Operation Endurance

CHAPTER 29

Julie squirmed as daggers of arousal slammed through her core. Whoa, Penelope had written an extremely hot book this time. Not that they were usually anything less than scorching. How Penelope had managed to hide that she was an erotic romance writer all these years when she was writing stuff like this, Julie had no idea. She slammed the notebook shut and flung the covers off her hot body.

After spending most the day sleeping off the lingering sickness, insomnia had struck tonight. She’d thought reading would help her to relax. Instead, now she was even more worked up and awake than she’d been when she crawled into bed.

Chris slept just a room away. It would be so easy to go and slip quietly into his bed and let nature take its course. They still had chemistry going for them. There was no doubt it would be good. Before Chris and that Valentine’s Day weekend, she hadn’t known what she was missing. Now she knew and that made the loss of that ecstasy that much more painful.

Aaron had told her that it was time for her to live. Wouldn’t this qualify as doing that?

Her nipples pebbled and ached. She rubbed across them, trying to ease the incessant need, but her own touch wasn’t going to do it for her tonight. She twisted in her bed, desire pulling at her. It had been so long since anyone else had touched her. Chris had been her last sexual experience and even though it had been amazing, fifteen months was too long to go without sex.

A low moaning, “No,” filtered down the hall.

Julie froze. That sounded like Chris. She scrambled out of her bed and down the hall to his room where his door was cracked slightly open and she could see him thrashing in the covers.

The sweat on his torso glimmered in the moonlight and her gut wrenched. His chest was covered with scars, both small and large. She knew in her mind that he’d been tortured, but seeing the effects made her sick for him. The pain he must have endured. She swallowed hard, unsure what to do. The odds were high he wouldn’t appreciate her intrusion, but she didn’t want to leave him while he was so obviously caught up in a nightmare.

Suddenly, he tensed. Julie held her breath, not knowing if she should stay or if she should go. With a shouted, “Oh F*ck! No!” Chris sat straight up in bed, his chest heaving. She rushed over to his side and lowered herself onto the bed beside him so she could reach her arms around him. His sweat-slickened skin felt chilled under her fingertips and she rubbed his back, pressing her chest into his side, trying to share her warmth. Shudders rolled through him and he continued to gasp for breath.

She curled her fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck as he slowly sank into her embrace. “It was just a dream. It’s okay. You’re safe now,” she whispered into his ear, not sure how awake he was yet. His chest continued to heave, but his arms reached around her to hold onto her as he trembled.

His muscles slowly began to relax into her as she held him, smoothing her hands lightly over the planes of the muscles of his back. She could feel more scarring here, but tried to smooth over the ridges. Her heart broke as she considered how he’d gotten them.

“Julie?” he croaked as he hesitantly touched her.

She leaned away from him so she could look at his eyes in the semi-darkness. His eyes still looked haunted. “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s just me. You had a nightmare. Do you want me to turn on the light?”

“No,” he rasped as another shudder travelled up his spine. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay. I was awake. I was just reading.” She cupped his cheek softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “It’s always the same.” His voice broke. “Just a replay, because obviously it wasn’t bad enough to have to live through it the first time.” His chuckle sounded hollow and bitter.

She tightened her hold around him wanting to give him something else, anything else to hold onto. As she traced a ridge under her fingertip, she had an idea. She kissed his neck and then whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry it happened in the first place. I’m sorry you’ll always have to live with the memories and nightmares. But maybe we can do something to displace some of those nightmares.”

She crawled up into his lap and he watched her warily. “Julie, I’m not sure—”

She silenced him with a soft kiss on his lips. “Let me,” she said seductively and then began tracing the scars running along his pecs with her tongue and lips. Another shudder rolled through him as he moaned low and deep.

That moan went straight to her core and her panties flooded with arousal. As she explored the planes of his hard muscles, her eyes filled with tears at the sheer amount of scars that marred his gorgeous body. She kissed and caressed, as if the action could take some of his pain away from him.

His gentle hands swiped at the tears flowing freely down her face. “Don’t cry for me, Butterfly. Never cry for me. It’s okay. I’m okay.” His voice cracked with emotion.

“I just hate that you had to go through it. I want to be able to take away your pain.”

He frowned down at her. “I don’t want your pity, Julie.”

“That’s not—”

He scooted back to put some separation between their bodies, tugging the sheet up for modesty. He ran a hand over his face. “It’s late. You probably should go to sleep. I’m sorry I disturbed your night.”

“Chris—”

“Please, Julie,” he pleaded. “Please just go back to your room.”

She gave a curt nod as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Okay, for tonight, but we haven’t finished this. Not by a long shot.” She got off the bed and walked to the doorway. Looking back at him, his head hung in his hands and his shoulders drooped. This definitely wasn’t over. She wasn’t going to give up on them.