chapter Thirty-Two
Lauren watched her son as he came out of his dorm room the next morning, his hand firmly clasping Denise’s. The tension and wariness that had been tightly wound into his body the night before was no longer there. The large hickey that was present on the woman’s neck was proof of just how he had relaxed. Truth be told she couldn’t remember the last time he had walked around without tension in his shoulders and his eyes shifting this way and that. It saddened her that she’d never seen her son like this before.
“What do you say we grab some breakfast and go sit outside?” he asked as he ambled up to her. He seemed at peace with himself, much more comfortable in his body than she could ever remember him being.
She looked into his eyes, trying to gauge whether he really wanted to give her a second chance at being his mother. Her heart couldn’t take it if he wasn’t truly interested in this. What she saw there made her hopeful. It looked as if he wanted this as much as she did. “That’s fine with me. Is your lady coming with us?”
The look he bestowed on Denise was one of pure adoration and love. To be honest, it made Lauren jealous. Even early on in her marriage to William, he had never looked at her like that. Liam pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the palm. “If she wants, and if you don’t care.”
“I don’t. I would love it if you would come with us.” Lauren was eager for anything that would allow her a few precious moments with the son she didn’t know. Anything that would move their relationship forward.
Denise smiled prettily, “Then I would love to.”
The trio walked into the kitchen and caught a glimpse of Tyler sitting at the table, a coffee cup in front of him. If she wasn’t mistaken, that coffee cup looked like an amazingly real replica of a skull. His face was serious like it always was, and Denise could see lines of fatigue around his eyes and mouth.
“How’s Meredith?” she asked, gasping as he lifted the cup up to his mouth and took a sip. It was, in fact, what she assumed it was. A small skull, but a skull nonetheless.
He shuddered as the caffeine coursed through his body. He hoped like hell this would wake him up because he had spent most of the previous night sitting in watch over Meredith. “Rough night and what’s wrong with you?”
“Is that a skull?” she asked, her brows knitting together. “It looks disturbingly real. Is it?”
He smiled. She’d never seen the man smile before and it completely changed his face. It made her want to do anything he asked. It was very disconcerting, and she almost chuckled as Liam came up behind her and put an arm around her shoulder. For the first time it was obvious that Tyler was the ‘make your panties drop’ man of the group. Funny, she hadn’t pegged him as that man before.
“People assume that because I’m Native American it is, but no one really knows for sure,” his eyes twinkled with mischief.
“Liam is it real?” She asked, tilting her head to the side with the question.
“Don’t know, darlin’. He won’t even tell me. He plays things close to the vest sometimes. He just smiles at people and tells them that it may or may not be cursed.”
“You mean he’s your best friend and he doesn’t tell you everything?” She asked, leaning back to look him in the eye.
“We’re not a bunch of girls, baby. We’re men, we don’t have to tell each other everything. There’s nothing wrong with keeping some things a mystery.”
She frowned. That wasn’t at all the answer she was looking for. Denise really wanted to know if it was cursed or not.
Liam grabbed her hand and lead her out of the kitchen, having gotten breakfast while she contemplated the presumed cursed skull coffee cup. Curious still, she looked back at the big man and shivered when he winked at her. It was pretty obvious he would never tell.
Outside on the back porch, the three of them sat in relative silence eating breakfast. Denise’s stomach churned, not sure how this would work out for Liam. He was hurt because of things that had happened in the past, and that she understood. But as a mother herself, she also understood that sometimes things just were. You couldn’t gauge how your kids would react to everything, and sometimes split decisions had to be made. She hoped with everything in her that the both of them – Liam and Lauren – could come through this with a little better understanding of each other.
“Before you say anything,” Lauren began. “Can I explain to you where I came from as your mother?”
Denise felt the tension roll off Liam’s body, so she reached over and grabbed his hand. The gentle squeeze she gave told him that he had to be patient. He had to hear her side before he went off half-cocked. Because he would expect Drew to give his own mother that much respect, he cleared his throat and shifted. “Go ahead,”
“When your Dad and I got married, I didn’t sign on to be an old lady. I signed on to be his wife. Sure he’d always liked motorcycles and the culture, but I never once thought he would want to embrace it or live it. I was used to us going to the get-togethers and then coming home and being a family. I didn’t expect what all this entailed. For a while I was okay with it. The club was our main source of income in the middle to late ‘70s. It put food on the table, but there wasn’t all this illegal shit going on. When we had Sharon, I breathed a sigh of relief. A daughter wasn’t going to be expected to take over an MC. She might be expected to be with a member, but the legacy is not going to be hers.”
As a mother herself, Denise got where this was going. It was going to hurt Liam, she was sure, but she could understand where his mother was coming from. Knowing he would need compassion, she rubbed his hand softly, hoping to calm him down. Denise felt sorrow for the two of them. She could almost bet how this was going to play out.
Lauren fought back tears as her chin quivered. It was going to hurt her deeply to say the next words, but she knew that she had to make Liam understand. Only with the truth could there be understanding. She had learned that lesson the hard way over the years.
“When I had you, my world ended. The day you came home from the hospital, your Dad started talking about grooming you. They were starting to get into the illegal side of things, and the only thing I could think of was that you’d never have a life. I couldn’t bring myself to be as close to you as I was to Sharon. I knew that one day you’d be taken from me. I knew that one day I would have to hand you over to this club, and I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear the thought of you not being my little boy anymore. I’m sure you don’t remember, but I tried to do other things with you that didn’t involve the club. One day when I took you to the Science Museum in Nashville, you came home and told William you wanted to be an astronaut. That was the first time he beat me.” Lauren struggled through this part, not particularly wanting to tell Liam what stock he came from. But again, she had learned the truth would set her free.
Denise could see Liam’s teeth clench and his jaw tighten. This was hard for him. Not that he had any illusions about William, but he really did not like violence towards women if it could be helped. She reached over and put her hand on his thigh, offering her support. It appeared to be equally hard for Lauren as she fought valiantly against the tears that streaked her face.
“He told me that your legacy was this club. You were to have no other dreams, and if I couldn’t get on board with that, then I could leave. I was to leave you and Sharon and never look back. I’m sure you don’t remember. You were so young. I really hope you don’t remember in hindsight. We left that night. I grabbed all our stuff and even took just you, not Sharon. Just you, Liam. I knew that if I left you here, he would destroy all the good things that made you the sweet little boy you were. We ran for two days until William and the club caught up to us. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. Not wanting any more harm to come to you, I decided as a mother that loved you the best thing I could do was leave.”
Leaning over, Denise placed her hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. “She does love you. She did everything for you. Please tell me you can understand that.”
When she pulled away, this big man had tears in his eyes and his bottom lip quivered. He sniffed heavily. “I don’t remember any of that,” he whispered, coughing loudly to cover up his display of emotion.
“I know, and I don’t blame you at all, Liam. You were a child. I made a decision. It was never about right or wrong, because the decision I made wasn’t truthfully right. Any mother worth anything would not have left her child. I regret it every day, especially when I see the man you’ve become. I know I had no hand in that.”
“He’s a good man,” Denise defended. No matter what they saw him do as the VP of the club, he was such a different person when they were alone. So tender, and emotional, and willing to be the type of man she had always wanted as the father to her children.
“He is,” Lauren agreed. “But this club is going to eat him up and spit him out before long. I don’t know that he has the heart to do the things they will eventually ask him to do.”
It scared Liam because he’d always thought that of himself too. He’d hoped he’d hidden it well within the club. He’d never backed down from anything, but it always weighed heavily on his mind.
“I’ll always do what I have to do.”
Lauren scooted forward and tentively grabbed her son’s hand. “But at what cost, Liam?”
“Whatever the cost is, I have to pay it. When you left me here, this became my legacy. I’ve done too much to walk away now,” he explained as gently as he could. “Like you said, decisions were made. None of them were good. Now I have to live with it, and I’m okay with that.”
“I’m not,” Lauren whispered.
It took everything in Liam’s body to say the words that came out of his mouth next. “Mom, I forgive you, and I understand now. Maybe we can work on having a relationship.”
“I would like that very much,” her smile shook.
Denise fought back her own show of emotion as the two of them embraced for the first time in nearly twenty-five years. She was happy she’d been able to be a part of this. It had meant the world to her.
“Did you work everything out with your mother?”
Liam saw red as he saw his dad for the first time since the conversation he’d had with said mother. Walking up to him, he balled his fist and hit him with everything he had carried around, causing the older man’s head to snap back.
“The f*ck?” he yelled, spitting out blood.
“How could you do that? How could you make a mother choose?”
William turned on his wife quickly. “What kind of mother even chooses?”
“You’re not doing this to me now. I’m not a little kid that you can play like a guitar anymore. Our relationship – if you can even call it that – will never be the same, Dad.” He spit the last word out with thinly veiled disgust.
“I did the best I could,” William argued.
“No, you did what was best for the club,” Liam roared.
Liam knew in that moment that things would have to change. Club and family were interchangeable but at some point a man had to put his family first. It was time to make some changes with the younger generation. He had to make them see what they would be giving up if they didn’t think about life outside of the club.
“I chose to keep you when she threw you away.”
“That you did Dad, but you didn’t give a shit about your son and don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”