“You did fine,” Cali said.
“You’re the best thing I did. I’m proud of you, baby. Did I tell you that?”
“Every day for the last three years,” Cali whispered, remembering their time together at the end. “You tried so hard to prepare me for your dying. I should have been ready, but I just wanted you to try one more time. The chemo might have worked.”
“It wouldn’t have worked, baby. It would have just made me sicker.” Her mom smiled with so much love that the ache in Cali’s heart lessened. “You can’t prepare yourself for this,” she said. “Plus, that Stan guy messed everything up.”
“I know.” Cali watched her mom inhale and release. “I thought he was nice, but he wasn’t.”
“No, he wasn’t nice. He took advantage of you. But he didn’t kill those two men.”
Cali heard her mom, but almost didn’t believe it. “What?”
“Stan didn’t kill them. It was the other guy, the other band member. And he’s after Stan now. Stan needs money to get out of town. That’s why he’s looking for the bracelet. But he’s still not a nice guy. He loses his temper just like your dad did. And he’s feeling desperate and desperate people do bad things sometimes.”
“How do you know?” Cali asked.
“I told you. There are some benefits to being dead.” Her mom looked around the room and took another drag of her cigarette. “He covered you up before he left, you know.”
“Who?” Cali asked.
“Brit. Your Mr. Reynolds look-alike. He’s a nice guy. He cares about you. You need to listen to him.”
“He’s not mine.”
“He could be yours. You two match. Your auras kept flowing together when you two were sleeping. It was as if they couldn’t keep apart. And when they blended, the colors were amazing. You two go together really well.”
“Our auras? Mom, you don’t even believe in auras.”
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing like dying to make you more open-minded.” She took another drag on the cigarette and her bracelets jingled in the smoky silence.
“He’s a dickhead,” Cali said.
Her mom smiled. “Yeah, but remember, he’s just Little Dickhead.” She chuckled and then sobered. “He’s got a good heart, Cali. You should see him feeding the stray cats. He’s just going through something right now. You’ll help though.”
“I don’t want to help him,” she said, but it was a lie and she felt it in her stomach. She had to learn to be a bitch.
“Yes, you do. You always want to fix people. You wanted to fix my cancer and couldn’t. You want to fix your students. Even Stan. The counselor is only partly right; you might have a little weakness toward men like your father, but more than that, you just want to fix people. You saw Stan as lonely, like yourself, and that’s why you let him in your life. Bad decision, but for a good reason.”
Cali recalled believing that Stan had seemed lonely. She looked away, not wanting to think about Stan. “So I just have to stop caring.”
“No, dear, you don’t stop caring. You just accept that you can’t win them all. But you can’t give up.”
“You gave up,” Cali said. “If you’d done one more treatment, it could have worked. We could have at least had Christmas, New Years, and maybe Easter.”
“It wouldn’t have changed things,” her mother whispered in a voice so low that her words seemed to float away. “I was so tired of fighting cancer.”
Cali turned her head, hoping her mom wouldn’t see the anger that still lingered in her heart. She had wanted one more time.
“You wanted to fix me, dear. We couldn’t win this one. But I have one that you can win. Actually, I have several that you can win. And I’m going to help you. Help you help others. But you’re going to have to listen to me.”
“Listen to what?” Cali asked, her breath shaky.
“Don’t go to lunch. Stay at the school.” Her mother’s voice seemed to float away again.
“What?” Cali asked as a noise tried to shatter the dream.
“Do you hear me, Cali? Don’t go to lunch. And think about that officer–the one who was killed. It’s important, Cali. You need to remember.”
The noise. Cali heard it again. She jack-knifed up and opened her eyes. It took one second to remember where she was. Then she heard something and looked at the door. Her breath caught when she saw the knob turning. Had Stan found her again?
Chapter Seventeen
When the door pushed open, Cali’s scream lodged in her throat.
Then Brit stepped into the room.
Perched up on her knees, staring at him from behind a curtain of blond hair, she managed to close her mouth. She remembered the dream, then she remembered watching the news. “You fell asleep,” she said.
His bad-boy grin teased her sleepy mind. “I don’t normally fall asleep when I have a beautiful woman in bed with me.”
She frowned. “What are you doing here?”