Need You Now (Love in Unknown)

chapter 9





Mel came very close to dozing in Caine’s ridiculously amazing bathtub. The lavender fragrance of the bubbles lulled her into a blissfully drowsy state and the bubbly pink champagne gave her a pleasant buzz. Muscles she didn’t even know were tense started to relax. Even the effort to get out of the tub sounded like it would be too much for her. She could live in this tub.

At the back of her mind, though, questions tugged through her sluggish thoughts. The biggest question was why was she here? She needed to be moving forward, not back. Every relationship she’d been in had taken a piece of her away. Those first weeks of summer after her freshmen year at Brown were seared into her brain. She’d never been so miserable in her life. Trusting a man who’d already done damage in the past was hard. But she knew after that night at her apartment, whatever her reasonable, practical side told her, she still wanted Caine.

Still…Desire didn’t make the pain go away.

Eventually, the scents of food began to mix with the bubbles, and her stomach started to rumble. With a moan, she lifted herself out of the edge of the tub, blowing out the candles before standing up. Of course, the towels were fluffy, but blue rather than the standard bachelor white. The tiles beneath her feet were toasty warm instead of freezing. Big surprise. Wrapped in one of the towels, she went over to the bag. Unmarked, the pretty blue bag held several tissue-wrapped items.

Intrigued, Mel pulled each package out before opening them. There were pajamas made from lighter-than-air, sunshine yellow cotton, the classic kind with a button-up top and drawstring pants. A silky slip nightgown of the same color. And underwear. Really fabulous underwear, all lace and silk in several different shades.

She bit her lip, staring at the clothing. Technically speaking, this was so not the type of thing a friend would buy another friend. Unless, one of those friends was a Maddox. Her mind went back to the night Caine came to her apartment. The relaxed nerves in her body began to tingle and pop at the memory of his body pressed to hers, his hands moving over her skin. By putting any of these on, she would be sending him a message. But what message did she want to send?

Leaving her hair down, she pulled on her selection and slid the robe on over it. Prepared, but cautious. That was the motto for tonight. She didn’t know what Caine thought was going to happen. Hell, she didn’t know what she thought was going to happen. Everything in her was trying to battle it out for an answer. She didn’t like confusion. Clear, direct answers made her happy. But nothing about her relationship with Caine was clear or direct. There were still so many things about each other they didn’t know.

After tucking her hair behind her ears, she left the bathroom and made her way through the house.

The only thing about Caine’s house that resembled the mausoleum she’d visited as a kid was the exterior. Everything else looked so much warmer and more inviting. He’d done well for himself, and reclaiming the house only emphasized that point. Coming back to Unknown, running for mayor, that was part of his dream, even if it was a family expectation. But she was pleased he’d done things his way. She felt better about being friends with him, knowing that he wasn’t as concerned with the trappings of status as he had been when they were together in college.

“There you are.” Caine grinned at her as she entered the big, open kitchen. “I thought I might need to send search and rescue in after you.”

She returned his smile, leaning over the counter to peer at the food he was dishing up. “I could live in that bathtub. It’s kind of ridiculous. Are those mashed potatoes?”

“With green beans and steak. My cooking skills aren’t as fancy as Micah’s, but even I can make pretty decent comfort food.” He winked. “I used your mom’s recipe for potatoes. Extra sour cream and cream cheese.”

Nodding for her to follow him, he took the plates into the dining room. More candles. The man certainly knew how to set a scene. That was a new skill. One that she liked, apparently. One bite of mashed potatoes and she moaned. “Wow. When you set out to spoil a girl, you sure know how to pull out all the stops. My favorite chocolates, favorite champagne, favorite food. New clothes.”

Caine shrugged, picking at his food. “You deserve the best. Even if you decide that you never want to be with me, I want you to know that you’re special to me. Words didn’t seem like enough, so I thought a gesture might be in order.”

“You’re special to me, too, Caine.” She covered his hand with hers. “I know I’ve given you a lot of crap since I’ve came back, but I’m glad we were able to reconnect. It seems I forgot how well we got along.”

“Getting along one-on-one was never our problem, sunshine.” Something sparked in Caine’s blue eyes. Interest, yes. If she had to name it, she’d say desire, too. He was right. Alone, the two of them were as close to perfect as it came. It was only when they left the sanctuary of her dorm room when the pitfalls of their no-strings-attached relationship became glaringly obvious. Their lifestyles couldn’t have been more different back then. He’d spent the nights he wasn’t in her bed drinking and partying with a pretty fast crowd. She knew a lot of his friends were pretty heavy into drugs, although Caine never touched them. She spent all of her free time studying. And that wasn’t even bringing into consideration the social expectations Caine had to contend with. Even if her father hadn’t found out about them and what was going on with her, she doubted she and Caine would have lasted in a real relationship back then.

As the meal progressed and they went back and forth about their weeks, their jobs, innocuous, every day things, she realized that here, in this comfortable, stress-free bubble he’d created for her, those outside factors didn’t really matter.

Mel sat down her fork, blissfully full. “This is all really, really amazing, but why are you doing this?”

“You know why.” Caine leaned forward, reaching out to run a finger down her cheek, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. “When things ended with us, it hurt. A lot. For several years, I tried like hell to get over you, but it never worked. Every woman I dated never measured up to you. They didn’t have your brains or your eyes or that wicked sharp tongue. I want you here with me, sunshine. I care about you. Worry like hell when you’re in trouble, miss you like crazy if I don’t talk to you every day, the whole enchilada.”

Her chest ached at the sincerity in his blue eyes. Guilt pulled at her. She believed that he cared. In spite of everything, in spite of the pain that he’d caused her, she believed that. But there was still too much between them. Too much he didn’t know. Some she could tell him, some she couldn’t. “Caine. I— I want to trust you. I do. But I— “ She took deep breath. “I don’t know if I can.”

#

“Why? Sunshine, tell me what’s got you so spooked by this. By us.” Caine reached out and brushed the hair out of her face. She looked so scared. If she would have let him, he would have pulled her into his lap and protected her from anything that might hurt her.

Biting her bottom lip, she closed her eyes. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head. He barely heard her whisper, “I’m not strong enough.”

“You’re the strongest person I know, Melody.” From the surprised expression on her face, he knew she hadn’t meant to confess what out loud. “No more hiding. Whatever it is, just tell me.”

He knew she had been working hard to forget her past, not just her past with him, but most of her romantic past. And he respected it. If Caine was going to understand why she didn’t have it in her to trust him, he needed to know. "I've only been in three relationships. You, a guy I met in med school, and Andrew."

“How long were you and Andrew together?” Caine took a sip of his iced tea, his gaze on her steady. Progress, at last. He knew a guy was at the root of the problem, he was just relieved it wasn’t all him.

“Three and a half years. Dr. Andrew Thornton. I met him during my second year of residency. He was hired as a partner in the family practice I worked for. Handsome, cocky.”

Caine scoffed. Of course. Another doctor. While he admired the profession in general, the guys that always got on his nerves the most at society parties were doctors. "So a typical doctor?"

“Yeah. I was still stinging from my previous break up, so when Andrew asked me out after work one night, I didn’t think twice.” She crossed her arms, hugging herself as if she could fend off the memory. “Big mistake.”

He automatically went into protective mode, reading every nuance of her body language just as he had all of their lives. When he stood to take her in his arms, she waved him away, waiting until he sat down in his chair before continuing. He itched to hold her, but he'd let her do this on her own for now. "I fell for him fast. Or at least I thought I did. He made me feel safe. Important. I thought he admired my abilities as a doctor as much as he admired my body. Boy, was I wrong.

“We’d been going out for a few months when I began to realize he wasn't a huge fan of the fact that I could spout out medical facts better than most doctors with twenty years’ experience. A resident who was smarter than him? Who corrected his diagnoses? Not a good way to impress the senior partners in the practice we worked for."

He shifted, clenching and unclenching his hands under the table, wishing the guy was there so he could deck him. Instead of focusing on how pissed off he was getting, he kept his focus on Mel. Caine pushed his plate aside, bracing his forearms on the table. “Sounds like he was an idiot.”

Mel ignored him, barreling on. He could see her trying to rip the band-aid off and make a quick exit. "All of it started small. A jibe here. A put-down there. A suggestion that I should exercise more or eat less. I tried not to think much of it. But the longer we were together, the more I started to believe him. He said he loved me, that he wanted the best for me.

“Looking back, I can see now that it always got worse after another doctor admired my work over his, or when I got a paper published. He made me feel small. Unworthy." Old wounds tore open, hurt flashing in her eyes, clawing at his gut. She didn't deserve this kind of pain. He also had a feeling not all of it came from this Andrew guy. “I did everything I could to please him. Everything. But it was never good enough. After a while, I even stopped speaking up at work. Just kept my head down and did the bare minimum to get by."

“That doesn’t sound like the Mel I know.” Caine’s voice was soft with sympathy.

“I didn’t see that. Micah would say something every now and then when we talked on the phone, but I blew it off as the overprotective brother.”

Typical Mel. More than once, he’d seen her stubbornness get her into trouble. “Why’d you finally break up with him?”

The hard question. He knew it would be painful for her to answer, but she had to push through this so he could catch her on the other end. "Because he got engaged to someone else. I didn't even know he was seeing her behind my back. Or seeing me behind her back, I guess. He made me small and then made me into a dirty secret.

“I gave up so much for him. My pride. My academic work. Jesus, I left my mom alone and grieving because he said he couldn't stand to be without me. And the last year of our relationship, he was dating the daughter of the senior partner behind my back." She shook her head, sniffing back tears. "I can't be with someone who won't be able to see me as an equal in his world. Which means I can't be with you."

Caine’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. Andrew Thornton was an even bigger bastard than he’d thought. Bad enough to treat Mel as anything less than a treasure, but to cheat on her? He hated the guy even more for cementing whatever misconceptions Mel had about him and his views on her place in his world. "Now that is bullshit and you know it. I know this bastard did a number on your self-esteem, but don't you ever put me in the same class as him. My parents might have defined equals by bank statements, but I never have. You've always been my equal, Mel. Hell, if you'd let me, I'd argue that you're too good for me."

He cupped her cheek with his hand, his touch soft but laced with steely determination. "I want to be with you, Mel. To enjoy our time together. I've never trusted a woman as much as I've trusted you. Even after everything we've been through. I don't expect you to be anything other than yourself. I won't ask anything from you except that you trust me. Can you do that?"

She grabbed his wrist, holding it in place. Caine saw the indecision flickering in her eyes. How many other ways could he tell her that he wanted to be with her? She'd held his attention for years and deep down he knew she probably always would. No other woman came close to matching her. If she pulled away now, because of what her ex had done, it would hurt like hell. No question. But he wasn't going to give up. Not now that he had her so close.

He expected her to ease away, to step back and ask him to take her home. Instead, she leaned forward, stopping just short of his lips. He felt her hesitation, the question. He had an answer for her; he'd had it since he’d seen her again at the hospital. Caine almost sighed with relief when he pressed his mouth to hers and she didn’t pull away. He planned to do his best to short circuit any brain cells she had left to process her doubts.

God, he'd missed her. For a second, Caine almost gave into the impulse to lift her out of her chair and take her right on the table. But she deserved better than that, especially their first time together again. Especially after everything she'd just told him.

So instead, he swooped her up in his arms, earning him a little squeal of surprise. "Well, aren't you gallant?" she purred, trailing kisses along his jaw, on his neck as he carried her through the dimly lit house. God, she still knew exactly where to kiss him to drive him wild. The only thing keeping him in check right now was the fact that the thick robe he'd bought for her stood between him and her skin. He knew she'd picked the pajamas over the sexy nightgown he'd bought her, but that didn't mean she wasn't also wearing some of the lingerie he'd had overnighted for her.

“Slow down, sunshine. We've got all night." He teased her earlobe before setting her on her feet, making sure to let her body slide down every inch of his until her perfectly painted toes touched the thick bedroom carpet.

A wicked chuckle went from her lips to his before she pulled away. With a smile, she put a hand on his sternum and gave him a little push onto the king-sized bed. "You're right. We do have all night."

Mel quickly shed the bathrobe, tossing it over his reading chair. The yellow fabric of her pajamas covered every inch of skin besides her hands and feet, but it was sheer enough for him to see that underneath she wore red. His nostrils flared and the desire pounding through him amped up several notches. "I see you liked my gifts," he ground out.

“Uh-huh. You know how I love cotton pajamas." Any other kind made her too hot at night. His mouth went dry as she toyed with the bottom button, slipping it free. "But I'm thinking the optimistic part of you got the lingerie as more of a gift for you than for me."

“I plead the fifth," he murmured as her nimble fingers continued up the trail of buttons bisecting her torso. During the task she looked down, sending coy looks at him as she went. When the last button was free, Caine only got a teasing glimpse of smooth white skin and a little bit of red lace. He took a deep breath through his nose, trying to keep some rein on his self-control.

Mel’s smile was dark with female power. "Oh. I suppose you want to see more, huh? Fine. You can look, but no touching until I say so."

His throat tightened as he nodded. Letting her take control was the hardest thing he'd ever done, but he didn't fight it. He'd agree to eat dirt right now if it meant he got to see Mel in the red underwear he'd picked out last night. Red always made her skin look like the sweet cream ice cream from their favorite ice cream parlor in Providence. No matter how good his imagination was, though, it couldn't compare to the reality of the woman in front of him. Lowering her lashes, she shimmied her shoulders, letting the yellow cotton float down in a soft puff.

“I think my heart just skipped a beat," he said. The red lace did very little to obscure the view of her breasts. Instead, it cupped her succulent curves as if it were made for her. Little whorls in the lace hid her pretty pink nipples, but he could tell they had hardened with the same desire he felt. The smooth curve of her belly called to him. He remembered the feel of the dip in her waist as he’d slid his hands along it. If he went far enough, he'd get a little giggle out of her when he got to her extremely ticklish ribs.

She wrinkled her nose at him. "While a physical impossibility, I'll take that as a compliment. La Perla certainly knows their business. I've always wanted a set."

“I'll buy you ten sets if they look half as good as these do." He reached out to her, but she gently smacked his hand away.

“Not yet, mister. Lose the shirt."

This side of Mel was new. He'd been her first and, though she was a fast learner, he’d always taken the lead when it came to the bedroom. But he liked this turn of events. "Only if you lose the pants in return."

“Deal.”

Caine whipped his shirt over his head, not bothering to undo the buttons. All of his focus was on seeing Mel in only that bra and the panties he knew lurked just below the low-slung top of her pajama bottoms.

“Mmm,” she moaned admiration in her gaze. "Looks like you haven't gone soft while you sat in that office of yours, Mr. Mayor."

He shook his head. No more words. "Pants. Off. Now."

She waited one second. Two. Three. Four. Just as he was about to reach out and push them off himself, she put her hands on her hips just above where the bottoms started. With measured slowness, she gradually pushed down until small bits of red lace began to come into view. By the time the bottoms fell free, he was rock hard and aching to touch her.

Wisps of red lace gave way to miles of snowy white skin, all sleek muscles and dimpled knees. Mel as a freshman in college had been lovely, the first bloom of womanhood still clouding her cheeks. The Mel standing before him now was a woman in her prime, confident and proud of her sexuality.

As if reading his thoughts, she reached up to cup her breasts, lifting them up even more than the bra already did. "I think these are a bit bigger than the last time you saw them. And, oh, but this lace feels decadent against them. Soft, but still rough, too."

His breath hitched and his balls tightened. "Tease. Bet my hands would feel even better."

"Hmmm." She twirled her hair, mimicking the motion she always made when thinking through a serious problem. "You've been a good boy. But the lingerie stays on until I say so."

"You drive a hard bargain, Dr. Carr. Come here." He yanked her until she sprawled on top of him, then flipped so she was under him. Capturing her hands, he lifted them above her head and pinned them to the bed. Caine looked down at her, a starving man at an exquisite banquet, unsure where to start. It was his turn to tease now.

#

Mel utilized every yoga breathing method she’d ever learned to try and keep herself from panting. With her hands above her head, she was powerless against his teasing. “Too many delicious places to choose from,” he growled into her ear. “Where to begin?”

She wanted to make a suggestion that he start with the breasts that ached for his touch, but she held her tongue. Don't give too much away if you want to keep the upper hand.

Instead, he started at her nose, moving across the line of her cheekbones, past her ears and down her neck. Little nibbling kisses that drew a deep blush wherever he touched. God, he was good. So good. She’d forgotten how strongly her body responded to his.

When he reached her collarbone, the nibbling changed to gentle nips that he soothed with long, slow swipes of his tongue. She pressed her lips closed to hold back a moan. As he worked his way along the lacy edge of the bra cup, she couldn’t stop a long sigh.

“Like that, do you? I’ve never forgotten how sensitive your beautiful breasts are. How responsive.”

To demonstrate his point, he moved the slow, wet kisses from her skin to the las covering her breasts. Fastening his hot mouth over the lace that protected her nipple, he sucked it in. Her breath caught in her throat as the tug sent a bolt of desire straight to her core. Involuntarily, her hips moved against him, held in place by his firm body. Still, he didn’t stop. The teasing didn’t stop either. For several long, deliciously maddening minutes, he showered attention first on one breast, and then the other.

“Caine. Please. I need…”

A warm hand slipped to cup her over the delicate panties, cutting off her fragmented thoughts.

“This?” He found her *, massaging it. The mix of her own wetness and the lace had her sighing with pleasure, but she shook her head. Gasping for breath, she finally found the words.

“No. I need to feel you, skin to skin. I need you inside me. Now. Mo more waiting.”

To her everlasting relief, he slowly withdrew his hand and moved it to the waistband of the panties. With a rough gentleness that only increased the already painful ache at her core, he pushed them off of her, running his hand along the length of her leg as he went. As soon as he released her arms, she made quick work of her bra, tossing it aside like an old rag. He pulled away long enough to shove off his jeans and boxers. On his way back to her, he grabbed a condom out of the bedside table and tossed it beside her head.

Catching him off guard, Mel pushed against Caine’s shoulders, flipping him so she straddled his lap. The rock hard length of him jutted up against her, begging for attention. She knew how she wanted this. With shaking hands, she opened the condom package, sliding it over him with a slowness that was almost as painful for her as she knew it must be for him. They’d always desired each other, needed each other, but never with this much intensity.

She didn’t want this first reunion to be about either one of them on top of the other. Something deep inside of her needed this to be a joining of equal. Of partners. He must have read her mind, because he surged up, delving into a kiss so deep she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began.

“Inside me. Now.” The words, though muffled by his mouth against hers, had the desired effect. Framing her hips, he lifted her, moving her into position. With torturous, tantalizing, delicious slowness, he slid into her. Situated as they were, his chest rubbing her breasts, his stomach against hers, she was able to take every wonderful inch of him in.

Even when he was finally inside her, Caine didn’t move at first. He waited until her eyes met his and locked. They stayed that way for a moment, breathing each other’s breaths, heartbeats synced to the same pounding staccato. Everything about this felt so real, so intimate. Even during her first time, the night she’d given him her virginity, she hadn’t felt this connected to him.

As one, they began to move, their hips as in tune to each other as their hearts. Every time he thrust, she moved her pelvis to meet him. Fire blasts of pleasure darted from the place where they were joined and went out to almost incinerate every cell. Bodies slick with sweat, they became thoroughly entwined, completely joined. With each passing minute, their rhythm increased and the pleasure inside her built. She shattered in his arms, her hips still moving, her body clenching his erection, only to feel herself rising again and again. The last time was too much for her to handle as she cried out before burying her face in the crook of his neck. Past his own breaking point, Caine groaned through his release.

Completely spent, but obviously unwilling to let her go, he collapsed backward on the comforter. Mel nuzzled into his neck, struggling to catch her breath. Thoughts swirled around her head, too numerous to make any sense.

Even when Caine gained enough energy to maneuver her between the sheets before going to the bathroom to clean up, then snuggled down beside her, they didn’t say anything to break the spell. This man had such a hold on her. She’d thought she’d escaped it, thought that what passed between them so long ago destroyed what she felt for him. She’d been wrong. Any other time that thought might have terrified her, but she was too sated to care about anything at the moment. Feeling like every bone in her body now had the consistency of pudding, Mel allowed sleep to claim her.

Caine had definitely accomplished his mission. She hadn’t felt this thoroughly relaxed in years. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.