Not Quite Dating

Chapter Four




“You’re stalling,” Monica said with laughter in her voice.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Jessie wrinkled her nose at her sister and turned to the mirror one last time. The dress fit perfectly. The cut of the dress accentuated her slim waist and the shoes showed off her calves.

Her hair sat piled on her head with plenty of whimsy strips falling to her shoulders. Jack had even tucked a pair of earrings into the box. Or maybe the man who originally bought the dress had tossed them in and Jack had no idea they were in there.
     



“You look gorgeous.” Monica was sprawled on the bed, gazing at Jessie while tossing popcorn in her mouth.

Jessie ran her hands over her nervous stomach and turned to the side. “It’s not bad, huh?”

“So tell me more about this guy…Jack.”

Maybe it is time to get going? “I’ve already told you. He’s just a guy I met at the restaurant who wants to help me find a nice, well-off man who can help dig me out of this hole I’m in. And then I can finish my degree, too.”

“Is he cute?”

“Who, Jack?”

Monica rolled her eyes. “No, the well-off guy you haven’t met yet! Of course I mean Jack.”

Answering Monica’s question honestly would result in constant harassment. “He’s all right, I guess.” If you want your men sexy, gorgeous, and confident beyond reason. Jessie pictured his dimpled grin and couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on her own face.

“He’s from Texas?”

“Yep.”

“Accent?”

“One that matches the cowboy hat he’s always wearing.”

“When are we going to meet him?”

Jessie turned to her sister and placed her hands on her waist. “It isn’t what you’re thinking, Mo. Jack is a friend. That’s it. I’ve told him no to him and me dating.”

“So he is into you!”

“A lot of good that does. He’s a waiter at the hotel. From the sound of it, he doesn’t stay put for any real length of time, and he mooches off his friends when he needs a place to stay. I need a guy to actually help around here, not want it for free.”

Monica pursed her lips together in thought. “Is he a bum?”

“No,” Jessie burst out, and then answered more honestly, “I don’t know. I think he does OK for himself. Listen, I need to go.”

Her sister scrambled off the bed and handed her the wrap that came with the dress.

“I’ve got everything here, so don’t worry about rushing home. You deserve a fun night out.”

“Thanks.” Jessie hugged her sister and exited her bedroom.

Danny was curled up on the couch with his own bowl of popcorn. “You look pretty, Mommy.”

“Thanks, sweetheart. You be good for Aunt Monica.” Danny was always good for her sister.

“We’re going to watch a DVD,” he told her.

“OK, but I want you in bed by nine.”

“I know.”

Jessie grabbed her purse and headed for the door. “Thanks again, Mo. I owe you.”

“Go. Have a great time.”



Jack checked his watch for the third time in fifteen minutes. People were still filing in, but he’d yet to spot the one woman he’d been searching for.

Maybe she changed her mind.

He turned to offer one of the guests walking by one of the miniquiches he carried on a plate, acting the role of waiter. With a few exceptions, many of the people at the party had no idea who he was. Most of the staff at the hotel who did know were also dressed as waiters, adding to the disguise.

Several members of the room service staff were standing in a circle talking. Two of the men held beverages in their hands, while the women kept glancing around the party looking nervous. Jack saw Sam hovering by the bar, staring at the tray of champagne-filled glasses. Jack walked to his side. “Hey, Sam.”

“Hello, Mr.—”

“Jack,” he quickly interrupted. Those kinds of slips would blow his cover should Jessie actually show up.

“Hello, Jack.”

He motioned toward the fidgety women. “Isn’t that Louisa and Shelley from housekeeping?”

Sam nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“They look thirsty. You might help break the ice by offering them an adult beverage.”

Sam tried not to scowl, but he failed. He removed several glasses from the tray before attempting to pick it up. Jack noted the skinny black tie and vest covering the white linen shirt, the same uniform Jack was wearing, and thought, You can make him look like a waiter, but you can’t expect him to perform like one.

Sam’s tray tilted when he lifted it. When he walked over to his staff, he did so at such a slow pace, Jack thought it would be an hour before he crossed the room. Even if he managed to make it, half the liquid would be spilled out of the glasses, if they didn’t fall over altogether.

He chuckled.

Then he felt her.

Jack swiveled toward the entrance, caught sight of Jessie, and blew out a breath. His entire body kicked into gear. His heart pounded hard in his chest, his eyes felt hot, and the swelling in his pants reminded him of how long he’d been without a woman.

There wasn’t a singular word to describe the fresh beauty he saw when he looked at her. Her bashful smile danced behind her eyes as she scanned the room. The dress caressed her curves like a lover’s skillful hands. Her long legs peeked beneath the material and lifted enough in the heels to make him want to touch the spot behind her calves. Jessie was rainbows and unicorns and Jack knew he absolutely had to have her.

Jessie must have felt the weight of his stare because her gaze slid to his and an instant smile spread over her face. She sent a timid wave.

Jack tried not to act too rushed as he walked to her side. He stopped by one group of people, offered the appetizer, and then met up with Jessie.

“You’re stunning,” he told her.

Her cheeks grew pink, her teeth flashed in a smile. “You don’t look half bad yourself, Jack. I hardly recognized you without your hat.” When she spoke, she straightened his tie and gave it a tiny pat before lowering her hand.

“The hat doesn’t match the uniform.”

“It would set you apart from the rest.”

Sam took that moment to walk up to the two of them. Jack held his breath, hoping the man wouldn’t say anything to tip Jessie off. “Holding this tray is easier when you don’t have so much on it,” Sam said.

“I told you you’d get the hang of it.” Jack removed the last glass from the tray and handed it to Jessie. “Sam, this is Jessie, a friend of mine.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Jessie.”

Jack nodded to Sam. “You might want to fill that tray before the new boss thinks you’re slacking,” he told him.

“Good thing this is only temporary,” Sam told him. “I don’t think I could do it full-time.”

“Builds character,” Jack said.

Sam agreed before turning toward the kitchen and marching away.

“Temporary?” Jessie asked.

“The hotel beefs up the staff for the holidays. Sam is new at his job.” Very new!
     



Jessie tilted the sparkling wine to her full lips and took a sip. “It’s nice of you to look out for him.”

Watching her tongue chase a drop of champagne on her lip caused his stomach to warm. Lord, he had it bad. Jack forced his gaze to her eyes. “Sam’s a good sport. Come on over here.” He led her toward a far wall so they could scout the entire room. “Perfect people-watching position, don’t you think?”

“It is. This place is beautiful. The decorations are amazing, elegant.”

Jack glanced around the huge hall completely decked out with holiday lights, poinsettias, garland, Christmas trees with sparkling ornaments. “The decorating staff does a great job. You’d never know this place screamed Thanksgiving two days ago.”

“The hotel has a decorating staff?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll bet that’s a fun job.”

“The coordinator drives them hard, but the same people come back year after year.”

“My sister, Monica, is finishing up school this year. Next year I plan to go back. Take a design class or two.”

Jack noted the distant gaze in her eyes. Her words were his first glimpse into her dreams. “What do you want to do?”

“Anything but what I’m doing. I’d like to be an event coordinator, maybe even a wedding planner. I want a job I don’t have to wash off at the end of the day.”

“Emily is the coordinator here, she works plenty hard.”

Jessie huffed. “I’ll bet she doesn’t go home smelling like french-fry grease and sticky syrup.”

Jack shook his head. “Probably not.”

She tipped the glass back, and Jack noticed her tongue peek out to lick the rim. The movement wasn’t meant to be sexy, but he had a hard time tearing his eyes away.

“So, where are all those eligible bachelors?” she asked.

Snapping out of his daze, Jack turned to scan the room. “I don’t see too many here yet.”

“Really?”

No, but he didn’t want to point out anyone she might actually consider dating. “Wait here, I need to pass this around and appease my boss. I’ll be back in a flash. Here, take a couple.” He offered her the bite-sized egg puffs on his tray.

“Quiche?”

“Yeah.”

“Do cowboys eat quiche?”

He laughed and then popped one in his mouth. “Not bad.”

Jessie glanced behind him and swatted his arm. “Better watch it. Those are for the guests.”

He winked at her concern and placed a couple of quiches on a napkin before handing it to her.

“I’ll be right back.”



Jessie was on her second glass of champagne, and Jack had stuffed more than her share of appetizers onto her napkin. She insisted on moving around the room so he wouldn’t get in trouble with his boss for hovering around her the whole night.

For a brief while, she was certain he wasn’t going to point out anyone to zero in on for a date. Passive proof that he wanted her for himself and joining the party was a ploy for his hidden agenda. She could have easily been irritated if Jack wasn’t so damn cute as he passed out food and laughed with his customers. And how long had it been since she’d had an adult night out? Forever! That’s how long.

She’d just about given up on Jack finding an eligible man when he pointed to a lone man sitting at the bar.

“Which one?” she asked, peeking over Jack’s shoulder. There were a few men at the bar; two were sitting next to women, another sipped something from a martini glass, another could pose as her father.

“Don’t stare.” Jack scooted in front of her eyes, blocking her view. “Joe Richard, he’s been married before. Divorced now, kids stay with his wife.”

Hmm, she wasn’t sure about having more to deal with. Then again, who was she to talk? “Which one is he?”

Jack turned slightly. “He’s the one with the thinning hair.”

Of course, the father figure. “Isn’t he a little old for me?”

“So he needs to be young and rich?”

“It would help if I didn’t look the part of a gold digger.”

Jack leaned against the wall. “Do you feel like a gold digger?”

“Hook me up with a rich guy, and I’ll tell ya in about a week.” Jessie continued to glance around the room. “Tall guy, by the clock.” She pointed out a man in his thirties who was laughing at something the man next to him had said.

Jack frowned. “Married.”

“Really, I don’t see a ring.”

“Which is part of his problem. He’s a player.”

Jessie diverted her gaze. “I don’t need that.”

“Third table down from the buffet table. Dark hair, a little thick around the middle.” Jack moved to the side so she could see whom he was talking about.

Thick? “At least he couldn’t be my dad, but please, Jack. He looks like a gangster.” Boy did he, short, calorically challenged, and with too much flashy jewelry.

“He probably is. He has what we call ‘family money.’ I don’t think he’s worked a day in his life.”

“A bum with deep pockets,” Jessie said.

“Right.”

“No bums, rich or not. A man has to make his own living. I don’t want someone who will drown if the stock market drops. The guy has to be able to dig himself back out.” Jessie glanced over the heads again.

“So let me get this straight. Rich, not too fat, self-made, young…did I leave anything out?”

“He’s gotta like kids.”

Jack blew out a long breath. “That’s a tall order, darlin’. You sure that kind of guy is out there?”

It was a lofty list. “I’m not sure of anything, Jack. This was your idea.” Her tone was short.

“OK, all right, don’t get all defensive. The night’s still young.”

She glanced at her watch. Actually, it was past eleven already. And no one new was walking in the door.

“Gray suit, just stepped up to the bar,” Jack pointed out.

The man in question had his back to her, and Jessie waited for him to turn around. When he did, she skirted her gaze away. “That nose. Lord, what a shame.”

Jack laughed and so did she. “That’s a honker.”

“How can he see past it?” she asked.

“Not sure he can.”

One of the female guests walked up to Jack and picked up a piece of shrimp he had on his tray. “These are divine,” she cooed as she plucked it into her mouth.

“Glad you like ’em, ma’am.”
     



“Ma’am. Goodness, that makes me sound so old.”

Jessie figured the woman was in her forties. The sequined dress she wore sparkled when she walked. Her fingers dripped with diamonds. When her eyes traveled up one length of Jack and down the other, it was all Jessie could do to keep her eyes from rolling in disgust. Could she be more obvious?

“I was brought up to be respectful,” Jack told the woman as his gaze passed over her without as much as a hint of interest.

“Oh, and a cute accent, too. How delightful.”

Jessie wanted to laugh. Next thing you know the cougar will be slipping her room key into Jack’s pocket.

“Do you want another one?” Jack asked the woman, leaning the tray toward her.

Her eyes rolled up and down his frame a second time before she finally said, “Would I ever.”

Jessie lifted her hands and glanced at them, wondering if she was invisible to this woman or if she was always so rude.

“Ah, Jack, don’t you need to stroll around the room with those?” Jessie asked, doing her best to pull his attention away from the surgery-stabilized woman.

“I suppose I should,” he said.

Jessie nudged him, which resulted in a cheeky grin and a chuckle as he walked away.

Cougar-lady watched his ass as he left their side. “Yum,” she whispered nearly to herself.

“He’s a little young for you, don’t you think?” Jessie asked.

Cougar-lady’s eyes shot to Jessie, seeing her for the first time. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I always make it worth their while.”

The way she spoke, Jessie realized this woman used men like Jack to suit their needs, never worrying about appearances. Her dress and jewelry pointed to a fat checking account or a high limit on a credit card. Jessie wondered if Jack ever took women like this one up on their offers of sex, a good time, and probably some type of monetary gain from the whole arrangement.

What did that make Jessie? Here she was looking for love with a pocketbook, and the cougar-lady was looking for loving using her pocketbook.

Suddenly the wine in Jessie’s glass tasted like vinegar. “Excuse me,” she said, shifting around the woman and setting the near-empty glass on a table.

The room grew warm. Jessie wandered out to the twinkling lighted veranda where some of the guests mingled. Guilt and a little disappointment in her own agenda made her want to leave. She was using Jack and his good-natured way just as much as the cougar would if given the chance. When had she become so shallow?

Maybe this is a mistake?

Attempting to shake her abruptly shifting mood, Jessie took in the breathtaking view of the gardens and the lit pond with koi swimming around in circles. She leaned over the railing to see one of the orange fish disappear between two rocks.

When she stood up, she realized someone had joined her.

“Hello,” the sharply dressed man said to her once their eyes met. He was tall, about Jack’s height, slender, almost too much so. He had long fingers that looked as if he played the piano.

“Hi,” she managed.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you.” His easy smile was nice, but brief.

“No, just getting some fresh air.”

“I’m Brad,” he said, extending his hand.

“Jessie.” She allowed him to shake her hand. He let go quickly.

“It is a bit stuffy in there. Are you out here waiting for someone?”

Testing the waters, Jessie thought, and flirting with her, if she wasn’t too far out of the game to notice. His hair was darker than Jack’s, but not in a bad way. He definitely wasn’t from Texas; not a single twang to his voice.

“No, not really.” Even saying that felt strange, like maybe she should say she knew one of the servers. Then again, she was there to meet someone. Hadn’t Jack invited her to do just that?

“Good, then maybe you won’t mind if I join you.”

Did she want that? Brad wasn’t unappealing, but there wasn’t much about him that screamed attraction. When he smiled, the spark didn’t reach his eyes, not the way Jack’s eyes danced when he laughed.

She really needed to stop comparing the man to Jack. Jack was the waiter; this man was a guest. Still, her concern that Jack could round the corner and catch her talking to this guy made her feel wrong somehow. It shouldn’t, she realized, but it did. Bad form to be wearing a dress one man picked out for her while another man was flirting with her.

“I’m actually about to leave, but it’s been nice meeting you.”

A flash of disappointment spread over Brad’s face. “Are you just saying that, or do you mean that?” he asked.

“I mean it. It’s late, and my…my sitter needs to get home.” OK, that was a crock. Monica didn’t need to go anywhere. Jessie had learned early on that talking about her sitter was a good way of telling a prospective date that she was a mother without the awkward Do you want to date a single mom conversation.

Brad glanced at her left hand.

“I’m not married,” she informed him, saving him the trouble of asking.

He smiled again. No dimples, no spark to his brown eyes. At least she thought they were brown. It was hard to tell with the dim lighting.

“How old are your children?”

OK, he didn’t run screaming. Not a bad sign.

“Child. I have a son. He’s five.”

Brad lifted his chin. “I’ll bet he’s adorable, just like his mother.”

Hookay, time to go. “Thanks, he’s the best.” She scooted away, but only a couple of steps. She peeked over her shoulder, sure someone was watching her.

“Would you mind if I called you, Jessie? Maybe grab a cup of coffee or something?”

Jessie had to stop herself from saying no. Why? she asked herself.

Jack.

Dammit.

“That might be nice,” she found herself saying. “I like coffee.”

He pulled out a pen from the inside of his suit pocket and a card. “I’m going out of town this week, but I’ll be back the beginning of next.”

Jessie rambled off her number, which Brad happily wrote down.

“I really should go.”

He lifted his eyebrows and said, “I’ll see you later, then.”

“OK, bye.”

Jessie pulled her wrap close and fought a chill as she stepped back into the busy ballroom. She walked about three yards before she noticed Jack’s eyes on her. He glanced behind her, to the open patio doors, then back her way. Jessie had to force herself not to look behind her to see if Brad had walked in the room. She felt guilty as it was, which was stupid. She shouldn’t feel bad at all.
     



She made her way to Jack’s side, forcing a calm smile on her face.

“There you are,” he said when she was within earshot.

“I needed to escape the cougar-lady after you left.”

Jack was still watching the doorway.

Jessie shifted on her feet. “Um, Jack, I think I should work my way home.” It was nearly midnight, and some of the guests had started to leave.

Something shifted in Jack’s gaze.

Jessie turned toward the patio doors and noticed Brad watching the two of them. He nodded his head to her before turning to talk to one of the guests.

“Who’s that?” Jack asked.

“Some guy.”

“Some guy?”

“Yeah, we met outside. He said his name was Brad. Do you know him?”

Jack shook his head; all the while, he followed Brad’s movements. “No, can’t say as I do.”

“He seemed nice enough.” Because not telling him was eating her up inside, she blurted out, “He asked me for my number.”

When Jack’s head spun to her, she swallowed hard. Jack pissed wasn’t a happy look. The sparkle she liked to see in his eyes when he smiled took on a whole new level when he was ticked. “Come on, Jack, you know I’m here to meet someone.”

“Someone I know that will do good by you. That guy—”

“Brad.”

“Brad, what kind of name is Brad? He looks like a lawyer.”

Jessie was sure Jack meant that as an insult, but a lawyer spelled stability to her. “Brad is a perfectly normal name and I don’t know what he does for a living.”

“What do you know about him?”

“Nothing, really.”

“And you just gave him your number? He could be some wacko. Why don’t you let me do the matchmaking?”

Jessie laughed. “Stop it. I doubt he’s a wacko.”

Jack finally stopped staring at Brad and gazed down at her.

“Thank you for your concern, but I’m a big girl. My judgment in people isn’t usually very far off.” As long as you weren’t counting Rory or Mathew.

“I don’t know.” He glanced back at Brad.

Jessie stood in front of him. “Don’t go doing anything stupid when I leave. Harassing the guests will get you fired.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes, didn’t you hear me?” No, of course he didn’t. Testosterone truly poisoned men’s brains.

“Is something wrong at home?”

“No, Danny is sleeping by now, I’m sure.”

Jack set the tray he held down on a nearby table. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

“That isn’t necessary.”

“I insist.” He placed his hand on the small of her back and pushed her to the door.

“What about work? Won’t you get in trouble?”

Jack smiled. Some of it actually overtook his frown, and his eyes started to sparkle again. “I’m off at midnight anyway.”

“It’s not midnight yet.”

He ignored her words and fell in step beside her. They dodged several people before making their way to the quiet lobby, then out into the entryway. “Did you valet park?”

“What do you think?” she asked as she turned toward the sidewalk, where self-parking was encouraged.

Jack nodded to the porter before catching up to her again. “You really don’t need to walk me to my car.”

“You can’t accuse me of not being a gentleman.”

No, she couldn’t say that about him. Jessie weaved her way through the cars until she saw her old Toyota Celica. It looked lost among so many fancy, newer vehicles. It ran, and that’s what counted.

“This is me,” she announced as she fished her keys from her bag. She opened the door and tossed her purse in the passenger seat before turning to Jack. “Thanks again, Jack. For everything.”

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “It’s nothing. I’m glad you came.”

“I had fun. Be careful with the cougar-lady if you go back in there,” she warned.

“Cougar-lady?”

“Yeah, the flashy woman with the shrimp. She looks like she eats waiters for breakfast, and she had you in her sights.” Friends warn friends about bad choices for the bedroom, didn’t they?

“You be careful with Braaad.”

Jessie had to smirk at how Jack drew out Brad’s name. “He said something about calling me next week. I’m not even sure I’ll go out with him.” Now why did she tell him that? Maybe because when he said the other man’s name, he did so with a frown. Unease about the entire evening started to seep into her bones.

Jack stepped back. “Well, good night.”

“Night, Jack.”

Closing the door, Jessie was grateful for the easy exit. No drama, no fuss.

Famous last words.

When she twisted the key in the ignition, the car groaned, then moaned, then gave up trying to start altogether. She twisted it again, but the car made only a clicking noise in response.

Oh boy. Just what she needed. Jack watched her through the windshield. Jessie threw her hands in the air and tried to start it again.

Nothing.

Frustrated, she opened the door and swung her feet out.

“I don’t get it; darn car wasn’t acting up on the way over here.”

“Pop the hood.”

“You know about cars?” Jessie leaned in and pulled the lever.

Jack opened the hood, but the dimly lit parking lot made viewing the engine minimally possible at best. Jack fiddled with a couple of things anyway. “Try again.”

Jessie did, but nothing changed. She pushed out of the car a second time and stood with Jack over the worn-out engine. “I hate this car. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.”

“How many miles are on it?” Jack asked as he stood and lowered the hood.

“Two hundred and some change.”

“Thousand?”

“It’s an old car, Jack.”

He shook his head. “Here, give me the keys.”

“Why?”

“I’ll look at it in the morning, when I can see what’s going on.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can have it towed. Have a mechanic check it out.”

Jack kept his hand out, palm up. “Save your money, let me see if I can fix it.”

Jessie vacillated over what she should do. “You’ve already done enough.”

“Jessie, darlin’, give me the keys.”

She handed them over. “If it isn’t simple, or it costs you money, I wanna pay for it.”

Jack surveyed his greasy hands.

Jessie opened the back door and pulled out a package of wipes she kept there for her son. “Here,” she said, pulling a couple wipes free and handing them to him.
     



Cleaning his hands, Jack thanked her. “Let’s get you home.”

“I can call my sister.”

“And wake up your son? Come on.” He grabbed her elbow and led her toward the front of the hotel. “A friend of mine borrowed my truck, so we’re going to have to use a different car to take you home.”

“You have a second car?”

“Not exactly.”

Jessie walked faster to keep up with Jack’s steps.

He stopped in front of the valet porter and smiled. “Hello, Wes.”

Wes stood a little taller at the mention of his name. His eyes swept back and forth between her and Jack.

“Hello, Mr.—”

“Jack,” he interrupted. “Mister is so formal.”

“Jack,” Wes said, his eyes continuing to shift almost as if he was nervous or something.

“Wes, it appears that one of the hotels guests is having a bit of difficulty with her car.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, miss.”

Jessie smiled and Jack continued to talk.

“Is there a car available?”

Wes took short steps as he walked up to his podium to check a book sitting on top of it. “There is, but Mr.…Jack, it seems we are short a driver tonight. The other two are taking other people home at this time. No telling when they’ll come back.”

“That’s fine. I can drive the lady home. Can you have one of your runners bring the car around?”

Wes’s head bobbed up and down, his cheeks rippling slightly as he did. “Right away, sir.”

Jessie grabbed Jack’s arm and led him back a few feet. “What are you doing?”

“Getting you home.”

“In a hotel car?”

“Relax, Jessie, we do this all the time.”

First the dress, then the party, now this? Jack was sure to get canned, and it would all be her fault.

A few seconds later, a limousine pulled up into the circular drive and a porter popped out of the driver’s seat. Wes opened the back door and extended his arm to Jessie.

Her feet wouldn’t budge. This couldn’t be the car Jack spoke of.

Jack pushed her forward. “Get in,” he whispered under his breath. “Act like you do this all the time.”

Jessie plastered a forced smile on her lips and quickly slid into the backseat of the stretch limo.

Bedded lighting roped around the doors and seats. Eight or nine people could easily fit into the space. A minibar sat below a flat-screen television; a moonroof displayed the stars twinkling above.

When the front door closed and Jack pushed a button, lowering the glass separating her space from his, Jessie hopped into the seat closer to him. “You know, Jack, you’re crazy.”

“Nice, isn’t it?”

“Nice? It’s amazing.”

Jack pulled out of the drive and into what traffic milled about this late on a Saturday night.

“You were a guest at the hotel, and The Morrison takes care of their guests.”

“I was an impostor, and you know it,” she scolded as she ran her hand along the soft leather interior with a sigh.

“Darlin’, there is nothing about you that’s fake. Nothing!”