Not a Chance (Sweet Nothings)

chapter NINE



"So you've mentioned Kristin a few times," Arden said. They were laying on the mattress staring up at the ceiling.

"We're each other's backup plans," Travis replied.

Arden kicked her feet in and out. They'd both run out of enthusiasm for cards and board games and romance novels. The lack of entertainment left nothing to distract her from the increasing sizzle that was developing between them. She was fairly certain if he were to say or do just the right thing, she'd lose all self-control and jump him.

"Well if you're not seeing anyone else," Arden said, "why is she your backup plan?"

Travis sighed. "Well...when we first hooked up, I wasn't interested in anything serious. And I was still so f*cked up after Tonya leaving that I doubt Kristen would have had me anyway. By the time I got through all that and on my feet good and steady, Kristen had fallen in love with Brody Jessop. But he's still getting over losing his wife, so he's needed time. She's approached him several times and gotten her heart broken. Those are the times she and I tend to hook up."

"Does Brody know about your relationship with her?"

Travis shrugged. "Don't know."

Arden sighed. It was okay, talking about Kristen like this. It didn't seem real. Didn't bother her. But she was fairly certain if she ever saw her with Travis, she'd have to hate the woman.

"How did you and Nick first get together?" Travis asked.

Arden glanced at him to make sure he wasn't somehow trying to harass her. Satisfied, she looked back up at the ceiling. "He was a senior and I was a sophomore. We met at a party. That was about it."

"How do rich kids party?"

"We wait until someone's parents go out of town, steal from our parents' liquor cabinets, and then get drunk and make out. How do poor kids party?"

He chuckled. "We pile in pickup trucks and drive down to Coon Hollow where old Dirk Danby lives. We drink whiskey from his still and get in fights."

"My God. We're freaking Romeo and Juliet."

Travis turned to look at her. She froze, immediately regretting saying it. Travis rolled up on his elbow and for a second she thought he was going to kiss her. But he didn't. He just grinned down at her. "No we're not," he said. "I'm pretty crazy about you, but not enough to kill myself over."

"Is that so? Too bad for you. I only go for the suicidal ones."

He studied her and she felt her skin heating up. He reached over and took her hand and she let him. His fingers played through hers and it was easily the most erotic skin-on-skin contact she'd ever experienced. She didn't pull her hand away. It would have been too difficult. Too much to ask, even of her, the queen of self-control.

"So," Travis said. "You met at a party. Then what?"

Arden returned her gaze to the ceiling, trying to detach herself from the fact that Travis's hand was making love to her own. "Nothing much. We started dating. It was really good, back then. I thought he was so cool. And he really is a good looking guy. I think mostly I liked the attention I got from dating him. Then he left for college and we broke up. Then when I went to college, we hooked up again. At another party."

"Were you by any chance drunk at these parties?" Travis asked.

She had been, come to think of it. But then, whenever it came to having sex with Nick, drinking was always helpful. "Everyone is drunk at those parties."

"Mm-hmm. So then what?"

"So, we dated a while. Then he went to grad school and we broke up again. I didn't really feel like doing the long distance thing. Then I graduated and moved here and he graduated and moved here and we hooked back up. Not at a party. Just hanging out. Actually I think it was a high school football game. And we've been together since then. Which is about a year and a half."

"Well that's all very romantic," Travis said. "But even though you clearly love him passionately, it's not a very interesting story."

She looked at him. They just held hands, now. "It's a practical story."

"Sure. But you're going to have grandchildren someday. And they're going to beg you to tell them how you and grandpa fell in love. And wouldn't it be much more interesting to say that you met one fateful night when you were caught together in a snowstorm. After which you spent four days talking and laughing and falling in love. Now that's a good story."

Arden tried to come up with something withering to say. But he was holding her hand and looking at her like she was something glorious. And she wanted him like she'd never wanted anyone before. She wanted to touch him and taste him and memorize him. She wanted to rip his shirt off of him and nestle her face in the soft hair on his strong chest.

Of course, those were all physical things. And it would be wrong to give in to physical attraction that had no basis for a future when she was engaged to a perfectly good man. So what if Nick didn't excite her like this. She owed him her loyalty. He was attractive in his own way. In fact, he was just what she'd always wanted. Tall, trim, well-dressed and always smelling good. She should focus on learning to be turned on by Nick and stop thinking about Travis. Besides, it was only boredom and isolation that was driving these thoughts.

Travis was stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. When she looked at him she saw he was lost in his own thoughts. He wasn't even looking at her. Just staring at their hands, his brow furrowed.

"Travis," she said softly, "I think if you'll just realize that we're bored out of our mind here. I could be any female. You could be any male. Of course we're going to want to do things we shouldn't. It'll go away once we're back to our own homes and lives. You probably won't even think about me anymore. And I'll forget all about these feelings I'm having for you right now. Because they're not real. They're not deep. They're basic human instinct. But we're rational people and we can fight it for another day or two."

Travis looked at her, a mild expression of disgust in his eyes. "Don't act like you know how I feel," he said.

She was surprised by his bluntness.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, closing his eyes. She saw then that his feelings were deeper than what she'd just described. She jerked her hand away. "I'm engaged," she said.

"No shit," he said.

"I'm not interested in you."

"Yeah, I'm figuring that out. But thanks for being up front about it." He turned and sat up on the edge of the mattress, his back to her. He dug his palms into his eyes for a second and then stood and went into the kitchen.

Arden rolled over and pulled the blanket up to her chin. It smelled like him. She breathed deeply and closed her eyes.