Not After Everything

“How original,” I say.

She gives me the finger again, and turns up her music so loud, I can hear it leaking out of her earbuds.

There’s no point in saying another word because I know she won’t hear me. But my presence alone is enough to drive her crazy, and that works for me.

After I finish my sandwich, I head to the drinking fountain at the other end of the lobby. As I gulp the water, I glance back down the long space to see Jordyn still pouting with her back to where I was sitting. She doesn’t even know I’m not there anymore. I could leave and she’d probably still be pouting for another half hour because she’s too damn stubborn to simply turn and see that I’ve left. I can’t help but laugh.

Somehow she must’ve heard me, because she glares back at where I was, only to realize I’m no longer there. But she’s also finished eating and now she has to pass me to dispose of her trash. So, of course, I step in her way, forcing her to acknowledge me. She throws her trash straight at my head and says, “Fuck you!” loud enough for the few students in the hallway by the gym to turn toward us. She’s really left me no choice. I pull the cord of her earbuds and say, “No thanks,” before heading to the door.

I so badly want to turn and see her reaction, but it would ruin the moment. Better to just watch the people around me cracking up. But when I get to my car and think about those people laughing at her and how she was just complaining about our school’s social hierarchy and not having a place . . .

I bury the thought and get in.

? ? ?

Sheila’s waiting for me at the entrance to the parking lot after school.

I take her bag and head toward her car. I can feel her eyes on me for the entire walk. I can feel her willing me to apologize. And I can’t for the life of me remember what it is I’ve done.

“So . . . I’m sorry, Sheila,” I say as soon as we’re both settled in the car, hoping a blanket apology will suffice. After she still doesn’t speak, I finally make eye contact.

She raises her eyebrows. “For . . . ?”

I rack my brain. What the hell did I do? I honestly can’t remember. “For being an asshole?”

She grunts in frustration. “Jesus! You don’t even remember why I’m mad, do you?”

“Sheila, I have a lot on my plate at the moment.”

“You had time enough to chat up that goth freak.”

Oh, that’s right. She’s mad because she thinks I had lunch with Jordyn. “Really? You’re still mad about that?”

“Still? It just happened!”

“On Monday!” My voice is a little louder than it needs to be. I take a deep breath before continuing. “First of all, I don’t feel like I owe you an explanation and—”

“You don’t feel like you owe me an explanation? I’m your freaking girlfriend!”

“And second of all, I didn’t have lunch with the goth freak. I had lunch in her spot. She had lunch elsewhere.”

“Then why did I see you talking to her?”

“You saw her yelling at me. That does not qualify as a conversation.”

“Whatever.”

I stare at her, wondering if this is really how it ends.

“You know what? I can’t do this anymore. This is way too much work. I don’t think we actually even like each other anymore. I think we’re only still together because you don’t want to be the girl who dumped the guy with the dead mom. So now you don’t have to. I think this is it for us.” I offer her a halfhearted smile as I open the car door. “See you around, I guess.”

I’m parked two rows over, facing Sheila’s car, and I see her crying into her phone as I start the engine. I should probably feel bad as I watch her cry, but all I feel is free.

The only thing I’m regretting as I put the car in reverse is that I could’ve really used a good lay tonight. I should have waited to break up with her until after the makeup sex. But that would make me even more of a prick than I already am.

? ? ?

Dad’s not home. If he was going to come home after work, he’d already be here, so it looks like I’m free for the night.

Captain keeps looking at his leash, but I don’t feel like going for a run. And for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like being alone. I wonder what Dr. Dave will have to say about that tomorrow.

Too bad he’s my psychiatrist. I think he’d be cool to go hang out with.

Man, what’s wrong with me that I’m thinking about hanging out with my shrink socially?

I pull out my phone and scroll through my contacts. I guess I could see what Marcus is up to, but it probably involves Twelve, and there’s nothing lonelier than being a third wheel. That’s when I come across Ali Heart-over-the-i Hightower.

Why not? I send her a text:

Hey, it’s Tyler. Remember me from the photo shoot? Just wondering if you’re busy tonight?

My phone chimes almost immediately.

Of course I remember u!!! :) I can get out of my plans if u wanna hang.

I text her my address.

<3 I’m coming now . . . And maybe later? ;)

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