Marital Bitch (Men with Badges)

Chapter TWENTY FOUR

(Brad)

Colleen has a problem and in rides Brad.

WE'RE HAVING A baby. Well, we're trying to have a baby. Hell, we might already have one on the way. I have no clue. Apparently, I can't just man up and tell her that I'm in love with her, but I can tell her I want to have a baby with her. This probably says something about me.

"I can't wait to go shopping for maternity clothes!" Colleen blurts out from across the room. And it is comments like that that remind me how very real our decision is. Talking about having a baby is one thing, but having sex without any protection in order to have a baby is quite another. How did I get into this, again?

Oh. Yeah. I thought that a baby would make Colleen happy. I know that a baby will make me happy. I know that I want a baby with Colleen, but I have the nagging feeling that this just isn't a good idea. Which all leads me to wonder how far am I willing to go to make her happy.

"Dude," Colleen says. I look up at her to find that she's got her t-shirt pulled up and she's looking at her profile in the full-length mirror. Well, she doesn't look pregnant yet. "You think I'm already knocked up?" She smiles. I shrug. Damn if I know. I've never knocked anyone up before.

"You really want to have a baby with me?” I ask her seriously. She drops her shirt and walks over to me. She isn’t smiling, she looks very serious. She places her hands on my cheeks and smiles softly.

“Bradley Patrick,” she says nary above a whisper. “There is nobody else I’d rather be married to, or have a baby with, or be tied to in such a permanent way.” And what the hell does she mean by that?

“As a friend, right?” I say, giving her a chance to say something. The words she says don’t sound like things friends say to each other. I should know, I’ve been saying shit like that to her for years and I’ve never said anything close to that to any of my girlfriends. She’s the only one. She’s always been the only one. I thought Heather might have been a good substitute for a while, but she never even came close to being my pretty girl.

Her face falls. I swear to God she looks like she’s about to cry. “Is there something you need to tell me?” I ask, trying to get her to say what seems to be written all over her face.

“You’re my best friend,” She leans up and kisses the corner of my mouth.

“We better go,” I mumble and turn to walk out of the room.

“WHAT’S GOING ON with you and Colleen?” Dan asks. I take a long pull of my beer and think about that for a moment and I come up with nothing.

“I have no clue,” I say, “she’s bipolar.” Dan laughs.

“She’s not the only one,” Charlotte plops down on the picnic bench beside me and snorts at her own comment. She thinks she’s real funny, always has.

“Where’s my girl?” I nudge my older sister and cock an eyebrow at her. She points across the yard. My niece, Sarah, is pulling on Colleen’s t-shirt and gabbing away. Colleen is talking to her and making her laugh. I involuntarily smile at the sight. She may be a damn difficult human being but she is going to be an amazing mom. I’ve never doubted that.

“You never come by and visit anymore, little brother,” Charlotte pokes me in my arm. “I guess you’re busy being all married now, right?” I sigh.

“I guess,” I mumble. She opens her mouth to say something else but is distracted by my nephew, George, who is trying to climb over the back fence and get into a neighboring yard. He’s eight now. What are you going to do? Immediately, she rushes over to him and starts yanking him down. I love that boy.

“So, what’s really going on, son?” Dan gives me the side eye. “I’ve been a cop for a long time, kid. I know when something’s up.” I look away, doing my best to avoid his question.

“We’re trying to have a baby,” I mutter, trying to keep Dan from asking anymore questions. The way I figure it is if I’m talking about sex with his daughter, then maybe he’ll drop the subject. No dice.

“Look,” he leans in and rubs his mustache. “I know this whole marriage thing was supposed to be a joke and a bunch of shit went down, okay? I know you guys didn’t intend to stay married. But my wife doesn’t know; and all she can talk about is how happy she is now that you two are together. When I say happy, Bradley,” he trails off and gives me the most serious expression I’ve ever seen him give anybody—including a suspect. “I mean happy and when she’s happy, Bradley, I’m happy. Don’t make me unhappy, Bradley.” I laugh a little nervously at his statement.

“How in the hell do you know that?” I hiss. Dan smiles proudly. Darla walks over and hands him a beer. He grins up at her.

“Here’s your beer, pop,” she says and walks away. I catch the smile he gives her and I just know who the rat is. The rat is Darla. Dan catches my look and straightens up.

“So, have you told her yet?” Dan sighs happily as he opens his fresh beer.

“Told her what?” I ask, claiming ignorance.

“You mean to tell me that you married my daughter and now you’re trying to get her pregnant—“ he pauses, a disgusted look crosses his face as he realizes the conversation he’s stepped into, “and you haven’t even told her you’re in love with her?” I look away from him. He already knows the answer.

“What, you don’t want me to knock her up?” I try to divert the conversation. He just shakes his head and stands up as my dad walks over.

“Your son is an idiot,” Dan looks John square in the eye and shakes his head.

“Yours isn’t any better,” my dad laughs and points to James who is, on a dare from my own mother, chugging two beers at once.

“Louise probably shouldn’t of drank with that one,” Dan smirks and walks away. My dad laughs and sits down beside me.

“Is Colleen pregnant?” I’m surprised by his question. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. I stand up and shift my weight from foot to foot. Sensing my discomfort, he stands as well.

"She ain't knocked up," I say defiantly. My dad cocks his head to the side and looks over my shoulder. I turn around and see what's holding his attention. Colleen. She looks amazing, and there in her arms is Alex. I watch, captivated, as she rubs noses with him. "Well," dad says, "by the way she's looking at that kid, if she isn't pregnant now, she will be soon."

“Why would you even ask that?” I ask. I know I’m snapping at him, when really he’s done nothing wrong, but damn it. Why the hell is he asking?

“Calm down, son,” he raises his arms in the air, surrendering. “I just ask because she’s over there asking your mother how long it took her to get pregnant with you and the girls; seems like she wants a baby to me.”

“Yeah,” I grumble, “she wants a f*cking baby, alright.”

Somehow, it wasn’t clear to me before; but it sure is now. Colleen wants to be a mother. She wants to have a child. Whatever I saw on her face earlier wasn’t what I thought it was. For a moment there I thought I saw love in her eyes. But it wasn’t love, after all. I’m just a means to an end and as her best friend, who better to do the deed?

She doesn’t want a baby with me, she just wants a baby and I’m a willing participant. I just can’t believe I didn’t see it before now. All of her “attempts” to be a real couple that had my head spinning were, after all, a f*cking ploy. What was it she said back in Vegas? She thought she’d be married by now?

Colleen has a problem and in rides Brad, the ever-willing participant. I’m sick of it. I just can’t keep going on and giving and giving. I just can’t be her rock when she needs me and a pebble that she trips over when she’s gotten what she wants. She is my entire world. My first memory in life is of her; and every important moment in my life has her in it—my pretty girl—and I want my last moment to be with her as well. But I’m so f*cking sick of taking scraps and the little tiny bits that she throws me.

I’m done.

“Uncle Brad!” Sarah yells as she runs toward me. I bend down and scoop her into my arms. At the age of seven, she’s getting pretty big. She’s tall for her age, but so skinny; and she has this bright red hair, just like her mom.

“What’cha doing?” she asks with a toothy grin. I chuckle at her enthusiasm. I’m pretty sure she is the Energizer Bunny, because she never stops going.

“Just thinking,” I say.

“Oh,” she says, “well stop it. You look like you have to poop!” A real laugh slips through and I throw my head back. Sarah is never one to think before speaking; a problem which will likely get her in trouble when she gets older. She and Colleen may not share any genetic material, but they are so much alike in so many ways.

“Who’s that?” Sarah screams and tugs on my arm. I look to the sliding back door and see Vicky of all people coming out. Darla rushes over to her and hugs her. Vicky looks shocked but smiles anyway. I spot Colleen, Alex still in her arms, eyeing Vicky. She’s furious. I watch, alarmed, as Colleen stomps over to Vicky. At the last moment she plasters a fake smile on her face and gives Vicky a dainty hug.

Oh, so we’re back to that game, again?

“Brad!” Vicky calls to me, looking terrified as Colleen talks to her about God only knows what.

“Oh! The pretty lady knows you, Uncle Brad! Let’s go talk to her!” Sarah shouts, pulling me toward a still-stunned Vicky. We walk over and the look of terror fades from Vicky’s face.

“You’re pretty!” Sarah shouts. Colleen shoots her a dirty look. Is she seriously giving the stink eye to a seven year old?

“Um, thank you,” Vicky says, smiling at Sarah. “So, Brad,” she says through clenched teeth, “you invited me to this little family party?” I scratch my head and think back. Did I invite her? No, I’m pretty sure I didn’t.

“Vic!” James shouts and rushes over. A loud burp escapes him and the smell of hot dog and beer fills the immediate area. Damn, that stinks. Vicky snorts at him and gives him a quick hug. “You got my invite!” James is bouncing on his heels, completely oblivious to the glare his sister is shooting him.

“I did,” Vicky says, “any reason you invited me to a family event, James? Not that I’m not happy to be included,” she clarifies, but it’s obvious that she feels a little nervous about being here. I’m willing to bet that Colleen is most of the reason for that. Colleen gives her brother a questioning look. She, too, wants to know what James was thinking.

“Yeah, James,” Colleen snaps. At the sound of her voice, Vicky’s head snaps to her and the two women glare at each other. This is ridiculous. I won’t have Colleen ruining this barbeque just because she has to be a complete bitch when Vicky is around. I still haven’t forgiven her for what happened the last time they saw each other. Deciding not to chance another juice throwing incident, I grab Colleen by her elbow and escort her across the yard. Her head spins around to give Vicky a hateful look as I drag her away.

“You need to knock it off,” I growl.

“Or what?” Colleen crosses her arms over her chest and she smirks. I back her up against the fence and place my hands beside her head.

“You listen to me and you listen good, Frasier—you are going to be nice to Vicky because she’s my friend,” I say through clenched teeth. “You know, friends, like we are. Except that I’m not trying to knock her up. So please, be a little decent toward her, will you?” Colleen scowls at me, her jaw set and her chin in the air. She pokes my chest.

“And you listen to me, Patrick. I’m a Patrick now, too, so quit calling me Frasier! And as for Barbie Bitch over there, I’ll be nice to her when she stops trying to jump my husband!” I laugh at her defense.

“But I’m your husband in name only, remember? We’re friends, right, Frasier?” I’m trying to let it go, but I can’t. I’m just her friend.

A stray tear slips down her cheek. She brushes it away just as quickly. Here she goes again trying to make me feel bad for yelling at her. “Just do me a favor this time, and don’t sleep with her, okay?” I turn around and walk away. Colleen rushes past me into the house, sniffling all the way. I don’t even care. I’m just tired of her attitude.