Chapter Fifteen
This gentle beast so died, whom nothing could remove,
But willingly to lose his life for loss of his true love.
~Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey
April 14, 1537
I kept to my chambers over the next several days, sending Queen Jane my regrets for not serving her. I complained of stomach pains, and she relented for me to rest. Whether she believed me, I know not.
Edward bade me stay in my chambers, which was fine by me. I could not leave anyway, not with the violence with which I had last encountered Tom, the humiliation our guests had witnessed. It was not that I feared for my life, but more that I feared for what Tom could do to Edward, to our position. Families normally rose and fell together, but Tom wanted to be the only Seymour. Wanted to betray us to the king.
Edward had spent the last few days tightening up our defenses. He had paid visits to all those at court we could call friend. Made loans, gave favors. Hired more spies to keep an eye on his brother. Within the confines of my room, I wrote correspondence with Gertrude and, on her suggestion, to the Duchess of Suffolk, the wife of Charles Brandon, the king’s dearest friend, both of whom assured me I need not worry about the anger of a man such as Tom.
“We’re going to Wulfhall,” Edward said that evening. We sat in our presence chamber, he reading over letters and documents, and me working on embroidering initials into a gown for sweet Eddie. How I missed the babe.
“When?” Wulfhall. Little Eddie. It felt like an eternity since I had seen him last. Leaving court would be a relief.
“Tomorrow. Jane will accompany us. The king has business in Calais, and he does not wish Jane to travel with him that far—she told him she’s expecting.”
“Did she? I was hoping she had. I take it the king was pleased?”
“Aye, he was.” Edward smiled, his countenance triumphant. “Mentioned something of not eating another artichoke for a decade.”
My head fell back as I laughed at this. “Or at least until he wishes to get another babe on her.”
“Right, you are! Let us pray the babe is a prince.” We bowed our heads, mumbled prayers and then crossed ourselves.
“My sister Beth will also join us, and Jane is bringing the Lady Mary as her companion.”
I brightened even more at the added guests. “How long will we stay at Wulfhall?”
“We’ll stay until the king returns.”
“But I’ve only just returned to court,” I lamented half-heartedly.
Edward turned to smile at me. “That was not your best work,” he teased.
“Shall I try again? But Edward,” I whined in an exaggerated voice.
He laughed and came to kneel before me. My heart fluttered a bit. “There she is.”
“There who is?”
“Do not let us forget who you are, Anne. Do not let court suck the sweetness from you, only to leave a bitter tang.”
I nodded, afraid to speak, for whatever sweetness I’d ever possessed had left me the moment Surrey laid his hands on me. My emotions were too raw, too fragile. The vicious words of Tom and Anthony came flooding back. Taunting me. Coupled with Edward’s embrace and kind words, it was almost too much. So little time had we spent recently remembering our true friendship and love for each other. Anthony had been a huge distraction for me, and with him gone… I felt that Edward and I had been able to rediscover each other. He kissed me on the forehead and went back to his papers.
The following morning we met Jane in the courtyard. Henry did not want her to ride her horse to Wulfhall, so instead had a gilded litter prepared, replete with a red velvet draped roof and cloth of gold curtains on the sides. Two horses stood stoically, one in front of the other, the litter between them and attached with wooden poles to their bellies by thick leather straps and iron rings.
Fit for a queen. The litter would make our travel longer because the horses would have to walk, but Jane had arranged for servants to ride ahead and set up a picnic in a grove along the way.
“Good morning, Your Majesty.” I curtsied to King Henry and kissed his offered ring.
“Lady Anne, Beauchamp.” He nodded to Edward, who’d risen from his bow. “Take good care of my Jane. If any harm is to befall on her, you shall suffer for it.” He laughed, but the veiled threat was evident behind his jovial attitude.
“We shall take great care of her, Majesty, I assure you. Queen Jane shall want for nothing,” I said.
“How lucky she is to have you as a sister-by-marriage. If you have need of anything, Master Cromwell will see that it is provided. I will only be in Calais a short time, but if needs be, I shall return.”
I banked the urge to cringe at Cromwell’s name. “Majesty, have a safe journey. Upon your return, we invite you to dine at Wulfhall.”
“Indeed, it will be my first return stop upon landing at Dover.” He turned to focus his attention on Jane, who sat in the litter, peering out at us. “Ah, there you are, Jane.”
“Majesty,” she inclined her head and lowered her lashes. How she had perfected the look of utter docility, I did not know. Perhaps she could teach me? Although I had never adhered to the saying you catch more bees with honey than vinegar. I preferred to swat the bees with my shoe.
King Henry kissed Jane on the lips and murmured to her tenderly. Once their display of familial domesticity was complete, we mounted our horses and were on our way.
April 21, 1537
“May I hold your babe?” Mary asked, as I sat rocking the sleeping form of little Eddie in the great hall. The sun shone through a great, stained glass window, which sat below the peaks of the vaulted ceiling over the main door. Little prisms of red, blue, green and gold danced along the polished floorboards.
The last week at Wulfhall had been a rejuvenating retreat. Edward had spent the time visiting our various holdings, while we ladies had spent the days walking in the gardens, reading, embroidering and playing with little Eddie.
“Why, of course, my lady.” I handed the gurgling cherub over to her, already feeling the loss of his warm body in my arms. What would I do when the king returned to England and it was time for us to go back to court? My heart seized at the thought. Would that I could be as carefree as some other women, who hadn’t the obligation to live life at court away from her children. Would that I could stay here forever, teach him to crawl, walk, talk and write letters to his father. I bit the tip of my tongue to stave off the tears that burned my eyes.
Mary curled her arms around Eddie and held him close. He opened his eyes a moment and burbled at her, his mouth forming a little O. His eyes widened, lashes hitting his eyebrows, and he reached out to bat at her face with a chubby little fist.
“He is a beautiful baby,” Mary murmured, and then with longing said, “I hope one day to have a boy just as sweet.”
“And you shall.” I gazed upon the perfection that was my son. How lucky Edward and I were to have born such a creature.
“I do not share your confidence.” Her eyes connected with mine. “I have been promised many times, but never committed.”
“Mary, you will. I will see to it. As soon as I am recovered from my lying in with a prince, I will begin making inquiries myself,” Jane said. She looked up from her embroidery to gaze on Mary.
I started. Then realized Jane’s words—she’d not make any inquiries until she’d born the king a son.
“Would you?” Mary asked, her eyes lightning.
“On my honor,” Jane said the words so matter-of-factly, they garnered no argument. “I’ve mentioned as much to His Majesty, and he agrees it is time you marry.”
“Oh, Jane,” Mary gushed, her face taking on an air of na?veté and happiness that did not quite fit her. She always seemed such a serious woman and well beyond her years, but when she truly let herself shine through, you could see the girl beneath the rigid exterior. What a life Mary had led so far, her twenty-one years rife with struggle, pain, and determination. “That would be extremely pleasing.”
“I want to see you just as happy as I am,” Jane said.
“And are you truly happy?” Beth asked.
It was a question all of us had on our lips. With my being away for the birth of Eddie and then the recent goings-on at court, I hadn’t been able to sit down with Jane and have a private talk.
A smile curled her lips. “I am. I’ve fulfilled part of my duty to His Majesty. Proved I am not barren, that I am ripe and able to carry a babe. Now I just have to finish this one task and birth a prince safely into this world.”
Pray be a prince.
“The babe has started to kick. Strong little kicks, too. Not at all a fluttering, as I was told to expect. I feel strongly in my heart that it is a boy. He wants me to know he’s a prince, so he kicks. God wants me to know, so that I might not fret during the long months ahead, and I can grow the healthiest little baby who will one day be as great a king as his father.”
“And he will, Majesty,” Mary said, tickling the chin of Eddie.
“What a joy it will be to see it happen,” Jane said with a smile before returning to her work.
“What of you, Beth? Think you are ready to remarry?” I asked.
Beth turned to me and smiled. “I am more than ready now, Anne.”
I smiled in return. “I have a match in mind for you.”
“Who is the lucky gent?” she teased.
“Edward agrees with me the match has potential.” I raised my brows at her.
“You have not answered the question. Does this mean he is ugly? Has twelve toes?”
Jane and Mary laughed. Little Eddie let out a squeal of delight.
“Beth, darling, he is extremely handsome,” I answered.
“Who then?”
I took a deep breath and let out the name, “Master Gregory Cromwell.”
Beth sucked in a breath. Her eyes narrowed at me, and her voice was hushed. “Secretary Cromwell’s son?”
“’Tis not so bad. The apple falls far from the tree in that line.” I gave a firm nod.
“Hmm… He is handsome. Perhaps his bedroom manner will make up for who his sire is,” Beth said.
“Beth!” Jane gasped, exasperated, her embroidery falling onto her lap.
But I only laughed, for if I had been Elizabeth Seymour, I would have been thinking the same thing.
April 28, 1537
“My lady, a letter has arrived from your mother.” Edward stalked into my solar and handed me the parchment.
I set down my embroidery and stood. Jane, Beth and Mary had all taken to resting this afternoon before the evening meal.
“Did you read it?”
“I thought I would let you do the honors.” He slumped into a chair and took a proffered glass of wine from Jenny.
I tore open my mother’s seal and read the contents. “She is begging a visit from us.”
I motioned for Jenny to bring me some wine.
“You do not sound pleased.” Edward glanced toward me, his brows raised.
“You know very well I am not,” I huffed.
He stood and came behind me, his hands massaging my shoulders. I rolled against him, enjoying the soothing strength of his hands as he worked away the bunches and tightness in my shoulders.
“Anne…” he drawled.
In that instant, I could tell he was up to something. “Out with it, Edward.”
“I have to be away for a sennight or two. Perhaps instead of going to see your mother, you could invite her here to visit.”
I whirled around to face Edward. “Have you lost your mind?”
He had the audacity to chuckle and tweak me on the chin. “No need to get your goose up, wife. You have not seen or spoken to your mother in months. As much as you would like to avoid her—and I know you do—it is best to keep some semblance of contact for the sake of our position. We must appear to be gratuitous to all, not just our closest friends.”
I frowned so hard a headache started behind my eyes.
“Do not look at me so. I cannot stand to see you unhappy. But you know ’tis for the best. Your stepfather is now sided with Surrey. Who knows what vile things he’s said or spread? We need their support. We need to know what Surrey is about. Remember, he is a Howard, and essentially your family is now of the Howard faction. Friends close, enemies closer.”
Edward had a point. As much as I abhorred the idea—felt physically sick, in fact—I could not ignore the fact that we not only needed information, but we needed Page and my mother on our side.
“Very well. I shall see if she’d like to come for a visit. I do not doubt she will accept, seeing as how the queen is here.”
“Exactly.” Edward leaned forward and kissed me fleetingly on the lips before leaving me to write my correspondence.
I did not receive a response back from my mother. Indeed, the woman arrived in the flesh two days later, May Day, to announce her acceptance of my invitation.
I’d had a feeling she would do just that, and so the servants had busily prepared rooms for more guests when the sounds of riders approaching reached me from the rear gardens.
I was wholly unprepared for what greeted me, however. My limbs went cold, and words stopped on my tongue. Brushing my hands down the length of my skirt, I tried to recover myself.
“I must thank you heartily, my lady, for an invitation to visit Wulfhall. I do believe this may be the first time I have ever set foot inside.” Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, bowed low before me.
Instead of curtsying in return, I pressed my lips together to stop a scream and nodded my head.
I turned a glare on my mother that should have melted her to the floor. The woman had the audacity to meet my gaze, although she did step closer to her husband.
“My lady, we thank you for inviting those in residence of Surrey to join you. We hear the queen is visiting?” my stepfather said.
“Indeed, this is her childhood home, and she visits as often as suits her,” I said coldly and narrowed my eyes. “Pardon me, Lord Surrey, but I did not issue an invitation to all those who live in Surrey, only those residing in my mother’s home. I have not a room prepared for you.”
Whatever tricks my mother and Page were up to, they would not win. I simply would not have it, and if Edward were to catch wind of this… Oh, dear Lord, I would not want to see his reaction.
My mother gasped, her hand coming to her mouth. “Daughter, I am confident that in your letter you extended your invitation to his lordship. For certes, the queen would not express pleasure in his departure. Presumably, you’ve another room the servants can prepare? It would be utterly dreadful for our benefactor to not be able to join us.”
Her words shocked me. Why was she doing this to me? Was it to get back at me for not becoming a patron to my half-sister, Lizzie? The little imp took that moment to peer out from behind my mother. Her eyes were wide and filled with confusion and sadness. At once, I knew she was nothing more than a pawn as I had been. I gave her a weak smile and vowed to be nicer to her. Perhaps I could find a way to have her back at court.
“Benefactor?” I queried, tilting my head in question.
“Indeed,” Sir Page piped in. “His lordship is renovating our manor home with his own funds and allowing us to stay at his home while the rebuilding takes place.”
I swallowed past the ever-increasing lump in my throat. How deeply my mother and Page had entrenched themselves with my own enemy. Living under the same roof, the man paying for their renovations. What had happened to cause such an event?
Again, I looked at Lizzie. There were deep circles underneath her eyes. Her gaze was haunting. At once, I had an idea of what had happened. Anger sliced me anew. Had he compromised my sister?
Before I could lurch at him and gouge his eyes out, Queen Jane glided into the great hall.
“My Lord Surrey, Sir Richard and Lady Page, a pleasure.” She leaned to the side and grasped Lizzie’s hands. “Miss Elizabeth, I have not seen you in so long. I should like you to visit me. Perhaps we can find a place for you in court.”
I turned my gaze on the queen, eyes wide at her words, her invitation. How long had Jane been standing there? How much did Jane know about my past with Surrey? Had she guessed, as I had, that he was abusing my sister?
“Majesty.” The trio of people I despised at the moment spoke in unison, dipping low to their queen.
Elizabeth Seymour and Lady Mary approached the crowd with greetings as well. Beth met my gaze with empathy, her lips pressed together. Was everyone at court aware of my past, or had Edward shared it in secret with his sisters? Whatever the case, I was glad to have them with me to strengthen my resolve.
“We are pleased to have new faces here. How long will you be staying?” Jane asked.
My mother opened her mouth to answer, but Page spoke instead, a twitch of his wrist in my mother’s direction. “Only a few days. It just so happens we had some time between dealings in Surrey and sought a respite.”
“I shall speak with the housekeeper regarding rooms. Lizzie,” I said turning toward my half-sister, “you shall share my room.”
My mother flinched but quickly recovered herself. Surrey scowled at me and then at my stepfather, who’d turned away to demand ale from a passing servant.
Perhaps Jenny could dig some special herbs out of the cellar to make a sleeping draught, and then our special guests could retire early and stay in their rooms for longer.
I dearly regretted listening to Edward about drawing my mother closer, and I was confident if he had known what had happened at his suggestion, he too would have agreed.
On the other hand… Now I knew I must protect young Lizzie, else she become lost in the flurry.
I was a coward.
I’d proved my cowardice tonight as well. I’d curled into a ball inside the window seat of my bedroom and stared out at the moon and a few stars in the sky. Some clouds passed overhead, creating shadows on the darkened lawn below.
I’d nibbled on a bit of chicken that Cook had brought to my rooms. After the unexpected arrival of our guests that afternoon, I had done my duties and prepared a room for Surrey, but then had taken to my room for the remainder of the evening. I had not gone down to dine the evening meal with everyone, although I should have, seeing as how Wulfhall was Edward’s home, and I mistress here, but the queen could have played hostess, and if she had not felt well enough to endeavor to the task, Elizabeth Seymour, who’d also grown up at Wulfhall, could have.
I just could not have stomached Surrey. In fact, I was certain that if I had sat to dine with him I would have ended up stabbing him with my dinner knife, or spearing my fork into his eyeballs. While he warranted such a reaction for the things he was guilty of, I could not have created more scandal.
Jenny was to collect my young sister after the meal finished and deposit her in my room. I listened to the sound of the ticking clock, having struck nine times several minutes earlier. The meal and evening entertainments should have been wrapping up, and a girl of her tender age would indeed have been heading to bed any minute.
The servant I sent out to find Edward at one of our surrounding holdings had yet to return. I did not place much hope in that direction in any case. By the time Edward returned to Wulfhall, our guests would most likely have left already.
The lifting of the latch on my door startled me from my reverie and I stood, eyes wide, waiting for Jenny and Lizzie to enter.
“Surrey!” I gasped. He closed the door behind him, leaned on it, with arms crossed.
“My lady.” His voice was calm, a smirk on his lips.
“Get out!” I shouted, not caring who heard. “This is most inappropriate. How dare you enter my private chambers.”
He shrugged. “You were not at dinner, Lady Beauchamp. And I needed a word with you.”
“You will have to wait until morning. Out!” I pointed at the door, my breathing becoming erratic. Panic set in.
He had only come with my mother and Page to Wulfhall to torment me. I could see it in his eyes. He was a sadistic bastard!
“Tsk, tsk. You are not such a gracious hostess.”
“You were not invited.” My fists clenched tight, nails digging into the skin of my palms.
“No matter, I will leave before the sun has risen. I only wanted to deliver a message.”
“Be done with it then,” I demanded.
He chuckled. “So much fire you have now. If only you’d been so spirited when I had my cock between your thighs.”
My face screwed up in disgust, and I wanted desperately to spit in his face. But, instead, I held my head high, steady and gritted my teeth. “You disgust me, Surrey. I care not for whatever message you’ve to relay. Get out before I call my guards.”
Surrey lurched forward and took my chin between his fingers, his nails biting into my flesh. I flailed in his grip, my feet kicking, arms hitting, but he pinned me against the wall, his other arm wrapping around me enough to keep me still. He came within an inch of my face, then pressed his foul lips to mine, even as I struggled.
He spoke harshly against my lips. “Tom and I have become companions, my lady. Close confidantes, if you will. You might keep that in mind.”
I knew he lied. The only thing Tom Seymour hated more than being a second son—and myself—was anyone named Howard. But still, he had a loose tongue and who knew what the devil he’d said while under the influence of too much ale. “Go to hell,” I bit out. And I truly wished Surrey to go there, the sooner the better.
He laughed aloud and pushed away from me, ducking out of the way as I reached out to slap him.
I had never wanted to kill a man more.
Surrey held true to his promise, and when I awoke the next morning, he was already gone. But the damage had been done. He’d sought to instill fear in me, and while I was intelligent enough to surmise that his threats about Tom and him forming a faction of their own were erroneous, his words still held merit on another account. I shifted my jaw, feeling the bruises from his rough-handedness.
Tom was still a volatile man. Tom still spoke too much when he was inebriated and filled with rancor.
I glided into the great hall to find I was the last one to arrive—bruises covered by a powder Jennie made for me. All stood about the table, waiting for me to arrive so we might go to chapel for morning prayer.
Upon returning to the great hall to break our fast, I was greeted by a sight that both vexed me and filled me with irksome happiness.
Anthony.
“Sir Anthony, what a pleasant surprise. We did not expect to see you here.”
He bowed to us. “Nor I, my lady. But as it happens, I have come with a message for Her Majesty.”
Jane stepped forward and took the scroll Anthony held out for her.
“I hope your journey abroad was successful.” I openly studied him.
Anthony met my gaze. “My journey was somewhat fruitful. I ran into His Majesty in Calais, on my way…well, doing some business, and he asked me to deliver his letter to his queen.”
I narrowed my eyes at his words, itching to know what he was about. But he’d been abroad on business for the crown, searching out the rat Pole, and his doings were of a secretive nature.
Jane gasped, her hand coming to her mouth, and her face lit up while she read. She gently rolled the parchment back, fidgeting with the wax seal. “His Majesty suspects he shall be arriving at Wulfhall in a fortnight. I have missed him so.”
“Wonderful news,” I murmured, and squeezed her outstretched hand.
“Thank you, Sir Anthony, for bringing such good tidings. We should like to have the pleasure of your company. Will you be staying at Wulfhall or returning to London?” Jane said.
“Majesty, you are too kind. I should like to stay.” He turned toward me with a raised brow, his eyes pleading.
Did he seek my forgiveness? Was I ready to give it? Better yet, was he forgiving me?
I detested that with Anthony my emotions were so uncontrollable. Vulnerability was not a feeling I enjoyed having. But I prided myself on my ability to maintain control. And it slipped away every time he was near.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye my mother and Sir Page examining the interaction between myself and Anthony. I could almost feel them calculating their assumptions in their minds. That would not do. As much as I longed to tell him he was forgiven, that I wished to pick up where we had left off, slap him for hurting me, and kiss him all over, I could not. I did the only thing I knew how to do. I lifted my chin, pursed my lips and gave him the courtly Anne that everyone knew and respected.
“I shall have our housekeeper air a room for you.” With that much said, I slipped past Anthony, the queen on my arm, and headed for the dais to break our fast.
If disappointment or hurt crossed his features, he did not let on.
After the meal was cleared, Lizzie volunteered to play on her lute, and Beth accompanied her in song. Mary and Jane set about sewing, and my mother joined them. Page and Anthony sat a bit apart to talk about politics.
I attempted to sew but could not concentrate and kept sticking myself with the needle. The fabric was getting more blood on it than stitches. I gazed around at the group, in thought. In another world, this could have been quite a domestic scene. Anthony could have been my husband, having a gentlemanly chat with my stepfather. But instead, he was a man I loved yet despised, who was not my husband, having a chat with the man married to my mother, who I abhorred.
When Beth caught my gaze, her intelligent eyes tried to read into my thoughts. I cast her a genteel smile and returned to my stitches. I could not risk anyone else reading the thoughts doubtlessly written all over my face.
The afternoon passed by quickly, with the men going out to ride and the ladies entertaining the queen with baby talk. I went about my duties as mistress to Wulfhall, and soon it was time for us to have the evening meal.
We all sat about, food was served, wine and ale poured. But I hardly noticed the fare. My eyes landed on Anthony only to see that he’d already been looking my way.
“My humble thanks, my lady, for allowing me to sup with you and your guests.”
“Nonsense, Sir Anthony, you are one of Anne’s guests,” my mother interjected.
I glared in her direction for answering for me, and for using my Christian name.
“You are welcome here, Sir Anthony,” I added. “How long do you plan to stay?”
If my question came across as rude or out of place, no one seemed to notice, although, to me, with the relationship I had with the man, it had seemed sharp.
He smirked but quickly covered it up, as if feeling the same things I did and trying not to laugh at our situation. “I shall have to leave before dawn, my lady.”
“Oh, for shame, sir! Why should you leave so early?” my mother said.
Anthony did not take his eyes off of me when he answered her. “I do not want to overstay my welcome. ’Tis also a fact I am expected elsewhere.”
I nodded and took a bite of meat, chewing methodically before swallowing, feeling it land like a lump in my belly. “A pleasant interlude to have you with us, even if for a short time.” My voice came out monotone, and I stared at a crack beginning in the plaster of one of the walls. Best have it repaired before it grew any larger.
Again, I caught Beth studying me with a critical eye. Damned if I did and damned if I did not. I could not seem to act normally around Anthony. I tried hard to ignore him and play at being cold, but it only came off as being awkward and strange. Yet, the only other way I could have acted around him would be as if I were melting through the floor, and that simply would have been preposterous.
As soon as the meal was over, Jane bid everyone adieu so she could rest, and I, too, stood to excuse myself. “Sir Anthony, your room is prepared. When you are ready to retire, one of the servants can escort you there.”
He bowed to me, as did the others.
“Come, Lizzie,” I called to my sister.
I awoke in the night, startled from sleep.
The bed shook slightly, and then a soft moan.
Lizzie.
I leaned over toward her, thinking she might be crying. Her cheeks were wet with tears, but she was still asleep. I shook her gently.
“Wake,” I whispered.
She jolted awake, her mouth open in a silent scream.
I rubbed her arms and shushed her. “Calm down. ’Twas only a dream.”
Slowly, she settled down beside me. I tucked her blankets more tightly against her.
“Anne?” she said so softly I nearly had not heard her.
“Mmm-hmm?”
“Can I tell you something? Will you swear to keep it secret?”
Instantly, I was on alert. “Of course. You can keep me in your confidence.”
“You do not esteem Lord Surrey.”
How to respond? “He is not my most favorite person, no.”
“I share your sentiments.”
If I was going to get further with this, and to the bottom of whatever horrors he had enacted on her, now was the time.
“I do believe we are not alone in that. Nearly half of court despises the man. Why is it you’ve come to such regard of him?”
Lizzie sighed deeply and was silent for nearly a dozen heartbeats. “He has ill-used me, sister.”
Just as I had suspected. “Are you hurt?”
I felt her shake her head no. “Only in my mind, and virtue, but otherwise, I fare well.”
To me, those were the worst places to be hurt. Bruises and cuts healed, but to have lost your virtue and your mind—those were things you could never get back.
I reached out to her and pulled her in for a hug. “Me, too,” I whispered.
Lizzie began to sob, shaking against me, her head tucked against my shoulder, her tears wetting my night rail. I let her cry as long as she needed, until she began to hiccup, and then that, too, subsided.
“What shall I do, Anne?”
Agony dripped from her every word. “Does mother or Sir Richard know of Surrey’s treachery?”
“Yes. Surrey told me there was nothing they could do about it.”
Rage, pure and sharp, ripped through my rib cage. I wanted to jump from the bed, fling open the door, tear down the door to Mother and Page’s bedchamber and beat them both bloody with a chamber pot.
“Hush now, do not worry for it. I shall see that you remain with me, and he can hurt you no longer.”
Lizzie soon fell back asleep, but I could not. I rose before dawn so that I could meet Anthony before he left. However, vicious he’d been, I’d been just as cruel.
He had not expected to see me as he came down the main stair to exit Wulfhall. He jumped a little at the sight of me, white in a night rail and robe.
I grasped his arm and pulled him into the shadows.
“Anne, what are you doing up?” he whispered. I wished I could see his eyes, but they were covered in shadows.
“To where do you go?” I asked.
“London. I’ve a need to make some reports.”
I nodded, even if he could not see my gesture. “I’ve a need for something to be done, Anthony.”
There must have been something in my voice, in my words. He reached out, and the warmth of his fingers on my arms as he rubbed up and down soothed me.
“You know you need only ask, and I will do anything in my power to please you,” he whispered, as if our past spites had never happened.
I looked around, making certain no one was in sight.
“Yes, I know this.” I choked on a sob and then was immediately sickened with myself.
Anthony pulled me close, the flesh of my cheek pressed to his, where I could hear his heartbeat.
“Anne, do you know how much it hurts to see you in agony? As much as I want to despise you, I cannot.” He pushed me back, his face coming close to mine. “You hold a piece of me here.” He pressed his fist to his breast. “Even when you push me away, stomp on me, I come back to you, ever more enthralled with you, filled with love for you.”
I shook my head. “No, Anthony, no! Do not say such things! They are forbidden.” But my voice did not hold much authority. I gritted my teeth.
“I know, you cannot abide by my words. Pains me to no end!” He looked away and was silent once more.
Silence passed between us for minutes, and I waited while he got a hold on his emotions. Finally, he turned back to me. “How can I help you, Anne?”
I pulled him close and whispered in his ear.
When he pulled back, even in the shadows I could see his face was dark with anger at what I had revealed.
“I will serve you with pleasure, my lady.”
“I will owe you a great deal.”
“I’ve only ever asked you for one thing.”
“You’ve asked me for more than one thing.” My heart skipped a beat.
“No, never. You, Anne. You are what I want.”
Before I could protest, he pressed his lips to mind. Hard, demanding. He took his kiss from me. Did not wait for me to argue or give in. He crushed his mouth to mine. Arms wound around my waist, he hauled me against him. My legs shook, and I pressed my hands to his chest, feigning to fight him off. But we both knew it was useless. I wanted his lips on mine just as much as he did. How much his kiss differed from Surrey’s… from Edward’s. Raw passion and emotion.
The scraping of a door from above pulled us apart. Within moments, he was gone, out into the spring dawn and riding hell-bent to London.
With bruised lips, racing thoughts and heart, I glided back to my chambers, knowing all the while that once again, I would have to push Anthony away and crush the love he offered beneath the heel of my slipper.
But what was a broken heart? Had not I lived with the pain of a broken heart and spirit for days? And what of Lizzie? For saint’s sake, nearly everyone I knew had a broken heart of some form. Thinking on this renewed my resolve. I had a husband. A husband who I loved—yet, not in the way I loved Sir Anthony Browne. Was it possible to be in love with two men at once?
I curled my lip in disgust.
A woman of my status did not worry overmuch on such things. I pinched my arm for good measure and walked into my chambers, prepared to begin my day.
What I was not prepared for, was seeing my husband standing in the room and the bed where Lizzie had slept with me empty.