CHAPTER 19
Ferro knew Drakos had saved his life by shoving Violet out of the cell and locking him inside. As much as he hated to admit it, Violet had been a threat. He’d seen the murderous rage in her eyes. His salvation was small comfort. The woman had bested him. Two women, including one of his own Arguses. First Kade had joined forces with Violet, and now Mia had.
But what did they have? Kade, who would be mental mush, and Violet’s suspicions, with no way to prove them.
Still, he wanted her dead.
He sat in his office while other officers investigated how the jailbreak had happened. Officially, it looked like a desperate sister broke in to save her mentally ill brother. Clearly psychosis ran in the family. Once Mia was captured, she, too, would be treated with the Black Bore Orb.
He called Onyx. “Violet and Kade Kavanaugh’s sister broke Kade out of the psych ward. I imagine they’ll be returning to Castanega land to try to nurse him back to health. Fortunately for us, that will never happen. Not mentally, anyway, and he may be more dangerous to them than to us.”
“Why?”
He told her about the Black Bore Orb. He had bristled at the idea of having Purcell, whom he knew only as a member of the Concilium, coming in and taking care of his problems. But Ferro had to admit that the orb had been a brilliant idea. Kade went crazy within sight of witnesses, and even with him out there, he was harmless. To Ferro, anyway.
“The idea of it gives me the creepy chills,” she said. “Remind me never to piss off a Deuce of his order. Can I finally take out Violet? You know I so want to.”
He crossed his ankles on his desk. “We’re too close to have anything happen to us. We’re Drakos’s lifeline. But we do need to ignite the clan wars. They’re already on alert, ready for attack. One more murder, clearly committed by the Castanegas, and they’ll be out of the picture. Then you can swoop in and take those who have killed and Breathed the others, thus gaining more power than you would taking one at a time.”
“But I want to kill Violet,” she whined.
“If she survives, take her after we’ve fed Drakos our power. We can’t afford to risk your safety when we’re this close. Remember what’s at stake. You’ll never again have to fear for your life. When you come for Violet after Friday, no one will defeat you.”
Violet waited for everyone to completely vacate the premises. Her chest was so tight she could hardly breathe. She had an idea—if things worked out well—and ran outside to turn on the hose by her workshop, laying the end in the soggy area where they had fought. She returned to Kade and sat on the bed again, putting herself only an inch from his face. He stared past her with a fierce intensity.
What scared her most was that he had no mist in his eyes. Just moss green, normal as a Mundane’s. And blank.
“Kade, look at me.”
He slowly shifted his gaze to her. “You.” Clearly he wasn’t seeing her, not by the vicious tone in his voice.
“Kade, I want you to kiss me.”
He frowned, both disgusted and puzzled. “What?”
“Kiss me,” she ordered. She straddled him and leaned forward, only a hairsbreadth away from him. “Now.”
He closed the distance and complied. To feel his mouth on hers…she closed her eyes and put her hand against his jaw.
“Kiss me like you did this morning,” she said. “You opened your mouth, touched my tongue with yours.” She ran her hands over the front of his chest. “Do it again.”
“Last month,” he said. “I…we…”
“No, this morning, with me. Violet Castanega.” Even if he was remembering a fragment with someone else, at least he wasn’t being hostile. She could live with that. “You made love to me this morning, touched me, pleasured me, made me come over and over.” She opened her mouth and sucked his lower lip into hers. Her lip ached, but the pain was nothing compared to the joy of feeling him again. “Remember, Kade.”
“I touched you,” he said, and desire heated his eyes.
He joined the kiss, sliding his tongue inside her mouth, tilting his head for a better angle. She closed her eyes and pressed her body into his. He grew hard, and she moved against his erection and made him groan.
“We made amazing love,” she said between kisses.
Suddenly he lifted his head, knocking his forehead into hers. “The boat just rocked. Someone came onboard.”
“No, Kade, it was just the wake. You’re safe. We’re safe here.”
She ran her hands over his shoulders, along his arms. She laced her fingers with his. His fingers remained stiff and straight. Tap into the fantasy, keep him there and away from memories.
“Squeeze my hands,” she ordered.
He complied, clamping his fingers over hers. Panic fluttered through her. She was as secured there as he was.
“Release me,” she said.
He held her, an intense look on his face. The pressure squeezed the blood from her fingers.
“Release me, Kade.”
His grip loosened, and she slid her hands free.
“Why am I cuffed to the bed?” He looked at his hands. “You’re keeping me captive?”
“We’re playing a game.” She nuzzled the curve of his neck, kissing the warm skin there, feeling his hair tickling her cheek. “I’m your master; you are my slave. You do as I say. Call me master.”
“A sex game?”
“Exactly.”
He nodded in understanding, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “Master.”
“Tell me you’re my slave.”
“I’m your slave.”
She ran her hands up beneath his shirt, her fingers bumping over the ridges of his stomach. She kissed his chin, traced her tongue along that superhero indent, nibbled on his lower lip. This time he dipped his head and kissed her without being ordered to. Reflex? Or another memory. No, she had to keep him out of his memories.
“You love me,” she said, pinning him with her gaze.
He met her gaze. “I love you.”
Though the words weren’t genuine, they washed over her anyway. Silly girl. “I love you, too.” She braced her hands on either side of his face. “We’ve loved each other from that first time we met. Our gazes met across the crowded dance floor. Do you remember?”
His eyebrows furrowed as he searched for the memory. Of course, he would find none, exactly what she wanted. He shook his head.
“It’s okay, because I remember. I remember for both of us. We danced to ‘Take My Breath Away,’ and you told me how much you loved the group Berlin. And I told you I did, too, because the lead singer sounds so strong and sure of herself. You said you liked her cool half black and half blond hair in the old music videos.”
“I don’t—”
“And we kissed on the dance floor, at the end of the song, and we kept kissing right into the next one, which was Mon A Q’s ‘Stay in Love,’ and we laughed because when we came out of it everyone was watching us. Kiss me like that again.”
He did, fully and thoroughly.
It was the last test, and she reached up and released the cuffs. “I’m your master.”
“I’m your slave.”
She rubbed his cheek. “Good boy. Come with me.” She pulled him up and led him outside to the muddy pit. The smell of moist earth reminded her of hot summer days rolling through the marsh in a swamp buggy. He was still barefoot. “Feel the mud between your toes.”
He looked down, as though he’d never seen mud squishing around his feet before. She had to keep him in the place between his memories.
“You like making love in the mud, love the way it looks over my skin, my bare breasts. Take my shirt off.”
As long as he kept obeying her, she’d be safe. If she lost him, he could kill her. He pulled her shirt over her head, dropping it to the damp ground.
“Take off your shirt. And your pants.”
He complied, standing in all his naked glory. The muscles in his body tensed, rippled.
“Take off my pants. Stay here with me. Think of nothing but my body.”
He stepped closer and worked the button on her pants, unzipping them. He hooked his fingers over her waistband and pushed them down, using his foot to dislodge them completely.
“And now my panties. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.”
His focus was now on her belly button as he knelt in front of her on one knee.
“This is how you proposed to me. You offered me this ring.” She held out her hand, the wrong one, and showed him a ring she had made.
She could see him try to pull the memory. He gave up and continued with his assigned task. He wrapped his index fingers around the thin strap at her hips and slid them down. Slowly. His movements were deliberate, studied. His face was even with her pelvis. At any moment, she had to be ready for him to shift to a violent memory where she was the villain. “You’ve touched this body. Made love to this body. Do you remember?”
There! She saw the mist in his eyes swirl. For the first time, he seemed to remember something she wanted him to.
She took his hands and ran them down her legs. “You traced circles in the spots behind my knees, and we were both surprised how erotic it felt.”
He took over the motion, staring at his fingers as though they were moving of their own volition. The memory was there, at the edge of his mind. She could see it. Dare she let him slide into it rather than keeping him in the fantasy?
Yes.
His thumbs rubbed down the front of her thighs, his fingers skimming the sensitive skin behind her knees. He moved his hands up now, his thumbs grazing her inner thighs.
“You made me wet without even touching me,” she said, sliding one hand up to the apex of her thighs. “You used your tongue in remarkable ways. Do you remember, Kade? Please, please remember.”
She saw him shift into another memory a moment before he punched her in the stomach, sending her backward into the mud puddle. The breath gushed out of her, from the impact and the shock. Her Dragon heated, but she restrained it, scrambling back as he approached.
“Where should I start? Being a hotheaded a*shole who skipped past me up the ranks because of his daddy, even as he broke all the rules?”
He was Dune! Somehow so affected by those vile words, he’d assimilated them.
She held out her hand as the dagger materialized in his hand. “Back, Kade!”
Magick crackled along the blade’s edge; his fingers tightened on the handle. He stared at her and saw himself.
“We made love in this mud puddle, Kade. Get down here, on your knees. Down, now!” She jabbed to the place in front of her.
He was caught between the warped memory and that sensual place she’d reached.
“You love me, Kade. You want to feel the mud over my breasts.” She grabbed a handful and rubbed it over them.
He stood frozen, his body reacting as his mind warred with his memory.
“Touch me, Kade. I need you to touch me.” Her hand moved over her breasts, fingers sliding between them as she held his gaze.
His dagger slid back to a tattoo, and he took three stiff steps toward her and dropped to his knees. His hands slid over the places her own hands had just been, their mouths colliding. She let go and slathered mud over him. He kept stroking her, kissing her fiercely. She ran her hands down his back, down to his firm ass, slippery with mud. He gripped her around the waist and pulled her pelvis against his.
He made sounds of pleasure as he plundered her mouth like a man starving. He squeezed her ass as he ground her into his erection. He was so hard it actually hurt, but she’d take that kind of pain any day.
He kissed to her jawline, her neck. Her Dragon instincts, already on alert, reared up as his mouth moved across that vulnerable area. He had her in his grip, his strong hands splayed on her back. She wouldn’t be able to move if he shifted to a violent memory and attacked her.
Hold on.
He arched her back as he kissed down her collarbone. His teeth grazed the inside curve of her breast. She could barely move within the confines of his grip. She couldn’t swallow past the fear in her throat. “Kade, stop kissing me. Now.”
He didn’t. His mouth moved over her nipple. His fingers dug into her back as he held her tight. She’d lost control of him.
“Kade, you will obey me now!”
He took her mouth so abruptly they both fell into the mud with a splash. Beneath him, trapped, not good. The hose was right by her head, pouring water over her hair, gurgling softly. She could reach for it if she could get her hand free and use it as a weapon. But he was still ravaging her mouth. She tasted the mud, felt the grit of it as their tongues slid together in a mad rush.
“I can’t…can’t stop kissing you, Vee. I…”
She clutched at his hair. “You have to— What did you call me?”
“Need… ,” he said, breathless, talking and kissing her at the same time. “Need…you, Vee. Burning through me.” He’d called her Vee.
Hope rushed through her, as hot as desire. “I’m here, babe. I need you, too, need you inside me.”
His body pressed hers into the soft earth. He cantilevered his weight, mindful of not crushing her. When he pulled back, he looked down at her with affection, running his hand over her face and painting her with even more mud. The smile on his face, the mist swirling in his eyes…
The mist was fully back.
“You’re my master?” he asked.
He was still in the fantasy. “Yes.”
“And we’re married.”
She nodded. “And trying to have a baby.”
He kept looking at her, his mind working to make sense of it, she guessed. She held her breath.
He slid his finger across her chin. “I don’t remember marrying you or seeing you in a wedding dress.”
“It was a lovely wedding. Five bridesmaids and groomsmen, on the beach.”
Panic flitted across his expression. “Why can’t I remember?”
“It’s okay. You have holes in your memory. Let’s not talk about that right now.”
“I do remember making love to you.” He slid his hand down over her breast. “And touching you like this. In the mud. In bed. Bits and pieces of heaven.”
She could hardly breathe. “Who am I?” She wanted to make sure.
He sputtered a laugh. “My wife. That’s what you just said.”
She felt like she was balancing a gem on a wire. Tug the wrong way, it would fall and shatter. “What’s my name?”
“Vee. Violet when you’re mad at me.”
She laughed, though it came out as more of a sob. “Who are you?”
His eyebrows furrowed again, just for a second. “Kade. Every time you said my name, it tugged me out of some dark place. I was in a shadowy alley, and then I was dancing with you. I was fighting a demon and then I was touching you.”
He looked down at her, letting his gaze move over her slowly. “I remember being in the mud with you. How beautiful and sexy you looked.” He got to his feet, then extended his hand and helped her up. He took the hose and poured the water over her, watching it wash away the mud. “How much more beautiful you look without it.”
He held it over her head, and she closed her eyes. She was afraid, so afraid, to hope he was coming back to her permanently. But that was all she had, hope and Kade there with her, right now. She took the hose and sprayed him down, then dropped it.
He pulled her into him, kissing her with such ferocity that they staggered back until they hit the workshop’s wall. He dug his fingers into her wet hair, then dragged them down her sides. “I need you. The need…it’s like a fire inside me…devouring me,” he said on staggered breaths. She felt the truth of his need in the desperate growl of his voice.
Because I brought you back, reached deep into you. She touched his face. “I need you, too. Because I’m madly, crazy in love with you.” The words slipped out. She was. Oh, she so was.
His mouth crashed into hers. He grabbed her ass and hoisted her up, bracing her back against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt him drive into her. A sound between a gasp and a groan came from deep within as she clutched him. She tilted her head back, and he moved his mouth down her throat.
He held her securely, moaning as he thrust in and out. He felt so damned good filling her, loving her, squeezing her behind and murmuring, “I’m madly, crazy in love with you, too, Vee.” Her name. Her.
She lost herself to him, to their lovemaking. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, softly biting her skin. Those nips only ramped up the coil of pressure building and swirling inside her. Her Dragon loved them, urging her to nip back. She dug her nails into his back, drawing them down to the curve of his ass. The orgasm claimed her, shook her, and tightened every muscle in her body.
He kept moving, her spasms causing him to growl like a lion, and then his body jerked as he came in one final thrust. He held on tight, shuddering in his pleasure. She watched him come back to himself, catching her breath as his chest rose and fell in sync with his breathing. She waited for his eyes to open, for him to see her. Her and not an enemy or some other woman.
He smiled as he took her in. “I’m taking you to the house and properly loving you on our bed.” He blinked, relief coloring his expression. “I remember the Series 7 chair. Have we utilized that chair in sinful ways?”
A whistle pierced the air, rising high, low, and high again. Are you all right?
She stuck her pinky in her mouth and answered. “My brothers are coming to the house. We’ll have to wait on the chair and the bed.”
“The couch, the kitchen counter…” He set her down, then picked up the hose and gently washed her thighs and then himself. “It’s like I can’t get enough of you, babe.”
Babe. She stifled a sigh.
They turned off the hose, retrieved their clothing, and walked to the house. He laced his fingers with hers, just as she’d ordered him to do earlier. He gave her a devilish smile. “Playing master and slave is a huge turn-on.”
She gave him the same kind of smile. “I like ordering you around.”
Once they reached the house, they dried off and got dressed. She heard the three approach. “Wait for me inside, slave.”
He raised an eyebrow at her command, which was so much better than the robotic way he’d obeyed before. He was in there.
“Say ‘yes, master,’” she whispered.
He bowed. “Yes, master.”
Her heart clutched at the sight. She didn’t want to lose him. “I have to talk to my brothers alone for a few minutes.” She kissed him, a quick peck. “Start dinner.”
He went inside, and she met them halfway across the yard. She had to prepare them. Mia looked as though she’d been crying, which made Violet feel vaguely guilty for having incredible sex at the same time.
Jessup said, “Where is he? And why is your hair wet?”
She touched her damp strands. “Long story.” No way was she getting into how she’d reached Kade’s mind. “He’s inside, getting dinner ready.”
“Does that mean—”
“He’s back. Mostly,” she added, before Mia could get too excited. “I had to put memories in his head that didn’t happen. It was the only way to draw him out of the real memories. I had to make up things as I went. So he thinks we’re married. He doesn’t seem to remember anything about the bore or being captured. I’m afraid to trigger something, so we have to play along with what he thinks is real.”
Mia nodded. “Whatever we have to do. Does he remember me?”
“I don’t know. We’ll find out.” She nodded for them to follow.
“Meanwhile, we still have these sons of bitches to deal with,” Jessup said.
“And a Kade who doesn’t know who our enemies are,” Violet added.
They walked inside and to the kitchen, where Kade had every cabinet door open. He turned as they came in and smiled. “Oh, hey, Mia. Did I forget that you were coming for dinner?” His expression shadowed. “I can’t remember much of anything. Like where anything is in our kitchen.” He gave Violet a pained look. “How long have we been married?”
“Just eight months.”
He seemed to search for that memory. “I have pieces of memories. Like…like a broken mirror. There are a bunch of shards that reflect something back to me, but there are a lot of empty spots where the shards have fallen to the floor.” Fear flickered across his face, but he gave her a heart-clenching smile. “I have bits and pieces of you.”
She hoped it wasn’t the one where he was going to kill her. His memories were a house of cards. She put her hand to his cheek. “It’s okay, sweetheart. They’ll come back. Don’t push it.”
He took her hand in his. “Was I in an accident?”
She wrestled with when to tell him the truth. “Ferro…” She let the word hang, checking his reaction.
“My boss?” No, he recalled nothing about his betrayal by the mildly curious expression on his face. “What about him?”
“He’s a bad, bad man,” she said, exactly how Kade had once referred to himself.
Kade blinked, like he’d heard that phrase before. She saw the wobble, felt his hand tighten on hers.
Quickly she said, “The doctor said to let the memories come back on their own.” Amazing how easy the lies flowed. It hit her then, that her and Kade’s whole relationship was built on lies.
He brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “This has been hard on you. I see the strain in your eyes.” She tightened her mouth, nodding. He pulled her into his arms, his body strong and warm and real. “I love you, Vee. I may not remember everything, but I feel that.”
She had to choke back a sob. She held on tight to him, glancing over at their audience. Mia, particularly, watched with surprised wonder. Her eyes were teary, and in them Violet saw the same mixture of both hope and fear.
Kade backed up, and he seemed to only then become aware of the others and gave them a sheepish grin. “Sorry, the world falls away when I look at Vee.”
Jessup couldn’t hide his sharp grin. “Yeah, it’s been like that since you two first met.”
“You’re Vee’s brothers.” Kade pointed at him, snapping his fingers as he obviously tried to recall his name. “Jessie? No, Jessup. And Ryan.”
Relief passed over their features, until Kade frowned. “We were fighting. Why?” That blank darkness crept across his eyes.
Violet shook his arm. “Like brothers do,” she said brightly. “Wrestling.”
He blinked, coming back. “But I saw—”
“Don’t worry about that. I’m starved.”
Kade took the three in. “Do you want to join us?”
Out of Kade’s sight, she gestured for them to go. “They have to keep an eye on the property. We’ve had some trouble here lately.”
Kade’s eyebrows furrowed. “I should be out there, too.” He turned his arm so that his dagger showed. His fingers traced the V, and for a moment he was lost in the sight of it.
“Kade?”
“I fight for a living. I can help.” He remembered his identity as a Vega. Because it was so ingrained in him probably.
She patted his arm. “You have to recuperate. You can fight soon.”
The mist in his eyes swirled at the prospect. He liked fighting for the right and just.
“First we eat,” she said.
He leaned close, nuzzling her neck. “And then we work more on making babies.”
She couldn’t help but look at her brothers at that one. Their shocked expressions almost made her choke. Why, oh why, had she uttered that particular embellishment?
Kade straightened. “Guess I shouldn’t talk about that kind of thing in front of your brothers. We’ll see you around then. Be careful. And, Ryan, if you put the moves on my sister and break her heart, I’ll cut off your appendages one by one. Got it?”
Violet only then noticed Ryan’s proximity to Mia, how closely he’d been watching her reactions to Kade. How he cared what she felt.
Ryan looked surprised and embarrassed, but he swallowed back words of denial. “I won’t hurt her, I promise.”
Those words stilled Kade. He had said similar words to her mother. The blankness moved across his eyes as the memory tried to come.
Violet gripped his arm. “Kade, let’s work on dinner. I’ll show you where everything is again.”
She needed him to remember his past, and she was terrified that when he did, she would lose him forever.