"Just give it up. You lost me the day you dated her."
Our relationship was a roller-coaster, especially toward the end. Guilt must have eaten him up. He suspected everything I did, and thought I was cheating on him with everyone I talked to. Probably wanted to make himself feel better since he was the one cheating on me.
He even picked a fight with a twelve-year-old.
He never trusted me.
Not like Darius. Darius trusts me. I felt something sting behind my eyelids as I remembered the speech he gave me, the way my stomach rolls every time he touches me and the way my heart skips a beat when he kisses me.
I do love him and I have to tell him. So he didn't get me the dog I wanted, but he got me the peacock. He did small things for me that made me happy. I felt a shiver run through me as the alcohol vibe started to wear off. Did someone turn the aircon on?
I had to find him. I staggered up, holding the bed frame till I regained my balance and turned around.
"Ivory!" The voice was more demanding and harsh as James walked to my side.
"Please."
I sighed, and wish he’d see things my way. "James, look. What we had was good while it lasted. But you were too demanding. You were more like a bodyguard and an annoying father than a boyfriend to me. You made your choice and I made mine. You need to let it go and not let it bother you."
James's eyes turned darker and I flinched, remembering the times he got angry at me. They never ended well. He would always leave slamming the door or destroying something.
"You listen to me," he snarled, stepping forward. I put some space between us and looked at the door. Five metres at the most. If I could distract him, I could get away from him.
I could smell the alcohol on him. How much did he have?
He placed a hand on my left shoulder, making me flinch as he pushed me against the wall.
The other hand was raised in my face and for a second I thought he was going to hit me, but instead he waved a finger back and forth like an adult would do to a child when they got in trouble.
Except this time I did nothing wrong.
"If you think that man remotely even likes you, you're dreaming. Look at you. You're pathetic. No one can love you the way I do. You're not even pretty."
I flinched. That hurt.
But it shouldn't.
I closed my eyes for a brief second, counting to ten. Just pretend this is some jealous whore.
"Do you know your beloved husband has a string of girlfriends in every town he goes to?"
Lies.
"They're all prettier than you."
That could be true, if the first statement was true. But because the first was not true, then this one was not as well.
"You're just someone to keep his bed warm."
Well, not true. He usually kept my bed warm, but you can blame my parents for that.
"He –"
"Oh, shut up, James," I snapped, not wanting to hear anything else. And I really needed fresh air, now. "Would you stop being so jealous of him? You make it seem like he was having an affair with his secretary who turned out to be male. And even if Darius was having an affair or a string of girlfriends, guess what, I don't care. Because between using his three phones and sleeping, I don't think he has time for a quickie like you can fit in your business trips."
This time it was his turn to flinch. I figured out what happened on those trips as soon as I caught him with her.
"Is that your final decision?" he asked.
I was surprised. So was he finally letting this go?
"Yes."
"Fine." He stepped aside and I stared at him. Was he really letting me go? Why was I thinking about this? I wanted this. I was just surprised he could act humanely.
I took a step forward, just to test him. His eyes were closed, his hands on his hips, and I turned around.
"Wait."
I turned around. "What?" I asked, looking at him, and remembered something. "I want you to stay away from us, and our business, understand?"
James nodded. "I will but I have one last question for you."
"What?"
"Do you feel nothing for me?"
I stared at James, not wanting to hurt his feelings. I swallowed hard. "Nothing," I said, telling him the one hundred percent truth.
He closed the distance between us in a second, lowering his head to mine. And before I could react, he placed his lips on mine, making me gag. His lips tasted like whiskey and Cuban cigars, making bile rise up from my stomach. I shoved my hands against his chest to push him away.
"You felt nothing?"
"God, you are sick."
He grabbed my wrists in a painful way, making my eyes sting with humiliation, hurt and pain.
"Let go."
I stomped at his foot with the heel of my shoe, making him let go of one hand, but still holding one of my wrists as he doubled over.
I raised my knee, hoping I hit something vital. I heard him groan as he let go of my other hand. It worked.
I ran to the door, blindly reaching for the knob and opening it. I heard him scream my name behind me and his pleas for me to stop.