Mistakes Were Made

She’d also impulse bought several chocolate hearts at the register, little fifty-cent candies. Cassie had eaten three yesterday. The last heart, covered in red foil, lay on her bedside table. Parker had made a face when Cassie chose the white chocolate hot cocoa flavor, so that was the box Cassie opened now, dropping the chocolate heart inside before closing it again. She taped it shut before she could change her mind.

Cassie wanted to kiss Erin again. She didn’t know what the fuck Erin was thinking last night, but she didn’t care. She didn’t need the why. The reasons didn’t matter so much as the feeling of Erin’s lips against hers, Erin’s tongue brushing soft against her lower lip, Erin’s hands on her hips and her leg between Cassie’s, giving her something to grind against. It was dumb, to have done it with Parker down the hall, but Cassie could admit that was half the fun—there was something about the potential of getting caught. Or maybe that wasn’t what made it thrilling—maybe it was more that Erin wanted to kiss her enough to do it while her daughter was nearby. Like Cassie was irresistible.

It wasn’t a competition—it was unhinged to think of it as a competition, but—Parker was perfect. Smart and talented and rich enough to go to private school, but from a place where the public schools were good enough she didn’t have to. Her parents were divorced, sure, but she had them both, loving her, supporting her, paying for her to go to college. Cassie could barely afford community college, much less Keckley, which she could attend only because she’d gotten a full ride. Parker’s great-great-whatever uncle had signed the Declaration of Independence. Cassie’s mom had told her so little about her dad that Cassie suspected she didn’t know who had fathered her. Parker had a solid hometown friend group, and easily fit into friend groups in college. Cassie had Acacia. Cassie had had a boyfriend of three years who hadn’t hesitated to try to get in Parker’s pants. She had friends who left along with him. The only person who had always been there for Cassie was Acacia, and even she had fallen under Parker’s thrall. Which wasn’t even bad—Parker was great, and Cassie loved her, too. It was just a lot.

Erin kissing Cassie felt like a win. Seth might have thought their relationship was worthless enough to throw away on Parker, but Erin wanted to kiss her enough that it didn’t matter Parker was down the hall.

All the trying Cassie had been doing had gone out the window. Why try not to be into Erin if Erin was into her? It had been less trying and more pretending, anyway, because she couldn’t not be into this woman. You could cut yourself on her jawline. Skin like porcelain, so soft and delicate Cassie forgot she wasn’t supposed to know what it felt like. Her crooked smile and that mouth. That mouth that she kissed her with.

So why should Cassie pretend? Sure, Parker probably wouldn’t be cool with it, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. And anyway, like Cassie had reminded Acacia, Parker had told her she could bone whoever she wanted.

Not that Erin and Cassie were going to bone while sharing a roof with Parker. A kiss was one thing. Then again, Parker did sleep late …

As Cassie considered the possibility of morning sex with Erin while Parker slept, the door swung open and Parker herself came bounding in.

“Merry Christmas!” she shouted, vaulting onto the bed.

Cassie had finished her wrapping, so she climbed back into bed beside Parker, who was grinning ear to ear. Cassie couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm.

“Merry Christmas to you.”

“I brought you your stocking,” Parker said, handing over a red and white knit stocking. “My mom always hung them on my door handle when I was little so I could play with smaller gifts and not wake her and my dad up super early for bigger presents.”

Cassie made a noise of acknowledgment, much more focused on the stocking in her hand and the fact that Erin got her gifts. They were simple and small: lotion, nail polish, chocolates. Her grin got bigger anyway.

“Don’t you love Christmas?” Parker said.

“You know what? It’s not bad.”

They headed downstairs, still in their new pajamas. Parker took the steps two at a time and disappeared around the corner. Cassie heard her and Erin wish each other a Merry Christmas. By the time Cassie made it all the way downstairs, Parker was at the kitchen island choosing between flavors of Danish. Erin was at the kitchen window, looking out at fresh snow that had fallen overnight. She turned around and smiled. Cassie wasn’t pathetic enough to say her heart skipped a beat, but—well, it was something.

“Merry Christmas!” Erin said, and that smile wasn’t any more or less than friendly, but it still took Cassie a second to say Merry Christmas back.

Erin’s dark brown hair was unkempt. It’d been down in gorgeous waves for the party yesterday, and it was still beautiful, just slept on, a little flat on one side. Cassie couldn’t deal with how good she looked, even early in the morning, but she couldn’t look away, either. Erin wore a white short-sleeve shirt and black yoga pants that clung to her in a way that made Cassie jealous. In her hands was a coffee mug, and there was another on the kitchen island next to a glass of milk and the Danishes. Parker had settled on blueberry and grabbed the glass of milk. Cassie set her stocking down and reached for the coffee, which already had the right amount of cream in it.

“Thanks for the presents,” she said.

Erin tilted her head, looking confused. “What presents?”

Cassie gestured to the stocking.

“I’m pretty sure Santa is the one who fills the stockings,” Erin said with a little smirk.

Parker laughed, sending crumbs of Danish across the kitchen. She covered her mouth.

Cassie arched an eyebrow at Erin. “Seriously?”

Erin shrugged and turned away to refill her coffee mug. Cassie watched her pour and rather liked the idea that she got her gifts without wanting credit.

They moved to the living room for the rest of breakfast. Cassie took the love seat, and Erin and Parker shared the couch. Parker’s first pastry had already disappeared; she had a plate with her second. Cassie was slowly eating an apple Danish, looking at the lights on the tree and trying not to think about how Erin kissed. She wanted her so much it felt like it had to be noticeable. Like cartoon heart eyes or something. How was Cassie supposed to be around her without it being obvious?

As soon as Parker finished eating, she grabbed presents from under the tree and started distributing them. Erin and Parker both had a few boxes; Cassie had a small box and an envelope.

“I’ll go first,” Parker said.

Cassie laughed at her.

“Don’t you think Cassie should go first?” Erin asked. “Since she’s our guest?”

“Nope!” Parker grinned and ripped into her first present. “Shoes!” She exclaimed as she revealed the box. Her enthusiasm dropped noticeably when she lifted off the top. “Tennis shoes. Great.”

“I know you don’t think you need them, but you have to take care of yourself,” Erin said. “You’re always on your feet drawing or painting. You need good shoes.”

Parker didn’t argue. “Thanks, Mom. Cassie, you’re up.”

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