As he leaves, I get a ping on my work phone, an incoming email, a photo of Daniel and Jess. And suddenly all my happiness dissolves around me leaving me alone, once again. Perhaps this is what I'll always be?
Note to self, grow a lot stronger.
Then I put the kettle on.