“She warned me off you. Told me you never followed your word . . . told me never to believe you.” Her voice was low and soft, as though she wasn’t speaking to him, but to herself. “I shouldn’t have believed in you.”
He heard the addition of the in. Hated it. Lashed out at her. “Why did you, then? Why did you believe in me?”
She looked up at him, seeming surprised by his words. “I thought—” she began, then stopped. Rephrased. “You saw me.”
What in hell did that mean?
He didn’t ask. She was already explaining. “You listened to me. You heard me. You didn’t mind that I was odd. In fact, you seemed to enjoy it.”
He did enjoy it. By God, he wanted to bask in it.
She shook her head. “I wanted to believe that someone could do all those things. Perhaps, if you did . . . then . . .”
She trailed off, but he heard the words as though she’d shouted them. Then Castleton might.
If he hadn’t already felt like a dozen kinds of ass, he would now. “Pippa.” He reached for her again, knowing he shouldn’t. Knowing that this time he could not resist touching her. And he might not be able to resist claiming her.
She stepped away from him, out of his reach, returning to the present. To him. “No.” Before he could act, move, take, repair, she took a deep breath, and spoke. “No. You are right, of course. I do have an earl, who is kind and good and soon to be my husband, and there is nothing about you or your past—or your present for that matter—that should be relevant to me.”
She backed away, and he followed her like a dog on a lead. Hating the words she spoke—their logic and reason. She was unlike any other woman he’d ever known, and he’d never in his life wanted to understand a woman so much.
She kept talking, looking down at her hands, those imperfect fingers woven together. “I understand that there is nothing about me that is of interest to you . . . that I’m more trouble than I’m worth . . . that I should never have brought you into my experiments.”
He stopped her. “They aren’t experiments.”
She looked up at him, eyes black in that ridiculous mask. He’d like to tear it from her, crush it beneath his boot and take a horsewhip to Chase for having it made. “Of course they are.”
“No, Pippa. They aren’t. They’re a desire for knowledge, certainly, a need for it, even. But more than that, they’re a need for understanding of this thing that you are about to do, that you have refused to stop and that terrifies you. They are a desperate ploy to stop yourself from feeling all the doubt and frustration and fear that you must be feeling. You say you want to understand what happens between men and women. Between husbands and wives. But instead of going to any number of those who know better—who know firsthand . . . you come to me. In the darkness.”
She backed away, even as he stalked her. “I came to you in the middle of the day.”
“It’s always night inside the Angel. Always dark.” He paused, loving the way her lips parted, just barely, as though she could not get enough air. Neither could he. “You came to me because you don’t want it. The ordinary. The mundane. You don’t want him.”
She shook her head. “That’s not true. I came to you because I don’t understand what all the fuss is about.”
“You came to me because you fear that it’s not worth the fuss with him.”
“I came to you because I thought you were a man I would not see again.”
“Liar.” The word was harsh in the small space, at once accusation and accolade.
She looked up at him, those black eyes empty. “You would know. You’ve lied to me from the very beginning with your weighted dice and your false promises and your Mr. Cross.”
“I never lied, love.”
“Even that is a lie!”
“I told you from the beginning that I was a scoundrel. That was my truth.”
She gaped at him. “And that absolves you of your sin?”
“I’ve never asked for absolution.” He reached for the horrid mask, pulling it from her face, regretting the movement the moment he saw those enormous blue eyes, swimming with emotion.
Not regretting it at all.
Adoring it.
Adoring her.
“I told you to leave me. I told you never to come near me.” He leaned in, torturing them both—so close and still an unbearable distance. “But you couldn’t resist. You want me to teach you the things you should learn from him. You want my experience. My sin. My kiss. And not his.”
Her gaze was on his mouth, and he held back a groan at the hunger in those blue eyes. God, he’d never wanted anything the way he wanted her.
“You’ve never kissed me,” she whispered.
“I’ve wanted to.” The words were so simple, they felt like a lie. Want didn’t come close to articulating the way he felt. About her touch. About her taste. About her.
Want was a speck in the universe of his desire.
She shook her head. “Another lie. You can’t even touch me without pulling away as though you’ve been burned. You clearly aren’t interested in touching me.”
For someone who prided herself on her commitment to scientific observation, Philippa Marbury was utterly oblivious.