The refrigerator is exactly as I expected it. “Thanks, mom,” I say out loud, because not only did she fix me up right, but she’s given me an idea. I take out what I need and start preparing. I move around the kitchen quickly for fear that Katelyn will come looking for me. Or is it hope? All I know I want to take this to her because she’s not expecting it. Just like I didn’t expect her to make such an impact on my life.
The sand is warm on my bare feet as I walk toward her. As I get closer, I notice that she’s wearing one of my dress shirts. It doesn’t even bother me that I know she went into my closet to get it. It’s sexy as fuck seeing her in my clothes.
I set down the plate of food I made and sit behind her. She leans against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I could live like this and be happy for the rest of my life. The only thing missing are the kids running around in front of us. They complete us.
I pull the wrap off the plate and pick up a piece of cheese and apple wedge. “I have something for you,” I say as I reach around her and place the offering at her lips. She doesn’t say anything. She just takes a bite and nuzzles into my neck. I get the feeling that something is wrong, but I’m afraid to ask her what. I’m not sure I’d like the answer if she told me that she doesn’t want to spend the summer here or if she’s starting to second guess us because of what I said earlier.
I take a few grapes off the vine and feed both of us, alternating between her and me. There are a few surfers out in the water, but for the most part, the beach is deserted right now, which is shocking. I’m not complaining. It gives us more privacy.
“You’re not what I thought you’d be,” she says as her lips graze my neck. What I am is losing my resolve not to spin her around and watch her come undone from my touch. Her body is the one drumbeat I can’t master, but I’ll never give up trying. I try not to overthink her statement. I’m not sure I want to know what it means, but leaving it unquestioned will only burn me later.
“Meaning?” I ask as I feed her a strawberry.
Katelyn shrugs. “Everything I thought about you was wrong. I had a list a mile long of reasons why we wouldn’t work. First with your tattoos, I assumed the worst. Then there was the woman at the bar when we were in Florida. When I saw that happen, I thought there was no way I’d be able to trust someone like you and wondered how Josie was doing it. I was so standoffish, and yet you come over twice a week to mow my lawn, even though I never asked you to. I kept saying we couldn’t be together and now that we are, I can’t find a reason for us not to be. If anything, you should hate me for being a bitch to you.
“Here we are, at your gorgeous place that you left to live in Beaumont, and I can’t understand why. You’re feeding me, and that is definitely something I never expected from you. Hell, it’s never even happened to me before. And this afternoon, the way you made love to me…” Katelyn sighs and shakes her head. She leans forward and covers her eyes, hiding from me. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do here. Everything I’ve been doing so far, I’ve done because it felt natural, but right now, I don’t know if I’m supposed to reach out and touch her or leave her to sort through her thoughts. Right now, I’m lost and confused. Earlier, things seemed fine, but that’s definitely not the case at this moment.
My throat is tight. I clear it a few times, but am unable to find my voice. I’m afraid to move. What if this is not what she wants? I sit like a statue and fight the pressure in my chest. I can’t take anymore.
“I don’t…” I have to clear my throat again. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here, Katelyn.”
She shakes her head again and stands. My shirt is long enough to over her ass, but I know she’s not wearing anything underneath. She turns and takes two steps forward before falling to her knees in front of me. I’m afraid to touch her, even though I’m burning to pull her to me.
“Why do you hide from me?”
I look at her questioningly. “What’re you talking about?”
“Is this the real Harrison James sitting in front of me?”
Well, isn’t that a loaded question with many possible answers? “What do you want to know?”
“Where are your parents?”
I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I look down the beach and smile. “My mom lives about ten minutes away. I told you earlier that my sister is in New York and my dad – he died when I was four. He was a police officer and was shot in the line of duty by a gang member.”
“Harrison,” she says my name so quietly, but full of sorrow. Katelyn cups my face, her fingers dancing along my jaw, playing with my scruff.
“It was a long time ago, Katelyn.”
“But you were so young.” This I was, and I suffered dearly for not having a father figure around and a mom that had to work two jobs to make ends meet. I love my mom more than anything. She had to be not only a mother, but a father, and she tried so hard to make mine and Yve’s life the best she could. I need to change the subject before I tell her the horrors of my childhood that will surely send her running for the hills.
“What about you? How was life as an only child?”
Katelyn shrugs and plays with the hair at the nape of my neck. “I had Josie, so it was like having a sister.”