Not this time.
Clenching the cotton of his shirt I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth as he took in a sharp, quick breath. In one movement his mouth was open and our tongues were working together as feverishly as my hands worked to undress him. Gregory shifted up the bed and grabbed onto my hips as I straddled him, pulling off my shirt as he looked on approvingly.
Leaning forward with my hands on the bed, I let my hair skim across his chest and shoulders.
“I’d do anything for you, too, Gregory,” I whispered as I brushed my lips along his jawline. “Absolutely anything.”
Gregory
Savannah’s cheek rested on the hot skin of my chest, her warm breath circling my skin and making me feel like I was home. With one arm tucked under my head, I let the fingers on my other hand trail through her hair and down her back. Her hair had grown several more inches in the years since I’d last seen her. Lying here now, her blonde waves were scattered across my chest and over her shoulders, damp with the sweat we’d just worked up. She’d been quiet for almost two minutes before I spoke.
“Hey.” I kissed the top of her head as she lifted it to look at me. “I need some water. Do you want some?”
She nodded as she lifted her head and shoulders so I could unwrap myself from her. I hated doing that. Everything was colder when I wasn’t touching her. I quickly pulled two bottles of water from the mini-fridge and slid back into bed.
“Thanks,” she whispered, opening the bottle and taking a sip before screwing the cap back on and setting it on the bed next to her.
Sitting with my back against the headboard, I opened my arm so she could curl up against me again. As she lowered her head to my shoulder, she let out a slow sigh.
“You okay?”
She nodded, but didn’t look up. I’d have believed her if I didn’t feel the slight shrug of her shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” I pressed.
Still silent, she shook her head. I didn’t want to push, but I knew she had a lot of things that she needed to talk about. I wished she had told me about her parents’ divorce, and the look on her face when she told me why she felt she couldn’t say anything to me was devastating. She deserved better.
“Nathan knows something’s going on with me,” she finally blurted out. My muscles tensed as I tried to decipher what she meant by something. She must have felt it, because she continued speaking. “Not about us, I don’t think. But, something. He thought it was about the article. He knew about my parents’ divorce, and my mother’s relationship with Malcolm ... and he thought that the stuff about my admission to the conservatory was what was making me distant from everyone.”
Flames of irritation rushed over me at the thought that she’d confided in Nathan Connors. I was well aware they’d known each other for years. But I still hated that she felt I couldn’t provide an emotional shelter for her. I knew realistically that I couldn’t, but that didn’t stop the pain of pushing my pride aside as she kissed my neck once.
“Have you been distant?”
“I guess. I just … don’t want to waste any time with you.” Her voice was uncomfortably distant.
I pulled my eyebrows together and looked back over the last couple of weeks. Savannah and I spent so much time together rehearsing, and even our spare time was spent in whoever’s room was lacking a roommate, that I hadn’t taken a step back to look at her other relationships. Everyone knew how I was. I didn’t spend a lot of time socializing, especially on the road. Travel exhausted me, and I was often shuffling between practicing and sleeping. But Savannah was significantly more social than me, and I quickly calculated that she was spending nearly all of her free time with me.
“I don’t want you to pull away from your friends, Savannah.”
“I’m not pulling away, but there’s a big chunk of my life that I can’t talk to them about … I think I need to talk about us with someone. Just … to process what’s going on. I won’t broadcast it, but—”
“Anyone but Nathan,” I spit out without regard to the delicacy of my tone.
Savannah sat up and pulled back slightly, looking me in the eyes. “What?”
“I get that this is a really emotional and conflicting situation, Savannah, I really do. And I appreciate the need you have to talk to a friend, but … anyone but Nathan.”
“Gregory … I …” She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.
My pulse kicked up, but not the way it did when her legs were wrapped around me. “Were you considering telling him about us? The boy detests me, Savannah, and I can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual. He’d take great pleasure in ruining my reputation.”
Savannah bit her lip as her face melted in what looked like disappointment. She cleared her throat. “This isn’t about you, Gregory. He’s my friend and wouldn’t do that to me. But, I get it. I don’t want to … cause a problem. That’s why I haven’t said anything.”
Relieved, I sat back and held out my arm, seeking the comfort of her skin against mine. “Thank you,” I said as she moved into my side.
“I said I’d do anything for you, Gregory. I meant that.” Her muscles stayed tense as she draped her arm across my torso.
I’d told her earlier that I’d do anything for her. As we sat in the quiet hotel room, surrounded by rough cotton sheets, I added up the cost of anything. As Savannah’s breathing evened out and she fell asleep against my shoulder, the cost mattered less and her heart mattered more.
I ran a hand down my face, stopping briefly to pinch the bridge of my nose. The thought of parting ways with Savannah at the end of the tour was absurd. And painful. But it was reality. Anything ended as soon as that hotel door opened and we were on stage. Anything would slip away when I got home and faced my wife.