He turned from her arms and left the kitchen, not even waiting for her. As he walked through their home, he wanted to take notice of all she had done. Kacey—well, Lacey and Regina—had really turned their house into a home. While there weren’t as many pictures of her and Jordie as he’d like, they were working on it. Even planned to go do a little couples’ shoot with Harper Titov, Elli’s best friend, who did everyone’s pictures. But a part of him wondered if he should even care about that.
Would she even want him when she realized how weak he was?
Going into their bedroom, he heard her moving around in the kitchen, probably cleaning up and getting Gretzky taken care of as he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the chair that she said was her thinking chair. He hadn’t seen her sit in it yet, and it held more clothes than it ever had her butt for thinking, but who was he to say anything? Maybe he should have sat in the thinking chair and really rethought going to see his mother. Disgusted with himself, he threw off his slacks, tossing those too on the thinking chair as she entered the room, looking so damn worried that it killed him.
She didn’t need this stress. She was carrying their child, and he needed to get his shit together before he lost both of them because of his stupidity. Pulling the sheets back, he went to get in before she stopped him.
“Can you unzip me?” she asked, and when he looked over at her, he noticed her little sex-kitten look. He knew what she was doing, and any other time, he would have stripped her down and plowed into her, but not tonight. Without answering her, he stepped behind her, moving her hair before unzipping her dress and then climbing into the bed. He felt her gaze on him, but he ignored it, cuddling deeper into the bed as she moved around the room, doing her thing.
When she finally climbed into bed, she hit the light and then turned to face him, the moonlight shining on her beautiful face. As he looked deep into her dark eyes, he knew he wasn’t being the best man he could be for her. She was freaking out, working her lip, and he could feel the tension, the worry, rolling off her in waves. He had promised to do right by her, not only to Karson but to Karl too. Plus, he loved this girl. He didn’t want her to worry.
Reaching out, he cupped her face and whispered, “I’m sorry, Kacey.”
Her eyes widened as she shrugged. “What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault she’s a cunt. You should have let me kick her.”
He wanted to smile, he did, but instead, he ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “I let you down, and I apologize for that.”
Her brow rose. “So you drank?
He shook his head, confused. “No—”
“Then you didn’t let me down,” she said quickly, her eyes holding his. “If anything, Jordie, I’m proud of you. You stood up for yourself, you told her about herself, and you did it with grace. You didn’t lose your temper, you didn’t really cuss her out or even allow me to hit her. You were amazing and I’m so proud of you. And damn it, Jordie, I love you,” she reiterated, her eyes getting misty. His heart sped up in his chest. “In my eyes, you are strong, beautiful, and everything I want in a man. So don’t apologize. Please, don’t.”
He wanted to take her words and run, but he worried she’d said them just to make him feel better. But as soon as that thought came, he knew she wouldn’t do that. Kacey wasn’t a sugarcoating kind of girl. If she didn’t want to be honest, she just didn’t say anything. He knew this, so why didn’t he feel better?
Swallowing hard around the lump in his throat, he whispered, “I shouldn’t have gone.”
“You’re right. But do you feel better, knowing you let her have it and she won’t even be able to hurt you again?”
He did feel better on that aspect, but he was still embarrassed for how weak he felt, for allowing her to hurt him one more time. In the future, it wouldn’t happen. When he’d walked away from her tonight, he was done. The things she said, the pure hatred in her eyes, reminded him that this was not what he wanted in his life. This woman couldn’t continually put him down; she didn’t own him. He had to let her go, and to his surprise, knowing that he would never have to deal with her again was a relief.