“It took only a second and I got it. I was consumed by the song, the notes, the scene. It was like a drug that was instantly addicting. I’ve always loved performing and playing, you know that. But, in that moment, playing with a world-class musician and playing a song I’ve spent months working on … I wanted that and absolutely nothing else. And, it scared me.”
“Look, Savannah,” Nathan sighed again, and I could picture him raking his long fingers through his disorganized curls, “I know that you’ve struggled off and on with performing as a career. You’ve never said it, but we’ve talked enough about your family life for me to … get it. But, I don’t think what happened with Gregory scared you about playing professionally.”
“What was it then?”
Nathan’s tone turned dark, and I could tell he was speaking through clenched teeth, though he didn’t sound angry. He repeated the same words from our earlier argument. His words that made no sense, but made too much sense. “You’re in love with him, Savannah.”
I thought back to standing next to Gregory as we played, and one by one the faculty disappeared from my view until all I saw was him and the notes. And all I heard was the beating of my heart.
“I know,” I whispered, covering my mouth to silence the clamor of my tears.
I knew.
I was in love with him.
And it was a horrible mistake.
Savannah
Take a deep breath, Savannah. It’s just a bar.
Smoothing down the front of my favorite red dress, I knew damn well it wasn’t just a bar. I’d made it through the second week of orchestra camp at the Tanglewood Institute, and the staff was gathering at Magnolia’s for end of the summer drinks and dancing. He was going to be there.
Overwhelmed by the time we played together during the instructors’ ensemble, and my admission to Nathan on the phone several days later, I’d done my best to avoid Gregory Fitzgerald.
I loved him.
Not only had I kissed him, but I was falling in love with him, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
If anything.
I hadn’t spoken to Nathan since that phone call. He seemed tense over the fact that I admitted my feelings for Gregory. He said while he saw I was in love with him, he didn’t understand why. We never spoke to each other outside of the classroom, he said. And, when we did speak, he was certain to remind me, our interactions were less than cordial. No hearts. No flowers.
I never did tell him about the kiss.
There wasn’t anything tangible about Gregory Fitzgerald that screamed for me to be in love with him. It was all beneath the surface. I felt a pull toward him since the first time he played for us on our first day of music theory. My first perceptions of him—since the day he offhandedly dismissed me from the stage at my audition—was all wrong. At least, I hoped it was wrong.
The passion and intensity behind our kiss shattered that first impression.
I’d told Madeline I needed to walk to the bar alone to gather my thoughts. And steel my nerves. It was absurd, really. I wasn’t his student anymore, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t feel something when we played that piece together, too. I know he felt something. I intended to figure out exactly what that was.
I was here. Magnolia’s.
One more deep breath.
Clearing my throat and rolling my shoulders back, I opened the door and was greeted by nerve-calming dance music. Heavy beats graciously drowned out the sound of my heart.
“Savannah, over here!” Madeline flagged me down the second I walked in. She and James were sitting next to each other, but turned in so their knees were touching.
A second later, I spotted Gregory sitting on the other side of James. Always in black. It looked different this time, though. I knew how his arms looked as they drew music from his cello. How his muscles flexed. He had a suit coat on over what I was certain was a t-shirt, and I rolled my eyes as I smiled and walked toward the trio.
“You okay, sweetie? You seemed stressed earlier.” Madeline playfully tugged the skirt of my dress and I noticed Gregory’s eyes flicker to my legs.
“I’m fine. I just needed some fresh air, so I walked.”
He was still looking at my legs. I softly bit a grin away from my lips.
James leaned his back against the bar. “Well, Savannah, I must say, you’ve thoroughly impressed not only the staff here this summer, but the parents and students, too.”
“Thank you, James. I had a great time.”
Gregory broke his standard pensive silence. And his study of my calves. “Can I get you something to drink, Savannah?”
I let out a surprised giggle, and James and Madeline looked askance at both of us. His face twisted up a bit as we all stared at him.
“What?” He held out his hands. “She’s been here for two minutes and no one’s offered her a drink. I figured one of us should be polite.”
Something behind his eyes looked less than polite and innocent. Rather than make me nervous, confidence took over.
I arched an eyebrow as I answered. “Tequila.”
“Tequila?” He questioned with a sour look on his face.
“Yes. A shot. Please.” I grinned and watched his eyes land on my mouth. It made my heart tick up a few beats.
“Make it four!” James playfully slapped the bar and raised his eyebrows as Madeline giggled.
“Four?” Gregory questioned.
“One for all of us, Gregory. Come on.” Madeline batted her eyelashes mockingly. I loved watching the three of them in action, as if no time had passed from their days as students at the conservatory.
The bartender leaned into Gregory, who held up three fingers while making a displeased face.
“Spoil sport,” Madeline snorted as three shot glasses were set on the bar in front of us.
“Drink that bathwater, if you must. I’ll stick to my gin, thank you.”
Despite myself, I let out a loud laugh.
“Something funny?” Gregory lifted an eyebrow at me.
“You’re just …” I trailed off as the tequila was poured and I clinked glasses with Madeline and James as Gregory rolled his eyes. As the tequila warmed my throat, my resolve followed suit.
“You were saying, Savannah?” Gregory challenged as Madeline and James ordered another shot for themselves. “I’m just?”
“Dance with me.” I ignored the pointed stares from James and Madeline.
“Dance with you?”