chapter SEVEN
TWENTY minutes later Charlie drained his glass and stood. ‘I’m going to go and check on my patient.’
‘That’s very dedicated of you,’ Mia teased, wishing both he and Carl would leave so she could drag Luca into the nearest dark corner and have him finish what he started, instead of taunting her in secret with those very clever fingers.
But she’d soon learned that two could play at his game and Luca was looking decidedly uncomfortable himself.
‘Of course the delectable Nurse Barry has nothing to do with it,’ Carl added.
Charlie grinned. ‘I’m affronted, Carl.’ And grinned again.
Carl tossed back his beer. ‘Hang on, then, I’ll walk you out.’
They said their goodbyes and Luca and Mia were finally left alone. Luca dropped his mouth to her ear. ‘You’re going to pay for that. Let’s go. Now.’
Mia smiled as his voice, thick with lust, emphasised his accent. A surge of anticipation tightened her pelvic floor. ‘If you can’t take it,’ she murmured, sliding slowly out of the booth, ‘you shouldn’t be dishing it out.’
‘Here you are, Mia. Sorry I’m late,’ Evie said, plonking herself down on the opposite seat, pushing a tray of orange juice, beer and shot glasses onto the table. ‘I’m warning you now, I plan on getting very, very drunk.’
Mia shut her eyes briefly. Damn. Evie.
Luca’s caress had managed to erase all trace of the reason she’d come to Pete’s tonight in the first place. She glanced at Luca, saw lust rippling through the dark chocolate pools of his eyes and felt everything clench. She forced herself to look away.
‘I can see that,’ Mia murmured, as Evie raised the shot glass to her lips.
‘Oh, hello, Luca,’ Evie said as she slammed down the first shot and lined up her second. ‘So glad you’re here. Maybe you can explain to me how the male mind works?’
Luca looked from Mia to Evie and back to Mia again. He’d had a vision of how the evening was going to pan out and this had not been part of it. He watched as Evie threw back her second shot and knew enough about women to know that he had one too many y chromosomes to be a part of this conversation.
He glanced at Mia, who shrugged an apology at him, a small smile playing on her lips. He stroked up the centre seam of her jeans and was gratified to see the smile disappear.
He patted her leg twice. ‘I think I’ll go and leave you lovely ladies to it.’
Mia scooted out and Luca followed her, her rear end at an enticing level before he stood and towered over her.
He nodded at Evie. ‘Goodnight.’
Evie grunted something as she contemplated her third shot and he turned to Mia. ‘I’ll see you …’ he quirked an eyebrow at her ‘… soon?’
Mia watched as Evie downed another tequila. ‘Later.’ She grimaced.
Luca dropped his gaze to her mouth then sighed. ‘Later.’
It was low and raw and whispered along her nerve endings and Mia felt decidedly wobbly as she slid back into the booth, her insides melting.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked Evie, refusing to turn and watch Luca walk out of the bar. Pete had already given her a speculative look as she’d sat—she didn’t want anyone else in the bar wising up.
Evie shook her head. ‘Nope. But I will be.’ She slammed another shot back. ‘Real soon.’
Mia sipped her orange juice. ‘You won’t be in the morning.’
‘Well, I have two days until I’m back on shift to recover.’
Mia pushed the beer towards her friend and dragged the tray with three more shots on it out of reach. ‘You may well need them.’
Evie didn’t protest, just sipped at her beer.
‘Carl was telling me you had a pretty harrowing time in Theatre with Finn. Tell me about it.’
Evie raised her eyes to her best friend. ‘Oh, Mia, it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever witnessed. Finn was … he was … magnificent.’ She sipped her beer again. ‘And then he went and acted like a total jerk.’
Mia nodded. ‘Okay, start at the beginning.’
Three hours later Evie had unburdened and Mia had managed to stagger home with her and put her to bed. She left a jug of water, a glass and two tablets by Evie’s bed for when she woke up feeling like someone was drilling for oil in her brain, her mouth as dry and putrid as the newspaper that lined a budgie cage.
She watched her friend sleep for a moment. Evie really had it bad. She didn’t know it yet, of course, but a man who drove a girl that crazy was more than some nutty crush.
Which was why her way was much better. Give them your body but keep your heart and mind out of contention. Use them for sex then walk away.
Like her and Luca.
Except she hadn’t walked away, had she?
She looked at Evie’s face, troubled even in an alcohol-induced slumber. If this was what pining after a man got you then she wanted no part of it.
She had to end it with Luca.
After tonight.
Mia glanced at Evie’s bedside clock—it was nearly one in the morning. Would Luca be awake?
She remembered how hard he’d been beneath his jeans as she’d fondled him under the table.
He’d be awake.
Her own body was still humming like an electrical substation generating enough heat to power the entire eastern seaboard.
She smiled to herself as she hurried to her bedroom, stripping off her clothes, pulling her hair out of its ponytail, opening her wardrobe, yanking her long winter coat off its hanger and stepping into its folds, the lining cool against her bare, heated flesh. She overlapped the edges and tied the cord securely around her waist—there were buttons but they were going to take too long to undo for her purposes.
Mia inspected herself in the mirror. She looked very modest in the calf-length coat and heels. Should she, on the slim off chance at after one in the morning, happen to bump into someone in the lift, they couldn’t possibly be aware she didn’t have a stitch on under the coat.
Neither would Luca.
Mia smiled at her reflection. All she needed was a little eye make-up and some lippy and she’d be perfect for an early-morning booty call.
Hell, if this was going to be their last time, she might as well blow his mind.
Luca was brooding in front of his magnificent bay window when he heard the knock. He allowed himself a smile for the first time since arriving home alone with a raging hard-on over three hours ago.
Anticipation tightened his groin as he stalked to the door and yanked it open to find a rugged up Mia leaning casually against the jamb.
‘Oh, good.’ She smiled. ‘You’re awake.’
Luca sucked in a breath. Her hair was loose and her eyes were heavily kohled in shades of grey and black, emphasising their blueness. Her mouth was painted fire-engine red. He moved in close until their bodies were almost touching. ‘It’s hard to sleep in my condition,’ he murmured.
Mia pouted. ‘Poor darling. Can I come in? I could help you with that.’
Luca’s gaze drifted to her mouth. ‘Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you entering into a recipe for disaster.’
Mia laughed as devilish memories from Pete’s surfaced. Luca touching her under the table, stroking between her legs. She lifted a finger and traced his bottom lip, almost moaning out loud when he sucked it into his mouth. ‘Carl’s a sore loser,’ she whispered.
Luca, his body taut with longing, swirled his tongue around her finger and gently released it. ‘Come in, take your clothes off. You are way overdressed.’
He stepped back and Mia strode into the room. The heat enveloped her and she turned to find Luca watching her from the shut door. She untied the coat and shrugged out of it. It fell to the floor and she was standing before him in nothing but a pair of heels.
‘Will this do?’ she asked.
Luca’s brain temporarily powered down as his hungry gaze ate up her body. Her long legs, the jut of her breasts, the flare of her hips, the shadow of her sex.
Mia’s nipples hardened at the intensity of his scrutiny. It felt more intimate than if he’d touched her and she suddenly felt like he could see right inside her. She fought the urge to cover herself.
Luca swallowed. ‘Spin around.’
His husky command spread tentacles of heat through her belly and she performed a slow teasing rotation, looking over her shoulder at him as she circled her hips like she’d seen once in a documentary on pole dancing.
Luca’s belly clenched tight. He pushed away from the door and was in front of her, reaching for her in seconds, his hands sliding around her waist, his mouth descending.
And then he was kissing her and she was kissing him back. Long, deep, wet kisses that had her gasping and sighing and begging for more as she pulled at his clothes, desperate for some skin on skin.
Her nipples rubbed against his naked chest and Luca groaned deep in his throat. Then he swept her up into his arms and strode through the apartment, their mouths locked, their hearts beating to a rhythm that pulsed like a rock concert through the air around them.
Luca reached his bed and threw her on it. Mia was startled as she free-fell, landing softly but breathing hard. Somewhere along the way she’d lost her heels so she was one hundred per cent naked now.
She looked up at a half-undressed Luca. His lips were moist from their kissing, his shirt was half off, his zipper undone.
‘You look good,’ she murmured.
Luca grinned. ‘You look better.’
Then he was stripping off his clothes, reaching for a condom, sheathing himself, then joining her, tangling his limbs with hers, kissing her mouth and her neck and her breasts, ignoring her entreaties to finish it as he licked lower. And lower.
It wasn’t until she lay spent beneath him that he succumbed to his own body’s dictates, entering her slowly, revelling in her exultant cry, rocking and pulsing, building her again until he was pounding and pounding, pushing them both to impossible heights and then pushing them both over into oblivion.
It was several minutes before either of them was physically able to speak. Luca, who was now lying on his back, recovered first.
‘Do you realise this is the first time we’ve actually done it in a bed?’
Mia, her brain cells still reorganising themselves after a mass meltdown, just nodded. It took her another couple of minutes to process and for a spike of worry to register.
Somehow landing in Luca’s bed made this whole thing seem more intimate. The other places had personified their relationship—the on-call room, the shower, the kitchen bench. Quick and impersonal.
Places to get off then move on.
They had spelled temporary, fleeting, momentary.
But to be in his bed, in his bedroom? What the hell did that spell?
Mia didn’t think it was prudent to stick around and find out. Just as soon as she could move without her legs collapsing, she was out of here. The perfect opportunity arose when Luca went to the bathroom to relieve himself of the condom but her legs refused to co-operate so she was still lying stark naked on his bed when he returned.
‘You look good there,’ Luca murmured as he approached the bed.
Mia watched him draw nearer, unashamedly naked, his beautiful smooth face and body a sight to behold. Desire stirred in her belly.
Right, that was it! Get up now, McKenzie!
Except the phone beside Luca’s bed chose that moment to ring, scaring the living daylights out of her. She glanced at the clock. ‘Who on earth is ringing at this ungodly hour?’
Luca felt his heart rate accelerate. People who lived in places where it wasn’t an ungodly hour.
He reached the phone in three purposeful strides and snatched it up. ‘Ciao.’
Mia saw another chance to escape but Luca talking in his native tongue was such a treat, even if she didn’t understand a word, she just lay and listened to him. He sat on the side of the bed his back to her, and she resisted the urge to run her palm up and down the broad expanse of his ribs. To contrast the white of her skin with the tantalising copper of his.
The first sign that the phone call wasn’t social was Luca raising his voice. He raked his hand through his hair and seemed to be demanding something of the caller. She heard the word ‘nonna’ a lot. Wasn’t that Italian for grandmother? Had something happened to his grandmother?
There was some more rapid-fire conversation before Luca hung up, tossing the hands-free receiver onto the bedside table with a clatter.
Mia pushed herself up on to her elbows, staring at the solid wall of his back. ‘Is everything okay?’ she asked tentatively.
Luca dragged himself back from the brink of the abyss the phone call had taken him to. For a moment he’d forgotten Mia was even there. He was inordinately pleased she was.
Which didn’t sit well at all.
He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘No. That was a cousin of mine. My grandmother is dead.’
Mia heard the husky rawness behind the blunt delivery and in that instant she forgot that she was naked, forgot that she was supposed to have already gone, forgot that she didn’t get involved. The driving need to offer him comfort, as she would do anyone—a friend, a patient a colleague—overrode everything.
She sat and scooted over to him shunting in behind him, spreading her legs to accommodate him, his bottom fitting snugly into the cradle of her pelvis, her thighs bracketing his.
She leaned her torso into him, her breasts squashed against his back. Her hands found his arms, her palms running up and down the warm solid weight of his biceps.
‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured, her cheek resting against his shoulder blade. ‘Were you close?’
Luca nodded. Regret, never far away, twisted the ever-present knife deep into his heart. He had been the apple of his nonna’s eye. Even after that horrible day that had changed his family life for ever.
She’d been the only one who’d believed there was more to Luca than the irresponsible teenager who had let everyone down.
Turning his back on her had been a particular wrench.
‘We spoke once a week.’ It was how he knew his family still hadn’t forgiven him.
Mia absently brushed her mouth against Luca’s back once, twice, three times. His muscles seemed to be quivering beneath her lips and she knew she couldn’t leave him like this.
‘It’s okay, Luca,’ she murmured. ‘C’mon, lie down for a while.’
She scooted back, until she was sitting propped up a little against the bedhead, and placed a hand on his shoulder. For a moment she thought he was going to resist but then he let her pull him down so the back of his head was cradled against her shoulder, her arm braced across his chest.
Luca lay still as Mia settled the sheet in around them. He turned his face and nuzzled her arm, inhaling her fragrance, letting the beat of her heart close to his ear soothe the ache in his chest.
‘Do you want to talk about her?’ she asked, trailing the fingers of her free hand up and down his arm.
Luca shook his head. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to think. He just wanted to lie here next to her and forget the world.
‘Okay. We’ll just lie here for a bit, then.’
So they did.
She had absolutely no intention of staying. Absolutely no intention of falling asleep. No intention whatsoever other than to offer a little bit of comfort and companionship in Luca’s time of need.
She really, really didn’t mean to fall asleep.
Or stay the night …
Mia woke to the most delicious feeling of warmth. Of being wrapped in a cocoon of contentment. She stretched languorously against all that solid heat behind her then snuggled back into it again. A heaviness at her hip spanned her waist and curled around her breast. A delicious sensation buzzed her neck. A hardness nudged at the cleft of her bottom.
Hmm. Luca.
She sighed as sleep wrapped her in a sticky embrace. For five seconds.
Then panic set in.
Luca!
Damn! What time was it?
She cracked open one eye, then the other, squinting at the digital clock on the bedside table. Eight-fifteen.
In the morning.
Damn, damn, triple damn!
She lay very still for a long moment, listening to him breathe, not daring to do so herself. It was deep and even. Was he asleep? His lips had brushed her neck only seconds ago but had that been involuntary?
His hand at her breast, tantalising and erotic, seemed lax. Not that her nipple seemed to know the difference as it scrunched and scraped erotically against the flat of his palm.
Neither, for that matter, did his erection. She could feel it nestled against her, big and heavy.
Ready for action.
How the hell could he sleep with that thing? Surely his brain was being deprived of oxygen?
Mia waited a bit longer for signs of life. Other than his erection.
No. He was definitely asleep.
She took that as her cue to get the hell out. What had she been thinking? She didn’t do this. She didn’t stay the night. She didn’t … spoon.
Hell, she didn’t even cuddle.
And he knew that!
Okay, no one she’d ever been to bed with had received a phone call that their grandmother had died either—but that was beside the point. She was supposed to have left hours ago. She couldn’t let one man’s personal life alter years of self-discipline.
She’d very nearly failed medical school, thrown away her future, by letting men and booze rule her life for those couple of crazy years after she’d found out about her father, about her mother’s deception. She’d made a promise to herself back then that it would never happen again.
And Luca was no exception.
Yes, he’d transcended her staunch one-night-stand policy. But he was still just a convenient body—hot, sexy, best she’d-ever-known body—and that was all.
Dead grandmother or not.
Her decision from last night—before she’d totally messed up and stayed—to end things with Luca suddenly just got a whole lot more urgent.
Mia didn’t breathe again until she’d slunk very carefully out of his bed and tiptoed out of his room. Thankfully the central heating was still on because it looked like a frosty old day through those big bay windows as a stiff breeze blew across the harbour, rippling the surface like goose-bumps on flesh.
She strode to the centre of the room and scooped up her jacket, shrugging into it, again ignoring the buttons as she tied it at the waist.
Now, where the hell were her shoes?
She quickly scanned the shoeless route from the lounge to Luca’s bedroom. Her gaze stopped at his doorway.
Please, don’t make me go back there.
She didn’t need the temptation of a sleeping Luca. She hadn’t looked back as she’d fled the room and she didn’t want to know now either. She needed to get out.
She’d leave her bloody shoes if she had to. Even if her feet would be half-frozen by the time she reached her apartment.
Yes, she needed to tell him this wouldn’t be happening again. Especially now. Especially after last night.
But she could leave that for tomorrow. For now she needed to get out. And quickly.
Her panicked gaze backtracked, sweeping a broader area than before. It snagged on a partially obscured heel somehow under the bar stools that lined the central kitchen bench.
Wow. She must have kicked them off wildly—or had Luca pulled them off then tossed them across the room?
Her mind had been mush at the time.
Mia quickly retrieved it, trying not to think about just what she and Luca had done on that kitchen bench. How he’d swept aside the dirty dishes and taken her right there on the cold granite bench top.
Stop it! Don’t go there!
Mia shook herself. One shoe down, one to go. She refined her search—if one had ended up near the kitchen, the other one could be anywhere. She dropped to her knees in front of the lounge suite and looked under the chairs.
Bingo!
She reached under for it but the lounge didn’t have a lot of clearance and she had to get down lower to even get her fingers to it. She extended her arm further and finally dragged it out, giving a triumphant murmur as she sat back on her haunches.
‘What are you doing?’
Mia lurched abruptly to her feet. Luca was leaning against the doorframe, in nothing but underpants, his arms crossed, a small frown making a harsh line out of his beautiful mouth. There was a shadow in his eyes that was a perfect foil for the one darkening his jaw and seemed to match his serious countenance.
‘Luca.’ Mia, excruciatingly aware of her nakedness beneath the coat, absently kicked first one foot up behind her and then the other as she slid the shoes in place, ‘Sorry … couldn’t find my shoes.’
Luca watched as she shimmied into her stilettos. Usually he liked the way women did that. It was sexy. But this morning the death of his grandmother and the burden of guilt he felt over his absence in her life weighed heavily.
As did Mia being witness to it all.
This morning he was immune to sexy.
When he’d woken alone he’d been relieved. His vulnerability last night had shaken him. He wasn’t used to being that emotionally exposed to anyone, least of all a woman. Marissa had burned him for life in that regard and he had no desire to repeat the experience.
The last thing he needed this morning was to see pity in Mia’s eyes.
He needed to be alone.
‘I need coffee,’ he said abruptly, pushing away from the doorframe.
Mia watched him stride to the kitchen, a very different man from the post-coital Luca she’d come to know. No sexy smile, no lazy laugh, no knowing gaze. And certainly very different from the man she’d held last night, who’d fallen asleep in her arms.
He seemed to have erected a wall and was putting her firmly on the outside.
Which was great. Exactly what she wanted. Exactly what she’d been hoping for. No need for the big talk after all. Just slip out of his apartment and consider it over.
Perfect.
If only her body wasn’t rebelling. The site of his strong, naked back, the way the muscles played beneath the fine moulding of copper flesh, the sexy indentation of the small of his back was causing a riot amongst her hormones. She ground her feet into the carpet to stop herself taking a step towards him.
When had her body started to crave his like this? It was so … base.
‘I’m going to go,’ she announced to his back. ‘Check that Evie hasn’t slipped into an alcoholic coma. And you have a lot to organise today.’
Luca frowned as he filled the percolator with water. ‘Organise?’
‘Flights, time off work, packing.’
‘Flights?’
It was Mia’s turn to frown. ‘For the funeral? I’m sorry, I assumed your grandmother lived in Italy? Is she here in Sydney?’
He hadn’t told her that. But, then, why would he? They didn’t … chat. They’d had sex a few times. That’s what they did. That’s all they did.
Until last night.
And it was why they were over now. Now that their relationship had evolved to a level of emotional intimacy neither of them wanted.
Luca flipped the switch on the coffee machine and turned to face her, his hands gripping the bench behind him, his knuckles white. ‘I’m not going to the funeral.’
Mia blinked. ‘What?’
‘I’m not going,’ he repeated.
‘But … I thought you said you were close to your grandmother?’
Her yearning for a grandmother of her own, someone who could have softened the harsh realities of her childhood, been a buffer even, returned as Mia struggled to understand what Luca was saying.
Luca nodded. ‘I am.’ He raked a hand through his hair as he realised what he’d said. ‘I was … I haven’t been back to Italy since the day I left and, trust me, no one in my family wants me to return.’
The edge of bitterness in his voice surprised Mia and instead of turning and walking to the door, which would have been the wisest course of action, she wandered closer to the kitchen.
‘No one?’
He nodded grimly. ‘Sicilians have long memories.’
Mia slid onto one of the stools, the urge to comfort him as strong as it had been last night despite his keep-out expression. ‘Look, I don’t know what happened with you and your family—’
She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to interrupt. He looked like he was going to tell her to mind her own damn business, which was fine by her. Apart from knowing he’d left Marsala at the age of sixteen, he hadn’t told her about his past or the fact that he’d never been back.
And she didn’t want to know. That wasn’t what they were about—it was nothing to do with her.
Except she understood. She understood how things could be so bad that you’d never go back. How many times had she visited her mother in the last five years? Half a dozen? And how long ago had she given up on trying to keep in contact with a father who had moved on to a new family after the woman he’d loved had totally destroyed his old one?
‘I don’t want to know, Luca, but it was a long time ago, yeah? Maybe things are better now?’
Out of habit or manners, Luca poured two coffees and pushed one towards her. Even though he didn’t want her to stay. He could see empathy in her gaze and wanted no part of it. They were just about sex—nothing else. Sex was all he did. He’d lost his head for a little while, but not any more.
‘They’re not.’
Mia stared down into the thick dark coffee—the colour of Luca’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured.
He shrugged. ‘It’s the way it is.’
Mia looked up sharply. She could see regret in his espresso gaze and hear a slight rawness to his accent. And suddenly she was mad. Damn it! Why was it that way? Why was he still being made to suffer twenty odd years later—this was his family. What had he done that had been so bad? Why did she feel guilty about not keeping her family together, about not keeping in contact when neither of her parents bothered? Why should she give a damn when they didn’t?
‘You should go,’ she said.
Luca saw something glittering in her stained-glass-window eyes. They shone with an intense brightness that for a second looked almost like tears. But then it crystallised into determination.
He shook his head. ‘Some things are better left alone, Mia.’
Mia shook her head emphatically. ‘No, damn it! She was your grandmother and you loved her. And you need to go to her funeral and to hell with what everyone else thinks. You need this for you, Luca. You deserve this. Don’t let them take this from you because of some stupid ancient history.’
Luca wasn’t entirely sure that this passion was all about him and his predicament but he appreciated the sentiment. It was surprisingly good to have someone on his side in this whole family mess, even though she had no clue of the facts.
Another spurt of guilt made him uneasy. Would she be this passionate about it if she knew the background? Was she only being this vehement because she thought she knew him well enough to surmise that he’d been wronged by his family?
‘Don’t think I’m the injured party here, cara. They had every right to ostracise me. To be angry with me.’
His voice sounded far away in another time and Mia paused. She hadn’t expected any explanation but she had expected him to defend himself when offering one. They’d ostracised him and he just accepted it?
‘Still?’ she demanded, regrouping. ‘After all these years? Doesn’t that make you angry?’
Luca shook his head. He’d given up being angry about it a long time ago. Regret was a constant companion—if he could go back and change things he would—but he’d worked through his anger.
‘No. Not any more,’ he said.
Mia couldn’t believe how calm he was. She could feel a burning in her chest at his ostracism and hers. Her father leaving physically and her mother leaving emotionally had completely excluded her from the possibility of a normal life.
How could people who supposedly loved you act so callously? Even in grief? Her heart pounded, there was a ringing in her ears, her hands shook as she clasped them around the coffee cup.
It would be so easy to lose it. Just lose it. She hadn’t been this stirred up in years. Maybe not since the day she’d discovered her stillborn baby sister hadn’t been her father’s child and that’s why he’d left. That her mother had been lying to her for years.
She had a sudden insane urge to cry, which both scared and horrified her in equal measure. What the hell was wrong with her?
Mia McKenzie did not cry. Not in front of friends or colleagues and most certainly not lovers.
Not ever!
Luca was a man she’d had sex with a few times and slept with once. She shouldn’t care about any of this.
She pulled herself back from the edge. Just. ‘Well, I think you’re wrong, but …’ she shrugged with as much nonchalance as she could muster when her brain was melting down ‘… it’s none of my business.’
She stood. She had to get out of there. The intensity of her feelings was scaring the hell out of her. He plainly didn’t want her hanging around and she’d been trying to leave since the moment she’d woken with his hand on her breast.
Luca nodded, gripping the bench harder as the foolish urge to reach for her took hold. To put a hand on her shoulder, tug her into his arms. She looked a little wan and frankly he’d rather spend the day putting some colour back into her cheeks than thinking about his grandmother and the mess he’d left behind in Sicily.
But she’d turned away and was walking rapidly towards the door. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.
‘Ciao, Mia,’ he called out.
Mia heard the finality in his voice and knew it was goodbye.