A near-silent sigh lifted his rib cage. 'There was a priest at school who I wished would try. Father Mike was his name. I had a terrible crush on him: my first. He coached the soccer team. He was a good guy. He took an interest in me even though I was a hell of a smart-mouth back then, if you can imagine that.' I smiled and petted his chest.
'Father Mike was the youngest priest there. He had a great body - tall, slim - and a funny, friendly face. Once in a while they'd let him handle Sunday service. I'd get an erection before the first hymn was done, which made all that kneeling and rising a challenge.' He laughed through his nose. 'Man, I had it bad for him. That's how I knew I liked boys as much as girls.'
Or more, I thought, but I kept the comment to myself. 'Did he ever try anything?'
Sean shook his head. 'No. But I think he knew. I think he felt sorry for me. My second year, he threw me together with an older boy named Dave Woodbury. A real loser, I thought. He was a maths genius, and gay as the day is long. He didn't even try to hide it. Turned out he was one of the coolest people at the school. He knew who he was and didn't give a damn what anyone thought. He became my mentor - for sex and mathematics. I lost every friend I had when I started hanging around with him, but even then I knew he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He moved to Arizona after he graduated, though, and we lost touch.' 'Was he into games?'
'Nah. Dave was kind of conservative. I got involved in that later. Some of my friends at college were into it. They'd drag me along to some scene and all I'd think was: this is so lame. I could do better than this. So one day I tried.'
'And the rest is history?'
He laughed. 'What can I say? I have a gift. I have to admit, though, if the person I'm mastering doesn't
interest me, I get really bored, really fast. I like to deal with a bottom who's strong, who won't get fucked up over it. People can, you know. They let it take over their lives. They use it as a way to avoid real interactions. I steer clear of people like that. On the other hand, if I do find someone who interests me between the ears, mastering them doesn't seem so important - like with you.'
I looked up at him, surprised and flattered. His eyes twinkled as he rucked a stray curl behind my ear. He seemed pleased to have taken me off guard. 'I don't want you to bend to me,’ he said, 'even supposing I could make you.'
'What do you want?'
'Damned if I know.' The covers rustled as he tried to get comfortable. 'No. That's not true. I know what I want. I'm just afraid I won't get it.'
I hugged his ribs. 'What do you want?'
He stared unblinking at the ceiling. 'I want to be free, but I don't want to be alone.'
"That's a tough one,’ I said, helpless to hide the rush of emotion in my voice.
He knuckled the top of my head. 'Don't you worry about me, Miss Kitty. Some people never discover what they want. I'm one step ahead, this way.'
Despite his words, he sounded sad. I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder. He was a good person. He deserved to live his dream. I was sorry I couldn't be the one to help him.
'I'm glad I know you,’ I said, my throat still too tight for comfort.
'I know,’ he said. 'So am I.'
Two weeks later, Sean moved into one of the tower blocks on Rittenhouse Square
. It was an exclusive place with lots of room, but he left his weight-lifting equipment in my basement. That's how I knew I'd see him again.
He dropped by relatively often, sometimes to work out, and sometimes for a more interesting form of exercise. We probably had more sex than some married people. Despite this, we behaved more like friends than a couple. I never asked who else he was seeing and he never took exception to my infrequent dates - my very infrequent dates.
We also became business bedfellows. A month passed before I was sure in my mind, but I did make Sean my partner. He walked out on the lawyers the very next day, which scared me, though he expressed no doubts whatsoever. Together, we opened a second bookshop, this one called Mostly Mystery. Like Mostly Romance, it became as much meeting place as shop, a space where people went to see and be seen. Sean's business savvy proved invaluable, along with his Halloran work ethic. Both shops did so well I increased his power-profit share to 60,’40 - in my favour, of course, but he didn't complain.
Then we went on-line.
Sean and I both bit our nails over that. Would people buy from a cyberspace genre bookshop? Could we give it the same cosy feel we gave our real-world sites? Actually, the real question turned out to be: could we keep up with all the orders?
One morning I woke up, rubbed my sleepy eyes, and realised I had nearly half a million dollars in personal assets. The idea floored me, along with the fact that, if business continued as it was, I might be a millionaire before I turned forty.