Mr. Imperfect

chapter 13



“You, me, and Call of Duty,” Luke said as he took the steps to the basement three at a time. “You have no idea the withdrawals I’ve been experiencing, man.”

Mike looked at his watch, knowing he needed to be up at 5:00 a.m. for his scheduled wedding shoot. It was a morning wedding, starting with a 5:30 hair appointment for the bride and bridesmaids. Women were insane. There was no other explanation for getting up that early on your own wedding day.

But Mike wasn’t paid to judge. He was paid to document the occasion. If he crashed right then he would get six hours of sleep. But Mike was a realist. No way he was getting out of Call of Duty on Luke’s first night back. He would just have to buck up and face sleep deprivation like a man.

Plus, Luke was a gabber when he played. Whatever mental filter he may have had when focused in on a conversation was completely obliterated when he was in video game fantasy land.

It was time to get some details on Luke’s alleged fiancée.

“You kept the game saved, right?” Luke called up the stairs.

“Exactly as you left it,” Mike said, going down himself.

“Suh-weet!” Luke said, and as soon as Mike turned into the room, Luke tossed him a controller while he waited for the Xbox to fire up. “This game is crack, man. I had dreams about it while I was gone. Vivid, violent dreams.”

“Was this before or after you watched elephants paint self portraits of themselves picking flowers?”

Luke laughed, his eyes already fixated on the flatscreen TV. “Crazy, right? Rori took me there, since art is totally her thing. Couldn’t believe it when I saw those elephants painting with their trunks. Makes you wonder if other animals could paint too, you know?”

“Probably,” Mike said as he debated asking why Luke hadn’t posted any videos of him and Rori together in Thailand. He’d posted other ones, but why had he kept Rori under wraps?

When the Xbox logo flashed on the screens, Luke plopped himself down on the couch. “Thailand is, like, way different. Freakin’ awesome if you’re into architecture and nature and stuff. I got a ninety-minute massage for seven bucks and walked away feeling like Gumbi. You should totally come with me next time, Mike. At the internet cafes they have these skin-eating fish in aquariums at your feet that chomp off all your dead skin and leave your feet baby soft. It’s freakin’ weird, but cool. You gotta try it.”

“Sounds interesting,” Mike said, even though he knew Luke was only listening with one ear now. All that mattered now was the menu for Call of Duty on the screen.

“Yessss!” Luke said, retrieving their saved game. “Game on!”

Joining Luke on the couch, Mike settled in for at least an hour of play. If it just so happened that he walked away with the details on one Rori Townsend, then all the better. He waited until they were in the heat of battle before bringing her up, though.

“So marriage, huh?” Mike asked. “Was there a heat wave over there? Your brain get fried?”

Luke laughed. “Nah, man. She’s totally unbelievable. I couldn’t just let her walk away, you know?”

“But marriage?” Mike repeated. “You’ve known the girl two weeks. What are you thinking?”

Luke actually looked away from the screen for a moment to shoot Mike a look of disbelief. “Are you serious? Did you miss her utter hotness, or do I need to ask her to walk past you again?”

“No, I get that she’s hot,” Mike said, shielding himself from incoming fire on the screen. “But that’s no reason to drop to one knee, if you know what I’m saying.”

“Totally,” Luke agreed, firing away onscreen. “But she’s like perfect on top of it. She speaks six languages fluently and the basics of like six more. Did you know English isn’t even her first language?”

Okay. Impressive, but still not a reason to get married.

“She’s totally rich and has her own career and she’s not way clingy,” Luke continued, blasting through a wall in the game. “She considers marriage to be a type of joint business venture. Did you know that she was actually ready to just marry a guy some matchmaker was going to set her up with, sight unseen? She just wants a guy who will be a good dad that doesn’t mooch her money. It was either grab her for myself or let some matchmaker hook her up with some fifty year-old widower or something freaky like that.”

Mike gaped at his friend, knowing that what he was saying must be impossible. Yet Luke was incapable of lying. A woman like Rori entering into an arranged marriage? That made absolutely no sense. Rori was breathtaking, intelligent, wealthy, and apparently talented to boot. All she needed to do was crook her finger to have her choice of men.

“I’m sure the man wouldn’t have been fifty,” was all Mike could think to say.

“But, dude, she wouldn’t care if he was! How freaky is that? Plus she’s always traveling, and I like to travel, and we had a ton of fun in Thailand. She’s way easy to be around and it totally helps that she can communicate and stuff. She’s beyond perfect, so I had to pounce, right? You just don’t let chicks like that walk away with old dudes who have good portfolios. She needs someone young and fun!” A grin split his face. “Like me.”

Mike knew Luke well enough to know that the gravity of the situation hadn’t fully hit him. Marriage—as in actually being married to someone—wasn’t always fun. It wouldn’t always be easy breezy.

“And do you have feelings for her?” Mike asked, totally feeling like a girl when the words left his mouth.

“Like love?” Luke asked, nose crinkling. “What is that anyway? I’m not even sure I know. But she’s hot, she’s nice, she’s fun, and she’s loaded. What am I supposed to do? Nit pick?”

No. At least Mike wouldn’t be if he was in Luke’s position. But he also wouldn’t be in the basement playing Call of Duty if Rori were his fiancée. His hands would definitely be otherwise occupied. Which led Mike to his next question. The one that made his hands sweat enough that he had to swipe them on his pants to keep a firm grip on the controller.

“And I assume she’s good in bed?” And if so, what the hell are you doing hanging with me?

“Haven’t gotten there yet,” Luke said, firing incessantly. “Seemed weird to jump right in, you know? One day we’re just all friendly and touring temples, and the next I’m just supposed to jump her?” He shook his head, with a distasteful look on his face. “Just seemed predatory, you know? We’ve kissed a bit. Her mouth is awesome, but I want her to want it when we go there. Or at least I want to take her on a date first, you know?”

And yet, rather than seducing the woman, Luke was playing a video game. Just the thought of having the possibility of being in alone in a room with Rori made Mike’s mind blank out a little bit. Call of Duty didn’t compare.

“Besides,” Luke added. “What would Kris say?”

“Kris?” Mike sputtered, remembering his sister’s tear-filled confession. He could only imagine what she might be saying if she were a fly on the wall of this conversation.

“Yeah. She’d beat me black and blue if I just jumped in the sack.”

“With your fiancée?”

“Yeah, but…” Luke pursed his lips, switching his character’s weapons onscreen. “You just don’t get it. If I’m in this for the long haul, I don’t want to mess things up by rushing everything.”

It was a very un-Luke thing to say, which had Mike wondering if Luke really did love Rori in his own way.

“Plus—and don’t tell this to a soul, man—but I need a little bit to wrap my head around everything, you know? Once I sleep with her, then it’s all real.”

Ah, and there it was. A reason that made sense amidst all the insanity. Now Mike totally got it.

“Well, I think it’s obvious—” Just then Mike’s phone beeped with a text. Saved by the bell.

“You didn’t turn that off?” Luke complained, glancing at the source of the sound.

“Sorry, man,” Mike said, digging into his pocket and seeing he had a text from his sister. Emergency meeting. Stat. No excuses. My room. Window’s open.

Two-word sentences from Kris? That wasn’t a good sign.

“Is it Kris?” Luke asked. “Tell her you’re not coming over. We’re busy.”

His phone beeped again and new words filled the screen. NOW!! No excuses or the Xbox dies!

Mike turned the phone so Luke could see it. “She knows us too well, man.”

Luke scowled. “So not fair. She knows it’s my first night back.”

Mike shrugged, pausing his player in the game. “It’s your fault you dropped the engagement bomb shell. You can’t expect her to just act like it’s any other night.”

Luke paused as well. “You sure that text is about me and not her current boyfriend, or whatever? I heard her mention that she was dating someone.”

“Nah, they’re good,” Mike said, not mentioning any names. No way he was going to open the can of worms called Caleb. That was Kris’s territory.

“Hmm,” Luke said, eyes looking at nothing. “Figured she’d find a new one while I was gone.”

Was it Mike’s imagination, or did Luke sound a bit put out? And was this the first time he’d sounded pouty when talking about Kris’s beaus, or was Mike just hearing it for the first time? Or was he just hoping he heard it so he had a reason to break up his friend’s engagement?

Man, when had stuff gotten so complicated?

“I’d better go,” Mike said, texting Kris.

“I can’t clear this level without you,” Luke whined.

“Oh, c’mon. You’ll have an army of online buddies within five minutes. And either I go now, or we both deal with an unhappy Kris come morning.”

“Fine,” Luke groaned. “But she owes me. Big time!”

“I’ll be sure to pass on the message.”

“Do,” he said, already on the task of replacing Mike.

Curious as to what had his sister calling an emergency meeting, Mike ran up the stairs and headed over to his parents’ house.