They stood at opposite sides of the car, looking out in the direction of the mall. The band kids were quiet, too, used to remaining silent until their cue. For a long time, Julia could only see the lights of the mall, the faint green of trees that lined the road to it from the harbor. She could hear the ocean, and the sound of cars on the highway. Her knuckles hurt from how hard she was gripping the bucket, and for a second she closed her eyes and wished for this whole thing to fail, for Gretchen to admit that she was not interested in Dave in the least, that she’d been faking it, just like Julia and Dave had faked their way through most of the Nevers.
Then Dave and Gretchen stepped out from the shadows, smiles plastered on both of their faces. Julia turned and motioned for the orchestra to begin playing. Even Julia couldn’t help but smile as the couple came closer. She could see exactly when Gretchen read the writing on Julia’s car, and she hoped that the happiness in her eyes was real, because that’s what Dave deserved.
“Ha!” Gretchen cried out, beaming at the sound of the string section getting louder. “Guns N’ Roses!” She turned to face Dave and threw her arms around his neck. “You are insane. A crazy rose serenading me with clichés.”
“I had help.” Dave shrugged, glancing at Julia, tearing her heart apart just like that, then wrapping his arms around Gretchen’s waist. “Is that a yes?”
“I would have said yes at the first rose.”
As the music crescendoed, Julia threw fistfuls of shredded rose petals into the air, using the shower of red and white as an excuse to avert her eyes. This was how she could love Dave. From exactly this distance. Within sight but apart. Cheering him on, providing whatever happiness she could provide for him. As his best friend.
ROAD TRIPPOSAL
HOMEROOM, AS USUAL, was more or less a shit show. Ms. Romero was checking her Facebook when Julia walked in with her tardy slip in hand. Dave was on his feet with a smile on his face, chatting with Jenny Owens and that guy that always smelled like cheese. Julia waved and kept her earbuds in, but Dave still sidestepped backpacks and chairs to come over and give her a wordless high five before returning to whatever conversation he was having.
Julia laid her head on her desk, trying to sleep but mostly watching Dave. She hadn’t managed to fall asleep the night before. At first it’d been the adrenaline of executing the plan so well. But even after her eyelids felt swollen with tiredness, her mind was a flurry of thoughts. Nothing too obvious like being heartbroken. More like a bunch of little things, debris caught in a tree after a storm. What her mom was like in high school, whether she would have done something as cliché as love her best friend silently, whether she was finally going to come. Whether anyone would ever know about all the Nevers, or if in a few months her college friends would have no idea that this period of her life had ever existed. She wondered if there was some sort of expiration date to her friendship with Dave as she knew it, if it was possible that it had already passed.
The bell rang out and everyone gathered their belongings and took their conversations to the hallways, where girls were taking selfies and a couple of jock types were throwing granola bars at each other, picking them up only to reload and shoot again. When the game lost its fun, they left the crumbled remains on the ground like spent ammunition. Julia followed Dave and they wordlessly tossed the mess in the trash. Then they went to his locker, where he replaced one of the binders in his backpack with a different binder that was hidden under piles of loose-leaf paper.
“Hey, I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“Thanks for softening the blow by announcing that a surprise will be coming.”
“Why do I even talk to you in the mornings?”
“Because despite your new position as the center of attention, you still crave the intimacy of someone who really gets you, and only I fill that role?”
“Deep.”
Julia laid her head against the row of lockers. “These should be lined with pillows.”
Dave rummaged through his binder, flipping through plastic folders and dividers covered in pencil-scratched band names and lyrics. After what felt like a long time, he pulled out a sheet of paper, handing it to her.
“What’s this?”