“Love you more,” she said, and she waved before the screen went black and she was gone. Something really did seem off, but he wasn’t sure what it was. It was hard to push for info when they were so far apart. He was ready to get home, but he still had five days before he would be able to.
“You’re lucky to have her,” Benji said from his bed, pausing the TV.
“I know,” Jordie agreed.
“And she obviously loves you,” he said slowly and Jordie nodded.
“Yeah, she does, as do I.”
“Then don’t let your mom fuck it up,” he said sternly. “Let her go because she will ruin you, dude.”
“It’s harder than it sounds,” he said slowly, but Benji shook his head.
“It’s not. Look deep inside of you, and if you can write down three reasons why you need to keep her, then do it. But if you can’t, then let her go,” he said before opening the drawer in the side table and grabbing a pen and paper. Throwing them to Jordie, he said, “And if you can find three reasons to keep her, make a list of the things that need to change, and then give them to her. If she can’t change them, let her go.”
Jordie looked down at the piece of paper and then back at Benji. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “I have so many lists that I make for every person I form a relationship with. It’s something Richie taught me, and it’s worked for me.”
“So I have a list on me?”
Benji grinned as he shrugged. “Yeah, and you made the cut.”
Jordie shot him back a grin as he reached for the pen. Looking up to see if Benji was watching him, he found that he wasn’t. He was watching TV, and when Jordie looked back down, he sucked in a breath.
He could do this. His pencil shook as he wrote, but even he didn’t believe what he wrote. Or at least he thought the reasons meant enough to go through the pain she put him through.
I love her.
She gave me life.
Staring at the piece of the paper, he smacked his pen to it and shook his head. He couldn’t come up with a three. Staring at the paper, he read one and two again, and then slowly crossed out one. He didn’t love her. He couldn’t. She gave him no reason to love her. Before, he’d told himself it was love. But really, that was because he was a kid and she was all he knew. He didn’t have a dad, didn’t have someone who could show him love. But then he met Karson, his family, and ultimately, Kacey.
Because of them, he knew real love—true, undeniable love.
The kind of love that people die for.
And Stacey Thomas did not deserve that love.
Especially not from him.
Holding the puck behind the Stars’ net, Jordie looked to Karson, who was watching with him, waiting for the puck. An offenseman was waiting for him to go but, acting as if he was going to pass it, he deked it to the other side, going around the net, sending it hard up to Erik who was waiting at the line. As he carried it into the zone, Jordie skated hard to catch up, crossing the blue line with Karson. As Karson shot, it was knocked away. Anderson and Titov fought for it in the corner as Baylor waited in the slot. Finally getting it out, Erik shot it over to Karson, who took the shot. But it was quickly rebounded right to Baylor. She had no shot, but Jordie would. She sent it back to Jordie, he deked around two offensemen, but just as he was about to shoot, a defenseman tripped him, the puck hitting the goalie’s shoulder as Jordie went face first into the goal, the post smacking him right between his neck and shoulder. Looking up, he groaned.
Fuck. It didn’t go in.
Pain shot down his shoulder, his neck throbbing as he got up slowly, and Karson came to make sure he was okay. He could hear Coach screaming, even Erik, and when he realized the whistle was blown for a penalty against him for high-sticking the dick that tripped him, he was screaming too.
“Are you serious?”
“High stick,” the ref yelled as he went for center ice, but Jordie followed.
“My stick went up because the douche tripped me!”
“Fucking *,” the guy called, but Jordie ignored him.