Off Sides

chapter 15




Ryan



I'm at my arraignment hearing the day after my arrest. Uncle Jim brought me one of my suits to wear and he's sitting with Danny behind me. I glance back at her and give her a reassuring smile. She returns it and mouths I love you.

Uncle Jim hired me a really good lawyer and he has prepared me that the judge will probably not throw the charges out at this point, but that I should be able to make bail with no problems. This satisfies me.

I know I should be afraid at the prospect of getting convicted but I'm not. And I have no regrets for beating that shit the way I did. I'd do it again if he even looks at Danny the wrong way. The only solace I have right now is that he is in jail for attempted rape and will most likely not make bail.

The hearing is short. I stand as the judge reads the charges against me and asks how I plead. I want to say, "I'd do it all over again, Your Honor" but instead I say, "Not Guilty" as my attorney instructed me to do. Bail is set at $10,000 which is easy money and then the hearing is over.

My attorney tells Uncle Jim and Danny that he'll walk me through the process of paying the bail and getting me released, and that we will meet them on the front steps of the courthouse.

***

I walk out of the courthouse and immediately loosen the tie around my throat. I've always felt too confined in them. I glance around looking for Danny and Uncle Jim and when I find her my blood starts to boil. My mother is standing there and she and Uncle Jim are arguing. Danny is pale looking.

I jog over to them and as I come up behind my mother, I hear her say, "Well, he wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for her. Girls like her bring this stuff upon themselves."

"Celia!" My uncle says with warning. "That's enough."

I brush past my mother and gather Danny in my arms. I give her a hug and kiss her on her forehead. I pull back and look at her. She gives me a shaky smile.

Turning to my mother, I say the words that need to be said. "Mother, you've said the last hurtful thing about Danny that I will tolerate. I'm done with you. Do not contact me or reach out to me again. In fact, how about you just pretend I never existed."

Danny and my mother both gasp out loud.

"Ryan," my mother pleads. "You don't mean that. You can't choose her over your family."

I feel Danny flinch in my arms over those words. I look at my mom levelly. "Listen carefully, Mother, because I mean this with every fiber of my being. I am choosing love. I am choosing someone who loves me unconditionally, no matter what. It's as simple as that."

I turn and walk away, pulling Danny along with me. I can hear my mother crying and I even hear Uncle Jim say, "You brought it upon yourself, Celia."

We walk to my Range Rover that Danny had driven today. She hands me the keys and I open the door to let her in. Before she steps in, I stop her and she looks at me. She has purple bruising over her right cheekbone. I reach my fingers out and skim over it gently. She closes her eyes at the touch.

I smooth my fingers into her hair and slide them to the back of her head. I need her so badly. I need to know none of this is scaring her away from me. Pulling her face toward mine, I tentatively touch my lips to hers. She sighs into me and lets herself go, entwining her tongue around mine. Relief courses through me as I realize I've not lost her.

***

We are lying in Danny's bed, naked, and thoroughly replete. I'm on my back and she's lying on top of me with her head on my chest. I'm stroking her hair and her back, both feeling like silk under my palm.

Our lovemaking was slow and tender. When we got to her apartment, Danny's first words were, "Touch me, please. Make me forget."

And I did.

"What are you thinking?" Danny asks me.

"I'm actually thinking of your music. Can you get back into Julliard?"

Danny is quiet but then she answers softly. "I believe so. My audition was really good. And I withdrew for hardship reasons so I shouldn't have a problem."

"I think you should go back."

Her body stiffens in my arms and the lazy circles she was drawing on my chest with her fingers still.

"I can't afford it right now."

I sit up and pull her up with me. Holding her by the shoulders, I say, "Then let me help you."

Danny's shaking her head back and forth.

"Why not?" I demand.

My tone is harsh and I've never spoken to her this way before. She's taken aback for only a few seconds before her eyes go green on me with anger.

"Because I'm not some whore who takes gifts in return for sex. I already have enough of your friends calling me that...I don’t need any more."

My mouth hangs open. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Paying you for sex?"

She doesn't say anything but won't meet my eyes. I gently take hold of her chin and make her meet my gaze. "Danny...I love you. I want to help you achieve your dreams. That's what people in love do for each other."

Danny deflates right in front of me and crawls onto my lap. "I know, and I'm sorry I'm such a bitch about this. It just seems weird to me. And I’m sensitive about how others view me. You’re mom things I’m a gold digging tramp, remember?"

I'm quiet for a minute as I'm stroking her hair. Then I venture, "Would you feel different if we were married?"

She snaps her head up so hard it catches me on my chin with a resounding crack.

"Ouch," she swears.

I start laughing and rub the top of her head although I feel like I've been hit in the chin with a metal pipe.

Snuggling back to my chest, she softly says, "Don't joke about things like that. It's not funny."

"Who says I'm joking?"

She leans back to look at me once again, more carefully this time so we don't bang heads. Her eyes are wide and incredulous. "Ryan, we've known each other for like two seconds. How can you even think about marriage?"

Taking Danny's hands in mind, I look her dead in the eyes. "I can think it because I know, Danny. You're my one and only. Just like I'm yours. You know it's true."

She smiles and then kisses me. She doesn't respond and moves her mouth down my throat. She's trying to distract me but I'm not going to let it go. I'll just have to keep working on her until she either accepts my offer to help her with school or she agrees to marry me and then all of my money will be hers as well.

For now, Danny pushes me back down onto the bed and straddles me. As she rises up, I get lost in the perfection that hovers above me. We'll discuss school and marriage later.

***

The next morning, I get up early and cook Danny breakfast while she sleeps. We have a big day because Malone's arraignment is today and she wants to be present. And there's no way I'm letting her go alone.

Then I have to go see Coach and fill him in on everything. Given the criminal charges against me, I'm fully prepared to lose my Captaincy. Hell, I may get tossed off the team. Again, I still can't have a single regret for what I did.

I'm flipping pancakes when Paula walks in. Her hair is sticking up all over the place and she's rubbing her eyes.

"G'mornin'," she mumbles. "Danny still sleeping?"

"Good morning, sunshine. How many pancakes do you want? And yes, Sleeping Beauty is still...well...sleeping."

Paula holds up two fingers to indicate her pancake preference and pours herself a cup of coffee.

"How's she doing?" she asks me quietly.

"She's okay. Her face is a little sore but she's otherwise doing fine."

I finish Paula's pancakes for her and hand her the plate. I turn the stove off.

"Can I ask you something?"

Paula looks at me while stuffing a fork full into her mouth then nods.

"I offered to help Danny go back to Julliard, but she won't let me. So I offered her marriage, and she looked at me like I was crazy. What in the hell am I doing wrong?"

Paula looked at me like I was the biggest dumbass on the face of the earth. She swallowed her food and took a sip of coffee. "Seriously, Ryan. You're such a dumbass."

See, what'd I tell you?

"What is so wrong with me wanting to help her fulfill her dreams?" I sound petulant but I can't help it. I don't see how I can be wrong about this.

"Listen up and listen hard. I'm going to give you the best advice you've ever had." She pauses for dramatic effect, and then says, "Wait."

I anticipate more pearls of wisdom but none are forthcoming.

"That's it? Just 'wait'?"

Paula nods.

"And that's really the best advice I've ever had?"

"You can thank me at any time." She grins at me.

I sigh. "Please expound just a little bit more. My brain is apparently not comprehending you right now."

Paula pushes her plate back and picks up her mug of coffee. Sitting back in her seat, she looks at me with a smile. "You're a good man, Ryan. All you need to do is give our Danny some time and she'll come around. She's been through a lot lately. I'm telling you, just give her time and let your offers sink in. My girl is no dummy. She'll meet you halfway, I guarantee it."

The pressure in my chest eases up and I smile fully at Paula. "Thanks. That makes me feel a ton better."

"What makes you feel a ton better?" Danny asks as she pads into the kitchen, her eyes heavy with sleep.

Her hair is a knotted mess, probably due to our activities last night. She walks up to me and crawls onto my lap. I rub my nose along the side of hers and say, "Oh, nothing. Paula was giving me a home remedy for some heartburn I've been having."

Danny yawns and snuggles into me. "That's nice," she says sleepily.

I look over the top of her head at Paula who gives me a conspiratorial wink.

I wink back and hug my girl.