Gretchen was going to be hurt, and angry. She might never talk to him again. The thought brought a panic in Dave’s chest that made him want to get up that instant, shake Julia awake, as if leaving could undo it all. But he’d been hoping for exactly this to happen for so long that it was impossible to walk away from it. “Julia,” he said softly, not knowing what else there was to say.
She stirred, but only pressed herself closer against him, planting a kiss on his chest before resuming her rhythmic breathing. A seagull suddenly appeared near them, stepping cautiously toward him. It peered at Dave suspiciously, its eyes little black marbles that saw him only as a threat. Dave nodded, as if to confirm that he dealt out harm all the time. The sun climbed higher through the fog. The seagull made away with the marshmallow. Emptied out by guilt, the shame rising from his stomach and exuding through his pores, Dave let Julia sleep a little longer, delaying what was to come for as long as he could.
RIDICULOUS
THE ONLY WORD Julia could use to describe herself when she woke up was ridiculous. It was ridiculous to wake up feeling so happy. She was like the cartoon of someone in love. Any second now animated bluebirds were going to land on her shoulder and start harmonizing. She felt like a Jack White guitar riff.
She kissed Dave again as soon as she woke up, laughed at how much sand there was everywhere. Sitting up, she looked around at the detritus of their little picnic: the half-empty jug of tea on its side as if it had passed out, the pile of ash in the fire pit, their clothes surrounding the towel like a blast radius. There were bird tracks in the sand, and Julia, amused, pictured those animated bluebirds singing around the two of them as they slept. The sun was already burning the fog away, and by the time they would get back to San Luis Obispo, it would probably be a perfectly clear day, the sky a deep shade of blue. Ridiculous.
Dave was quiet as they picked up the mess they had made and got dressed. Julia figured he was worried about getting caught by the cops, worried about getting to school on time, which there was no way they were going to do. It was his nature, and she tried taking his mind off those small worries by joking around. “By the way, there’s a video of you running naked into the ocean all over the Internet now.”
“Liar,” Dave said, kicking sand into the fire pit, bending over to grab the cap for the jug of tea.
“I was very sneaky about it. Don’t get me wrong, I felt awful doing it and e-mailing it to the entire school but it is explicitly mentioned in the Nevers, so I figured recording the event was kind of a must. I probably shouldn’t have added your grandparents to the e-mail, though.”
Dave chuckled, then picked up the towel and whipped the sand off it a few times before draping it over his arm. “Ready to go?”
“You mean we have to go back? I thought we might stay here for a few more days. Live off the land. Grow beards.” Dave was not laughing nearly as much as he should have been. This was golden material. “We could have really beardy sex. That’d be hot. Actually, can you even grow a beard? You can be honest. I’ll still be attracted to you. I would just prefer to know if I’ll be the more bearded one in our relationship. For logistics.”
Dave didn’t respond, and there was a brief flutter in her stomach, like something was wrong, though what could possibly be wrong? She went up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing herself to his back. “You know the joking around isn’t all I’m feeling, right?”
His arms went over hers and he gave her hand a squeeze. “I know.”
“Good.” She kissed him through his shirt, sincerely hoping they might not leave at all. “You wanna, like, talk about it? Us...you know...sleeping together. And how we’re feeling about that?” She burrowed her nose into his back, thrilled and a little weirded out by what she’d just said.