He hated the bitterness that rose in him at the thought, the desperate desire to stop her from being with another. From loving anyone but him.
But he could not give her what she wished—even if he had a title . . . he could not promise her a future. Not one without fear.
And he would not wish that on this woman whom he loved so much.
If all went well, she would be returned to Society without a care in the world, without the shadows of her past looming, without the threat of a future without security. If his plan worked, she would be married within two weeks.
Two weeks.
The words echoed through him, the little agreement they’d made what felt like a lifetime ago. They were intelligent people. They should have known that their lives were too complicated for even two weeks of simplicity. Not that he would ever dream of calling their time together simple.
She was the most complex woman he’d ever known.
And he adored her for it.
And tonight, he would show her that, one last time—stealing one final moment with her to help her find happiness, whatever that might be.
But first, he would tell her his truths.
He heard her before he saw her—the rustling of her skirts like cannonfire in the darkness as she approached. He turned toward her, loving the way she was silhouetted by the ballroom behind. The light cast a pale golden glow over her white gown, cut dangerously, decadently low, revealing the swell of her breasts, and making him want to steal her away from this place, forever.
She stopped several feet from him, and he hated the distance between them. He stepped toward her, hoping to close it, but she stepped back. She lifted a gloved hand and brandished a small ecru square. “You left me yesterday,” she said, and the pout in her voice made him want her even more. “You cannot simply decide to summon me out of a ballroom into a dark garden.”
He watched her carefully. “It seems to have worked.”
She scowled. “It shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t be here. Our arrangement was supposed to bolster my reputation. This threatens to do the opposite.”
“I would never allow that.”
She met his gaze. “I wish I could believe that.”
He stilled, not liking the words. “What does that mean?”
She sighed. Looked away, then back. “You left me,” she said, the words small and soft and devastating. “You walked away.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me the truth.” He thought she laughed at that, but he couldn’t be sure—the gardens were too dark and he could not see her eyes. “And then I realized that you cannot trust me blindly. That you have been devastated before. You keep your secrets to keep her safe. You keep his secrets to keep her safe.” He paused. “I won’t ask you for them anymore.”
She came to him then, stepping forward, and he was overcome by the nearness of her . . . the smell of her . . . vanilla and cream. He wanted to pull her toward him and make her his here, in the darkness. For what might be the last time.
He wanted his two weeks.
He wanted his lifetime.
But he could not have those things, so instead, he would settle on this night.
“Why don’t you know how to dance?” she asked.
The question came from nowhere, and it shocked the hell out of him. He would have expected a question—something about his own secrets. His own past. Something about Tremley. About Cynthia. But he had not expected such a simple query. Such an all-encompassing one.
He should have, of course.
He should have expected her to ask the most important question first.
Of course, he answered it, his discomfort with the subject matter—with all the bits and pieces of his life that somehow were connected to it—making him more hesitant than usual. He started simply. “No one ever taught me to dance.”
She shook her head. “Everyone learns to dance. Even if you never learn the quadrille or the waltz or any of the dances they dance in there”—she waved at the house—“someone dances with you.”
He thought back. Tried again. “My mother danced with my father.”
She did not speak, letting him tell his story. Letting him find his way. It was a memory long forgotten, dredged from some dark corner where he’d sent it to die. “My father died when I was four, so it is a surprise I even remember it.” He paused. “Perhaps I don’t remember it. Perhaps it’s a dream, not a memory.”
“Tell me,” she said.
“We lived in a cottage on a large estate as tenant farmers. My father was large and ruddy-cheeked. He used to lift me in the air as though I were featherlight.” He paused. “I suppose I was to him.” He shook his head. “I remember him by the fire in the cottage, twirling my mother around and around.” He looked to her. “It wasn’t dancing.”
She watched him carefully. “Were they happy?”
He struggled to remember their faces, but he could remember the smiles. The laughter. “In that moment, I think they were.”
She nodded, reaching out for him, sliding her hand into his. “Then it was dancing.”