chapter 12
SHE SHOULD GET UP. She should do something. Instead she just lay there after Lars left, luxuriating in feeling so good.
The sheets, rumpled beneath her cheek and the rest of her body, bore his scent, while the air smelled like sex. And what sex! It had been intense, fun, naughty with people right outside the door...and incredibly satisfying.
She smiled into the pillow. This must be what a crack addict felt like. Because as good as it had been, she wanted it again. He was just a man, but what a man he was!
Lars had looked at her as if she was off her rocker when she thanked him, but he had no idea what he’d given her. She laughed and stretched, enjoying the soreness between her legs. While the back-to-back orgasms had been truly noteworthy and fantastic, he’d given her something better still. He’d helped her find something she hadn’t known she’d lost.
He’d restored her sexual sense of self. Heck, he hadn’t just restored it, he’d uncovered a depth to it unknown to her until now. It was as if her sexuality had roared back to life and was running rampant.
She was faintly horrified when she realized she’d just been intimate with lake water dried on her. She wasn’t germaphobic, but as a nurse she was cognizant of good hygiene. That roused her out of bed.
The original plan had been that she’d arrive on Friday afternoon and have the weekend to unpack and set up her cabin. But since she wouldn’t be in that cabin until later in the week, her day was wide open.
She knew firsthand that the other guests were out on a fishing trip. It was the perfect time and opportunity to relax in the claw-foot tub next door.
Twenty minutes later she was shoulder deep in fragrant water and bubbles. She closed her eyes and let the warm water work its magic on her recently used muscles.
She’d fantasized about Lars in this very room. She sighed and smiled. The man was so much better than the fantasy. She’d fully expected him to have other plans today, but apparently his only obligation was seeing his mother for breakfast and then saying his goodbyes to her. He’d said he’d be back and she would be ready and waiting.
* * *
GIVEN A CHOICE, Lars would prefer to detonate a field strewn with land mines than deal with his mother in this mood. And her mood was evident in her very stance. He had figured out early on how to read her body language. She was, as the saying went, loaded for bear.
She stood in the airstrip office, studying the wall of photographs behind the two old chess players. He paused for a moment at the bottom step, studying her, trying to see her differently than he’d always seen her—simply his mom.
As always, she stood ramrod straight. Even though she couldn’t have been more than five feet and a few inches, she was imposing. Her salt-and-pepper bob was immaculate as always. She wore a pair of black travel slacks and one of her signature shawls around her shoulders.
He knew that she knew he was watching her. But if there was any doubt, Dwight announced in his megaphone volume indicative of his deafness, “Your boy’s here.”
At thirty-two, with thirty-three fast approaching, it had been a long time since anyone had referred to him as a “boy.” It pulled a smile from him as he descended the last step.
She turned and peered at him over the top of her black-rimmed glasses.
“Good morning, Mother,” he said, his smile taking on a forced quality in the face of her censorious gaze.
“Lars.” She acknowledged him with an abbreviated nod. Apparently it wasn’t a good morning on her end.
His mom should try getting laid. It had done him a world of good.
“Ready for some breakfast?” he said.
“So, you’re up to suffering through another meal with me?”
Okay, so everyone had always put up with her shit. Hell, so had he, but he wasn’t known as the family rebel for nothing. It was the same feeling he’d had last night. Enough. She was his mother and he owed her a measure of respect, but he would not stand for her manipulations any longer.
“Here’s the deal, Mom. I’d like to have breakfast with you.” Satisfaction glimmered in her eyes. “I would not, however, like to listen to passive-aggressive comments for the next hour.”
Dead silence filled the room. Overhead a floorboard squeaked. Delphi.
“I will not tolerate you speaking to me that way.” The indignation in her eyes and her ice-cold tone underscored her words.
He was infinitely weary of what felt like a battle that had been going on his entire life. “Let’s just try to have breakfast together without hostility and hurt feelings, Mom.”
“I simply made a statement.”
Bull had warned him last night not to expect anything different. That assessment was spot-on. So Lars had two choices. He could go to breakfast with her and endure an hour of this bullshit or tell her goodbye now and skip the sixty minutes of misery.
As a kid, there’d been no option. Even as an adult, up to now, he hadn’t seen the latter as an alternative. It was as if the conversation with Delphi had unlocked something inside him.
“I love you, Mom. Have a safe trip back and take care of yourself.”
“You’re...you mean...you’re not going to breakfast?” She was totally flummoxed, but then why wouldn’t she be? After thirty-two years Lars had just changed the tapes.
He shook his head. “I’m not.”
“I’m sorry you seem to think I always say the wrong thing.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that. This time, however, he heard it with fresh ears. Even her “apology” put him at fault. His mom was one unhappy human being.
It was time to put his exit strategy into play because the next move would be her lapse into pathos. When disdainful outrage didn’t work, she fell back into histrionics and physical malady.
“And I’m sorry you feel that way.” He grabbed her and gave her a quick, tight hug. He couldn’t say he liked her, but she was his mom and he did love her. He took a step back. “Be safe.”
He was halfway across the room when she called out to him.
“Where are you going?” She sounded so bewildered, he almost relented, but if he did, she’d just pick up where she’d left off.
“It’s a nice morning for a walk.” His mom would make a scene in here, but she wouldn’t follow him down the street. If he went back upstairs, she’d follow him and bad would just turn to worse. “Love you, Mom.” He couldn’t in good conscience tell her it’d been nice to see her.
He walked out the front door. His leaving wasn’t a turn-tail-and-run move. It was more of a strategic retreat, a decision not to return enemy fire. He wasn’t getting into a firefight.
The mild sun on his face felt great as he walked down the sidewalk. Not allowing his mom to bully him felt even better.
His cousin materialized out of seemingly nowhere. But then again, Lars had been so consumed in his thoughts he could’ve stepped on top of Dirk and not known it.
“Hey, Big D. How’s it going?”
“She’s coming.”
What the hell? Lars whipped his head around to look over his shoulder. His mother wasn’t back there. “Mom’s not back there.”
“Why would she be?” Dirk looked at him as if he’d lost it. “I thought she was leaving today.”
They walked on.
“She is.”
“Oh, okay. Then why’d you bring her up?”
“Never mind,” Lars said. “Let’s start this all over. Who’s coming?”
“Natalie.”
Right. Okay. They’d talked about her on Friday night. “Cool. That’s great. Way to go, Big D. When’s she coming?”
“I’m not sure yet.” The familiarity of the look on Dirk’s face slammed Lars in the gut. Lars had seen his share of men die, and there was a look in their eyes, a look of inevitability, of resignation, of giving up the fight. Dirk wore the same look. What in the hell was going on with his cousin?
They’d run out of sidewalk. A group of kids, plus a couple of dogs, were playing dodgeball in the sandy lot to the left. Lars propped against a tree. Dirk shoved his hands deep in his pockets and looked around. Lars suddenly realized Dirk hadn’t just happened to run into him. He’d been waiting outside for him.
“What gives?” Dirk apparently needed to get something off of his chest.
Dirk shuffled from one foot to the other. “I shouldn’t have asked her. I shouldn’t have ever looked her up.” The look of self-loathing on Dirk’s face shocked Lars. “I’m not good enough for her. I—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s this all about, Dirk? So you’re not Liam? That’s a damn good thing. You’re a great guy, a hard worker. What the hell do you mean you’re not good enough for her?” He quickly ran back through their conversation. Dirk had never gotten too caught up with women. But he was definitely straight. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be miserable over Natalie in the first place. That left only one other option he could think of. “You know, if you’ve got a problem getting worked up, a doctor can prescribe something.”
Dirk turned beet-red and for a second Lars didn’t know if Dirk was going to punch him or cry—either one would suck. “I get it up. What the hell?”
“Exactly, what the hell? If you’re not into guys and you can get it up, why are you acting so crazy?” Well, that was a thought. Maybe mental issues ran in the family—his mom was certainly a head case. “Hell, I’m sure there’s medicine for whatever’s ailing you. You can take a pill for just about anything these days.”
“Yeah?” Dirk looked as if he wanted to hit something. “Do they make a pill for stupid?”
Dirk wasn’t going to be recruited for the space program but he wasn’t stupid either. “You’re not stupid. Why would you say that?”
Dirk’s face took on a mulish expression and Lars sucked in a deep breath and prayed for some patience. Dirk got that expression when he was digging in his heels on something.
Lars’s morning had gotten off to such a damned good start. He’d woken up to explosively fantastic sex with a great woman. It was a beautiful sunny day and no one was likely to get blown up or killed here. What could go wrong? But the day seemed to be steadily going downhill.
“Look, D. I’m not your mama and I’m not your shrink. If you want to talk, then talk. But you’ve got to tell me what you’re dealing with or just shut the hell up. So what’s it gonna be?”
For what felt like a full minute, Dirk glared at him, obviously mulling it over.
“I can’t...” The last bit was an indecipherable mumble.
“You can’t what? Dammit, talk man.”
“I can’t read so good.”
“So?” Was it just the day for family drama? “I sucked at history. That’s not a big deal.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” Dirk turned to leave. It was the echo of hopeless resignation on his cousin’s face that led Lars to reach out and stop him.
“Hold on. Rewind here. Just how bad is your reading?”
Dirk tried to shake Lars’s hand off. “Forget I mentioned it. It’s no big deal.”
It was obviously a huge deal and Lars felt like an ass. “If it bothers you, it’s a big deal.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.”
The very fact that he had said something meant that Lars shouldn’t have blown him off. “It’s definitely a problem, but not one that can’t be overcome.”
“Oh, yeah? I had teachers shoving shit in my face for twelve years and I just don’t get it. Sometimes the words get all tangled.”
“That sucks. But something can be done about it. You’re obviously not stupid. How do you do your job with Liam? Don’t you have to keep supply lists and inventories and stuff?”
“Yeah. I can count.” Lars figured Dirk was entitled to that bit of sarcasm. He shrugged. “I memorize the list and recognize the words from going over them with Liam and Tansy.”
“Do they know?”
“No one knows.” He looked at the ground and then looked up at Lars. The pain in his eyes reminded Lars of a wounded animal. “Look at me. I’m huge. People already think I’m dumb as an ox. What woman wants a dumb man?”
Lars threw a thought out. “Is that why you change jobs and move locations?”
“Pretty much.” Another shrug. “You keep moving and it doesn’t catch up with you. But if you stay in one place too long with the same people, sooner or later someone’s bound to figure it out.”
Lars floundered, totally out of his realm. Jesus, Dirk’s mom had been an English teacher. “Okay, look, we’ll figure this out. I don’t know jack about this, but I know someone who would. Let’s talk to Merrilee.”
“She’s nice. She helped me write the note to Natalie after the reception.”
“Look, Dirk, I can guarantee she can help. How about we go together to see her. Or would you rather talk to her alone?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Dirk’s shrug said otherwise. “You’ve probably got stuff to do.”
Lars said, “Look, my day’s wide open. Let’s give my mom time to get on that plane and then we’ll sit down with Merrilee and put together a plan of attack.”
“Okay.” Some of the tension eased from Dirk’s face. “But we’ll definitely wait until Aunt Jane rolls on out. Your mom is tough.”
“Tell me about it. We can hang out here, until the plane lifts off, and then we’ll track Merrilee down.” Lars figured it had taken a lot of courage for Dirk to bring up the subject to him in the first place—he didn’t want his cousin to back out before they did something about it.
“Sounds good to me. Thanks for taking the time to help me out. You know, I already feel better.”
“No problem. That’s what family is for, right? You’re going to be fine.”
He and Dirk hung out talking about football and dissecting the last Super Bowl and how it could’ve been different. More than a couple of townies stopped by to chat and tell Lars what a great guy Liam was and how awesome Tansy was and what an outstanding couple they were. It made him proud. Liam was a good man and Lars was damn happy his brother had found a good woman to share his life with. Oddly enough, Liam’s marriage gig was beginning to make some kind of sense to him.
Eventually, the little bush plane rose into the sky.
“The coast is clear,” Dirk said.
“Let’s go find Merrilee.”
“We could just do it Monday or wait until we get back from the camp.”
“Well, that’d work, except you’re not coming back to Good Riddance. Nice try, though, D.” Lars stood and held out his hand to pull Dirk to his feet. “Now, get off your ass and let’s go get this thing done.”
Dirk lumbered to his feet and they headed toward the airstrip office.
And speaking of good women...sooner or later he’d get back to Delphi.