Never Always Sometimes

“Spend money, you mean.”

 

 

“I can’t tell if you guys are kidding,” Gretchen said. “You’ve seriously never hung out at the mall? You’re going to get your teenager licenses revoked.”

 

“I don’t think we were ever issued any,” Dave said. “We’re eighteen and going on sixty-five.”

 

“Look, having better taste than most people our age doesn’t excuse you from missing out on a major part of adolescence.”

 

“Wasting time in a symbol of capitalism is a major part of adolescence?”

 

“You’re goddamn right,” Gretchen said, her voice giving away her desire to laugh, and damn if Julia didn’t find that charming. Julia suddenly felt nauseous. Gretchen stood up, pulling out a set of car keys from the pocket of her jeans. “Come on, I’ll drive. We’re going to the mall.”

 

“I feel like she’s not going to let this go,” Julia said, getting up and standing by Gretchen. They were similarly built, Julia noticed. Almost the exact same height, though Julia wasn’t wearing shoes, and Gretchen’s hair gave her an extra quarter inch. Julia had no idea why that would matter, why she would suddenly start measuring herself against this girl who was nothing like her. “You and I are rebels. We should rebel against capitalism by defacing it with the refusal to spend money. Plus, it wasn’t on the list, but it may as well have been. We’re looking for ordinary high school experiences, and if Gretchen says this one’s worth doing, well then, let’s give it a shot.”

 

“Thank you, Julia,” Gretchen said, and Julia watched as she reached over and grabbed Dave by the wrist, pulling him up to his feet, her fingers lingering on his skin like they were used to touching him, like they belonged on him.

 

o o o

 

On the drive to the mall, Julia discovered backseats are a kind of hell when you are there on your own. She’d sat behind Gretchen, giving her a clear view of Dave and how often he looked toward the driver’s side. She could barely hear the conversation, and had to stick her face in between theirs to not feel like she was on a deserted island.

 

“I have to hand it to you, Gretchen,” Julia said at the first opportunity she could. “You are rocking this minivan so well that I can’t tell if you’re doing it ironically or not.”

 

“Oh, you mean Vantastic? No irony here; I love this thing. It’s been in the family for about twenty years. I couldn’t wait to drive it, even though half the time I’m in it I am actively fearing death.”

 

Dave glanced over his shoulder at Julia, giving her a smile that she understood immediately: Isn’t she so much more than you thought? Julia stuck her tongue out at Dave, the move feeling too middle school even as she did it, like a girl desperate to be cute.

 

When they walked in through the glass doors of the mall, Julia instinctively cringed. “Dave, tell Gretchen what the look on my face means.”

 

“She’s going to throw up.”

 

“You guys are ridiculous.”

 

They were walking in the direction of the food court, the three of them in a row, Dave in the middle. Julia spotted the kid who’d fallen asleep on her couch after the party, but he was a bit too far away to yell at.

 

“So,” Dave said, “how, exactly, does one mall-rat?”

 

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