Never Always Sometimes

“Oops. Dad’s not going to be a fan of that.”

 

 

As the bleach began to do its thing, whatever it was bleach actually did to lighten hair, they swapped spots. Dave draped a towel over Julia’s shoulders and she undid her ponytail, her hair a light brown cascade that brushed against his fingers. “Have we sufficiently researched this process?”

 

“Depends on what you mean by ‘sufficiently.’”

 

“Um.”

 

“It might not look like a professional dye job but I won’t get us killed.”

 

“I guess that’s reassuring?” Dave said, making sure the question mark was understood. After the bleach had magically transformed them into blondes—Julia pulling off the look much better than Dave ever could, though he admitted he was biased—Dave took a seat in the chair and watched a slightly different version of his best friend pour out the dye into a little container provided in the kit.

 

“This stuff smells great,” Dave said.

 

“Don’t you dare get high off the fumes. Sit still,” she said, straightening his head and focusing on the dye job.

 

It didn’t take her long to finish, since Dave didn’t have all that much hair. The instructions said to let it sit for at least twenty-five minutes, though the Internet suggested much longer, so while they waited for his hair to really grab hold of the green, they changed spots again. He tested the dye against her arm, then mixed the two liquids together as she had. He shook the bottle, careful not to spill. When he took his finger off the top, though, a single pink drop that clung to his gloved hand dripped off and landed right in the middle of Debbie’s forehead.

 

“That’s what she gets for being so in love with you,” Julia said, looking down at her cat rubbing her side against Dave’s leg, unaware of the splotchy dye job she was receiving.

 

Dave squeezed out the dye onto his fingers, and for the next twenty minutes he became lost in the task. He worked slowly, not because he wanted to stretch out the time, but because it was Julia’s hair, and everything to do with Julia he did with care. When he was done, he decided to wait with Julia, so that they would rinse the dye off at the same time. They tried to wipe Debbie clean, but she kept moving around and the drops of pink and green she’d absorbed spread across her fur.

 

“She looks like a tie-dyed shirt gone wrong,” Julia said.

 

“That doesn’t bode well for our hair.”

 

Julia sat on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror, leaning in to examine the pink stains by her hairline. “The genius in this is that if it turns out shitty it’s even more of a cliché.”

 

“That’ll be a comfort when everyone’s laughing at us.”

 

“Look at you worrying about what others think. Way to get into the spirit.” She smiled, then gave him a friendly tap with her foot. “I think that’s long enough. Time for the big reveal.” She hopped off the counter and turned on her shower, grabbing the removable head and waiting for the water to warm up a bit.

 

They helped each other rinse the excess dye from their hair, which resulted in more dye getting all over the bathroom. “It looks like a couple of cartoon animals were blown up in here,” Dave said.

 

They turned to face each other, and when Julia asked how her hair had turned out he had to swallow down the word sexy. “It looks pretty good,” he said. “How’s mine?”

 

She cast her eyes up at his hairline and bit her bottom lip. “I couldn’t have hoped for better,” she said, then laughed. “Maybe you should just look for yourself.” She moved aside to let him step in front of the mirror.

 

“My God.”

 

“I think the lighting in here is bad,” Julia said, suppressing another laugh.

 

“Julia, it looks like someone vomited on my head.”

 

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