“And I honored that. I don’t care about the wager,” he says, his voice rough. “I care about you. I want to be with you. If I haven’t made that obvious enough, I’m sorry.”
“Of course you don’t care about the wager. You don’t need it! Your business is going to be fine. I, on the other hand, needed those clients. I gave up those clients for you. Well, congratulations,” I say sadly. “We’re at the end of the month, so I guess you also win the article and the podcast episode. Marcus is probably already making plans for it.”
We step closer to let someone dressed as a parrot pass by. “Parrots aren’t in the zodiac, you know!” I call out after her. I survey the scene around us, shaking my head.
Bennett steps sideways to block my view of the rainbow-colored bird-person. “I thought agreeing to the wager would show you that we can both coexist as businesses; that our companies offer different things for different people,” he says.
“Coexisting is out of the question. You were the one who turned down my pó po’s matchmaking efforts. Yet now you want to be together? Please.”
A strand of loose hair falls across his forehead. “I was focused on building ZodiaCupid. Can you blame me?”
“And you did. You built ZodiaCupid. Once we’re officially out of business, you’ll be able to proudly say that you destroyed Lunar Love.”
“I don’t want Lunar Love to go out of business,” Bennett says defensively. He shifts his footing, and a clip-on rat tail swings around his leg. “You know that’s not why I started ZodiaCupid.” His eyes plead with me, and my heart flip-flops back and forth disloyally. This is what happens when I become too attached, too emotional.
I straighten my shoulders and steady my voice. “You’re my rival, nemesis, competitor…take your pick. I can’t believe I ever trusted you and…your stupid little Rat chef outfit.”
“Hey! Don’t disrespect Ratatouille like that,” Bennett says, tucking his tail back behind him. “He may have been a rodent, but he had big dreams. In fact, he—never mind,” he says when he sees my serious face.
Bennett’s head is tilted to the side, his jaw clenched. He’s uncomfortable.
“Seeing me was probably just some way of collecting data points on how long it would take for me to fall for you,” I say, adjusting the stick-on mustache that has slipped down over my lip.
“All of that is not true. Please, Olivia. Let’s just forget about this stupid wager. I want to be with you. Let’s not fight.”
When Bennett’s this close, I can’t stop myself from thinking about the way he smells. His smile. His lips. I can still feel his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me into him. My heart aches at the memory. But there’s no use. It’s too late.
I look at the ground. “It’s pointless,” I say, my sadness crystallizing into something firmer. How could I have let my guard down? “Honestly, what’s the use? All roads lead to moments like this. I don’t make the rules.”
“Yet you’re so good at enforcing them,” Bennett says.
“We believe in different things,” I say.
“You have this idea in your head that we’re incompatible, but I disagree,” Bennett urges in a low voice. “I think that people can surprise you. That’s what love is about. That’s what the zodiac you’ve worked to promote your entire life is about.”
“You don’t get to tell me what the zodiac, love, or my life is about.”
Bennett rubs his hand against his forehead. “Do you really think I started ZodiaCupid to put Lunar Love out of business? Do I come off as that terrible of a person to you? That I’m single-handedly trying to destroy the zodiac itself?”
“I don’t know what your scheme is!” I shout-whisper defensively. “You’re such a Rat! I figured you out early on, and I should’ve known I’d be right. You take other people’s ideas to get a free ride, you try to please everyone so you’re not rejected by anyone, you’re dishonest and secretive, and you mislead for your own advantage.”
As soon as the words come out, I regret them.
Bennett looks at me stunned and quiet, any trace of a smile wiped clean from his face. “Maybe you’re right,” he says dejectedly. “I’ve been trying to figure out who I am for a long time, and you figured it out after knowing me for what, a month? You’re never going to trust me, are you?”
Trusting is a dangerous game, especially when it comes to the rules of compatibility. I’ve already bent those rules too much. We’re incompatible, and I should never have let myself get this far with him. I bite my lip.
Bennett gives a small, humorless laugh, the upturned crease next to his typically happy hazel eyes nonexistent. “I’m not your ex-boyfriend, Olivia. I’m not going to leave you or hurt you. I may not be a compatible animal sign, but I’m definitely not him,” he says, looking pained.
“Neither of us should have to change who we are to be together,” I say, trying to swallow the aching. “And I don’t think either of us can stand another heartbreak.”
Bennett’s face clouds over with hurt. “No one’s asking you to change. You speak so highly of emotion and human connection, yet here I am trying, and you’re not willing to see it from another perspective. You’re being so damn stubborn. We’ve been getting along, despite our so-called incompatibility, despite our jobs.”
“Lunar Love isn’t a job. It’s my life.”
“Isn’t what we feel real? Because it’s real for me.” He takes a step closer and reaches for my hand. “Can’t you give us a chance? I don’t want to lose you.”
“This way you won’t,” I tell him.
I stare at Bennett as all my conflicting emotions wear me down. For a fleeting moment when our hands touch, a life together feels possible. But it’s an illusion. We were born when we were born. We are what we are.
“I’m sorry. I just…can’t.” I extract my hand from his and turn to leave, disappearing into the herd of animals.
A throbbing sting crawls its way up the back of my throat, working its way to my eyes. Tears stream down my cheeks and onto the sticky ground, carrying my mustache with it.
Chapter 20
The sun slowly appears over the horizon, its rays poking up from behind the jagged hills. I push my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose to cover my puffy eyes from a week of on-and-off crying. Bennett and I are better off without each other. Our traits won’t clash to the point of destruction, and he won’t have to lose someone again. Neither will I.
I find Alisha, who’s graciously agreed to join me this morning, at the bottom of the trail stretching out her quad muscles. Even at 6:00 a.m., she looks stylish in her leopard high-waisted leggings and crop top.
“Ready?” I ask.