“Because I’d rather be fucking you.”
Lux didn’t have a comeback because they both knew it was what they wanted. Everything within her wanted to throw caution to the wind and have hot, heavy sex with him, but something stopped her. There was too much between them that wasn’t right. Too much that needed repairing.
Lux knew they would still be good together, but making love with Josh would only apply a dressing to their wounds, not repair their injuries.
“I don’t think so.”
“I told you before and nothing’s changed. You need a good fuck.” Josh said without inflection.
“Stop saying that!”
“I forgot to add that you need a good fucking specifically by me.”
“I said, stop it. That might be all our marriage means to you but it means much more to me!”
“Really, what does it mean to you, Luxandria? Seriously, I’d really like to know.” Josh asked sarcastically.
“I know what you’re doing and it won’t work.”
“Seems to me it’s working just fine, and I’m waiting for whatever nugget of truth you’re going to spout about what our marriage means to you.”
“I’m not going to have this conversation with you right now. That fever must have affected your damn mind!” Finished with what she had to say, for some reason Lux picked up her cup and slammed it down on the table.
Before the sound finished reverberating around the room, Josh was on her. Picking her up out of her chair, he held her suspended off the floor. The anger she saw in his now black eyes caused her to suck in a breath of fear. One minute his fury was palpable and the next his beautiful eyes contained so much hurt, she wanted to cry.
“Please tell me you know I would never hurt you, Luxie.”
“I…I know.” Lux knew the words she spoke were the truth, but her trembling belied them.
When, after a few moments Josh enfolded her in his arms the tears came. Everything between them was such a mess and she didn’t know if they could ever make it right.
“Don’t cry, my Luxandria. I’m sorry I scared you,” Josh pled as he awkwardly rubbed her back in comfort.
Just like that, Lux wanted to laugh as memory came rushing back to her. Josh had never been of any use when she cried. Now he was patting her back with such a lack of finesse she barked with laughter.
“Sorry, was I doing it too hard…rubbing your back, was it too hard?”
Here was the quintessential Josh, the man who wouldn’t hide or lie about the truth as he saw it. His true nature was one of protection imbibed with a care for those he loved that was unmatched by anyone else she knew.
Kissing his neck because she couldn’t help herself, Lux in turn rubbed his back in comfort.
“Should I fix you something to eat, Josh?”
“I’d love to be eating your p–”
“Joshua!”
“Pancakes! Really, Luxandria, that’s some dirty mind you’ve got there.”
“You don’t fool me for a moment, Joshua Kingdom,” Lux shook her finger under his nose as she pulled away.
Grabbing her hand, Josh pulled her finger into his mouth and sucked on it. Lux felt the pull travel throughout her whole body and her nostrils flared in reaction.
“I can see you liked that,” Josh wiggled his eyebrows. “But seriously Lux, you need to feed me because I can’t maintain this magnificent physique by just sucking on your–”
“Joshua!”
Lux walked away to the sound of his laughter. With her back turned towards him, she couldn’t stop the smile that split her face as she wiped away the remnants of her tears. The man was completely irreverent. The earlier part of their conversation forgotten, Lux concentrated on remembering how much she enjoyed him when he was in a teasing mood.
He’d tried to help her prepare their meal but only managed to get in her way. In the end, she’d relegated him to mixing the batter. Josh ate the stack of pancakes and bacon she set before him with so much relish, Lux watched him in awe.
“Thank you for breakfast, it was great,” Josh complimented as he took another plate from her and stacked it in the dishwasher. “Where did you find bacon?”
“Oh, I went to the store and got a few supplies.”
“You did what?!” He exploded.
Lux jumped and nearly dropped the cup in her hand. “What is the matter with you?!”
“For God’s sake, Lux. You don’t go anywhere without me, do I make myself clear?”
“Why?” Lux asked suspiciously. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No.”
“Now who’s the liar,” Lux rebuked.
“This isn’t up for discussion. You will do as I say and that’s the end of it!”
“You just can’t help yourself can you. I was finally enjoying your company and you had to spoil it. Do not order me around, Joshua Kingdom, now the discussion is at an end!” Lux yelled on her way out the kitchen, and he didn’t try to stop her.