Chapter Thirteen
If You Don’t Want To, Then I Will
I scrolled through the text messages on my phone, biting my lip to contain the smile threatening to take over my whole face. The cabbie driving me must have thought I was weird seeing as how I kept giggling and sighing like a lovesick fool in front of him. Then again, I had once seen a woman wearing her bra and underwear on the subway, carrying all her personal effects in a white plastic bag, so maybe he didn’t think I was that weird.
Twenty-three text messages from Grant, and I hated to admit it, but I knew them all by heart. All twenty-three had come over the course of the last two weeks. And that didn’t include the ones I’d received since I finally broke down and started responding to him the other day.
While reading one of my favorite ones from early on – I’d hand you the sun and moon if you’d let me – a new one popped up. I quickly scrolled down to the bottom of the window like a kid on Christmas morning. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, and my palms felt clammy. I was practically bouncing in my seat with anticipation.
I have a package that’s in need of your special attention.
I threw my head back and busted out into loud laughter. “Sorry,” I mumbled when the cabbie gave me the evil eye in the rearview mirror.
This was Grant’s latest thing, trying to get my “special attention” for his penis.
His other ploys included his sock being lonely and looking for its other half, and his train hoping to park in my station.
The man had issues for sure.
I looked up at the ceiling, trying to come up with a witty retort. My fingers flew across the keys on my phone when I thought of one.
Does it need to be wrapped?
I locked my phone and tapped my foot, very impatiently waiting for his response. It felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes seeing as how we only went a few more blocks, my phone chimed with an incoming text.
Yes. It prefers something wet, warm and silky. Know of anything?
I stifled my giggle seeing as how the cabbie was still giving me the evil eye.
Can it be pink?
I replied and then shoved my phone in my purse when the cab arrived at my destination.
I stepped onto the sidewalk and put my black Jackie O. sunglasses on. When the light changed I jogged across the street to meet Maya at the deli where we were having lunch together.
When I entered the restaurant, I spotted Maya at a table by the windows and flopped down in my chair.
“Hey,” I said with a smile for my best friend and proceeded to take off my white, wool pea coat.
“You’re actually late today. That is so unlike you. I thought for sure I’d get an earful from you when I got here,” she teased me.
I wasn’t about to tell her it was because I was caught up in reading my texts, yet again.
“I had to take a cab because I missed the subway,” I told the little white lie and didn’t feel at all bad about it.
“Gotcha. I ordered you a turkey on wheat. Hope that was okay.”
“Perfect.” My phone chimed before I could say anything else, and I dug through my bag like it was on fire, wanting to see what it said.
It’s my favorite color. I’ll need to inspect it though. Can we arrange that?
My face flushed and I replied back quickly.
Possibly.
“What’s that all about?” Maya pointed at my phone with an inquisitive look on her face.
“Oh, nothing.” I set my phone down on the table and picked up my glass of water.
“Oh, really,” she murmured. When my phone chimed again, she swiped it off the table faster than I thought possible and snooped on my text messages.
Great.
“Oh. My. God. You dirty bird!” She exclaimed as she laughed the big belly laugh that she was famous for. “I’ve seen it all now. Uptight, prudish Elizabeth Ward is sexting with a billionaire lawyer. Does this mean you came to your senses?”
“No.” I snatched my phone back and looked at the message that had come.
You’re the only one I want wrapping it.
I kept my head down not wanting her to see how embarrassed I was. I never acted like this with anyone. Grant and the way I let loose with him was an epiphany to me.
“You should. From what I saw of those messages, he has it bad. Think about it. How many mega rich and super-hot, single men in Manhattan would spend their time texting with someone they didn’t have feelings for?” She shook her head at me like I was dumb.
“I’m not sure if I can get past the flowers and the fact that while I’ve been kind of down since we had that fight, he had no trouble moving on.”
“You need to get over that and ask him about it. There might be a perfectly good reason behind his actions.”
“What if I’m afraid to hear his answer?” That was the crux of the issue. I so desperately wanted to be special to him, the way I had felt during our weekend together. If he confirmed my suspicions that I was just like the others, I would feel even more ridiculous for believing I was different.
“I think you might be surprised,” Maya answered cryptically.
“What do you know?” I demanded right before the waitress set our plates down in front of us.
“Nothing.” She popped a potato chip in her mouth, but her grin said it all. She knew something… and I was dying to know what it was.
I decided it was best to change the subject in hopes that I could catch her off guard later when I tried to weasel the secret from her.
“So get this. I’ve been trying to call my mom for a week now and she keeps evading me. I haven’t spoken to her since before Christmas when she went on her cruise. Whenever I call her, I get her voicemail and then she always calls my house during the day when she knows I’m not home. It’s sketchy.”
“Hmmm… that is strange. She’s a big girl. I’m sure there’s a reason she is avoiding you. Maybe she’s getting herself more in debt and she doesn’t want you to know about it.”
I glared at Maya, willing her head to explode for being such a brat.
“Sorry, maybe that wasn’t the best joke. Is it still too soon?” Was her cheeky response to the death rays emanating from my eyes.
I threw a chip at her and the bitch just laughed. “You are so lucky I love you, M.”
“True, but I think one day really soon you’re going to realize that you are lucky to have me.”
“See, there you go again. What are you hiding from me? You know I hate surprises and being left in the dark.” It was true. I did not deal well with being left in the dark on anything. It made it hard for me to control a situation, and we all knew how much I needed that.
“Oh, look at the time!” Maya exclaimed and looked at her watchless arm. “I better go. I have ironing to do for Johnny boy,” she said, referring to one of our single, male clients who burned any and all things he tried to iron before we came along.
“But I haven’t heard about your date with Paul yet!”
“Later.” She kissed me on my cheek and bolted for the door. I sat back in a huff. I was still in the dark, damn it.
?????
“I think I died and went to heaven. This was just what I needed,” my mother gushed as she sank her feet back in the hot, bubbling water. Her eyes were closed, and her head was resting on the high back of the European Spa Chair while she got a pedicure.
Sitting in a row with our feet in bubbling water was Maya, me, and then my mom. We were at one of the most elite spas in Manhattan. It had been a day filled with facials, massages, manicures, and now pedicures.
Confused, right? Yes, well, so was I. See today started out like any other Saturday. I was planning on getting up early and taking care of some loose ends from my work week so that I could kick back and enjoy a lazy Sunday.
It didn’t quite go as planned.
As soon as I stepped out of the shower, I was ambushed by Maya. She flung clothes at me and told me to leave my hair wet. It was imperative that we get to my mother right away.
I was obviously bewildered and notably freaked out by what was happening. I kept thinking, what was wrong with my mother? Why was this the first I was hearing about it? But Maya wouldn’t tell me anything, so I quickly threw on my yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Then I threw my hair back in a wet bundle on my head and ran out of the house as fast as I could.
When we stepped out onto the sidewalk we were greeted by Grant’s driver, George.
“Good morning, Ms. Ward,” he said with an endearing smile as he opened the back door of the town car for us.
“What is this?” I asked Maya after we slid into the backseat.
All she said was, “Trust me.” This was of course after she gave me a devilish smile.
At that point, my heart stopped seizing with the idea that something might be wrong with my mother. I knew Maya, and now Grant, were up to something and it involved my wayward mother.
Oh dear God. I really hoped my mother and Grant hadn’t met. If that was the case, she’d be so far up in his business she would probably know his astrological sign, his favorite food, what his intentions were with me and how many kids he wanted.
When we pulled up to the plush five star spa, I just about gasped at the idea of going in there. They were ridiculously expensive. I had clients who frequented there, but I would never be able to afford it. Ever.
I always assumed that the walls were lined with gold with the way people spoke about this place. And I was about to find out for myself. Holy cow.
When we walked in, my mother was standing in the lobby and shouted, “Surprise!”
Turns out Grant put her up at the Plaza Hotel – which was her dream hotel – and asked her not to tell me until today. So basically she has had a week of pampering while at the hotel and sightseeing around the city. All of which I wasn’t privy to. No wonder she ignored all my phone calls. She was always a shit liar.
She even had dinner with Grant two nights ago. This, of course, made me want to break out into hives. She wouldn’t tell me what they discussed, only that it was a mother’s right to keep certain things from her children. It didn’t matter how much I harped on her to tell me, her lips were sealed. That was never a good sign.
Part of me was beyond annoyed at the fact that Grant and Maya did all this behind my back. They should have asked me if it was okay to pamper my mom. There was no reason why I couldn’t have been in the loop, at least in that part of their planning.
Another part of me melted at the very thought that powerful, masculine, hard-nosed Grant was thoughtful enough not only to think of me, but to think of the most important people in my life. He didn’t need to go out of his way to give my mother that little retreat. He did it because he wanted her to feel good after the heart attack, and because he cared about me. That had to be the reason. And because of that I had to suck it up and let go of my need to know everything and control every situation. Otherwise, I would be a selfish cow.
“It was sure nice of Grant to care about an old woman like this. Don’t you think, Elizabeth?” My mother’s words brought me out my thoughts. I glanced down at my feet in the bubbling water and prayed that the ground would swallow me whole.
“Elizabeth? I asked you a question.”
I sighed. How was this relaxing?
“Yes, Mother. It was very nice of him,” I agreed with her observation.
“Ohhhhhh… I think he did it because he wants in E’s pants, not because he was worried about you or me.” Maya wagged her eyebrows seductively and laughed.
“Oh, Elizabeth. Have you let him in your pants? Because he is one tall drink of cold water, so if you haven’t already, you should. And if you don’t want to, then I will.”
I choked on my spit, and Maya had to pound me on the back. The woman doing my feet jumped up and ran to get me some water.
When I finally calmed down, I turned to my mother and said, “Did I just hear you right?”
“A woman always has needs. It doesn’t matter if you’re twenty-three or sixty-three.”
“Touché,” Maya chimed in and I felt like I was in some parallel universe. The thought of my mother with anyone, let alone Grant had my stomach churning.
“Anyway, you should thank him. I raised you with proper manners, so don’t disappoint me,” my mother continued to scold me.
“Don’t worry, Mother. I already planned on contacting him after we left here.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. We have appointments to get our hair done next at Garren New York. Followed by dinner at your favorite Italian restaurant. So, I guess it will have to wait until later tonight.” She winked and then picked up a gossip magazine.
There was more? He definitely went above and beyond with this day of pampering, and the fact that I got to spend it with my mom and my best friend made it that much more special for me.
I decided I couldn’t wait to text Grant. I was dying to have that connection with him.
There are no words… thank you.
Needing to preoccupy myself while I waited for him to reply, I figured it was a good time to finally get the details of Maya’s date with Paul.
“Okay, lady. Spill. What happened on your date with Paul?”
She picked up her glass of champagne and sipped, keeping me on pins and needles waiting.
“Well, let’s just say Paul is really into himself. I barely said a dozen words the whole night. And the sex…” She made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. “He’s just as selfish in the sack as he is out of it. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and spend some time with my vibrator. I definitely won’t be going back for another taste of that.”
“No,” I breathed with disbelief. Paul was so hot. What a waste.
“Unfortunately, I’m dead serious. After I left Paul’s, I stopped at a bar to have a drink on my way home and ran into Travis. We got to talking, and I learned that he’s a great guy. I can see why you guys have struck a friendship.”
“So great,” I agreed. “He was one of my earlier clients and he’s hard not to care about, I guess. Did you know he was the one who referred Grant to me?”
“Small world,” she muttered and ducked her head. I briefly wondered what the shyness was all about.
A few minutes later the reply that came from Grant made me swoon once again.
You’re worth all that and more.
I couldn’t help it. I was falling in love with that man.
?????
I rang the doorbell and then decided to let myself in. I was so unbelievably nervous about what I was about to do, that I didn’t want to give myself the chance to back out. After the wonderful day I spent getting pampered and eating a fabulous dinner, I had to see him. Texting or calling just wouldn’t have been enough.
When the door closed, I turned and saw Grant coming out of his bedroom looking surprised to see me. He barely had time to brace before I ran towards him, jumped in his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist.
“I missed you,” I whispered right before his mouth slammed on mine. He backed me up against the wall, and his hands dug into my ass while we kissed like we hadn’t seen each other in years. It was full of passion and desperation.
Breaking the kiss, I begged, “I want you to make love to me, Grant. I need you so bad.”
He groaned in my ear as he rocked me against his massive erection. His lips worked magic on the skin of my neck, which only served to increase my need for him.
“I’ve missed you. I’ve fantasized about your touch and dreamed about your smell. I’ve ached to see you smile up at me while I move inside you. Don’t ever push me away again,” he murmured against my skin.
“Please,” I begged when he continued to torture me with his grinding.
“Say it. Say you’ll never push me away again. I need to hear it.”
Oh God. Could I promise that? I wanted to, but there was still so much we needed to talk about.
“Say it.” Behind his words was so much emotion that it sounded like they were being torn from him.
“I won’t push you away. Ever,” I whispered and looked up into his eyes. I watched as they grew darker and a peace settled over the masculine features of his face.
At that point, everything became a blur. We had far too much pent up sexual frustration from not being together for so long. The charged air between us was explosive.
He tore my yoga pants down, exposing only my p-ssy, while my hands pushed his lounge pants down enough to free him. And that was when he slammed into me. My body jolted, and a shout escaped my lips.
We moved together in unison. My hips rocked as best they could around the confines of my pants to meet each one of his thrusts. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding him close to me. Our mouths hovered over each other as we panted and our eyes stayed locked with each other.
“You’re so big,” I breathed.
I couldn’t think. All I could do was feel. And I felt every inch of him – on me and in me. The way he made love to me was hungry, like he couldn’t get enough of me.
“I want you to scream my name when you come,” he demanded when my body started stiffening and my p-ssy began to flutter with my impending orgasm.
Grant grabbed my hips and adjusted his angle so that he was going deeper, hitting a part of me I never even knew existed. With each caress of that special place, I felt it coming. I’d never felt this before. It was a huge sensation that was overtaking every fiber of my being. I could feel our connection growing wetter and wetter. I was coming out of my skin. The moans and shouts that left my mouth would have normally had me feeling self-conscious, but I didn’t care. There was no controlling my reaction to him in that moment.
“Oh, Grant,” I screamed on a moan when it washed over me. He grinned triumphantly as he pounded into me harder, searching out his own release. I could feel his biceps flexing and the muscles in his back shifting powerfully with every thrust.
“I need to pull out,” he gritted out past clenched teeth.
He quickly did so and continued to pump himself while I watched in fascination. “Drop to your knees and open your mouth,” he commanded, and my body immediately did as it was told. And when he came, he whispered my name right before his head flew back, and he shook with his release. He came in thick bursts that landed in my mouth and on my cheek.
I had never felt so dirty before. It was exhilarating.
When he finished, he helped me up and led me to the master bathroom where I cleaned up.
Walking into Grant’s room, I found him naked in bed. I shucked my clothes and joined him in his massive bed. He pulled me into his arms and traced random patterns on my hip while my cheek rested on his chest, and my arm was slung over his stomach.
“We need to talk,” I eventually said into the silence. I didn’t really want to break this wonderful moment, especially with the way my body was completely sated, but we needed to clear some things up and decide where to go from here.
“I’m sorry about the lack of a condom,” he said in answer and tightened his hold on me. “I assure you I’m clean and get tested regularly. Are you on birth control?”
“No. It made me sick so I can’t take it.” I suddenly felt edgy and freaked out. I was so in the moment before that I didn’t think of that repercussion. I hoped he didn’t think I planned any of this.
“We’ll wait and see what happens. This was my fault. I should have taken the time. I’m truly very sorry to put you in that position.”
“It’s okay. You’re right. We’ll see what happens. But that isn’t all I wanted to talk about.” The panicked feeling inside me remained, but I was trying to be reasonable that the chances I would get pregnant weren’t that great. It was pretty early in my cycle.
“What else did you want to talk about?”
“The women,” I said and felt his body tense up under mine. His fingers stopped moving, and I swear even his heart stopped beating.
“What about them?” He eventually gritted out.
“Are there any others?”
“No,” he answered quickly and resolutely.
“Since when?” I needed to know if he would lie to me about the woman Maya saw him with. Was I testing him? Probably. Should I be ashamed of myself for it? Probably. That wasn’t going to stop me though.
“Since the Waldorf.”
It was my turn to tense. His fingers bit into my hip when I did, like he was bracing for me to try to run.
“Maya saw you,” I whispered. I couldn’t force my voice to go any higher.
“Saw me where? I’m telling you I haven’t been with anyone since we first slept together.”
“Leaving some woman’s apartment by Central Park. She said the woman kissed you.”
His fingers gripped my chin, and he pulled my face up to look into his. “That was my sister-in-law, Gabriela. You can rest assured I was not slipping out of her home after a night of sex. I was dropping off papers to my brother regarding some of my grandfather’s estate. Unfortunately, he stays involved in the money end of things.”
My body relaxed at his words. He wasn’t with another woman. And that made me feel so much better. There was still something else weighing on my mind though.
“What about the flowers? You acted like they should have been a non-issue. I’ve ordered them for you before. I know you send them after spending a night with random women.”
He sighed and released my face. His free hand scrubbed down his face in what appeared to be frustration. “I didn’t sleep with all those women, alright. Early on the press dubbed me a womanizer and a playboy. My parents hated it. They said I was making a bad name for the family. I started playing on that image to piss them off. Now it’s just kind of expected. I thank them for taking time out of their lives to attend some boring function or to just go out and be photographed with me. It’s the least I can do seeing as how I don’t sleep with them, when everyone thinks that I do.”
“Really?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was as if he was too good to be true. And you know the saying, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
No. I refused to think the worst. I needed to believe in us. This was the most alive I had ever been. Grant made me want things I had never dreamed of. When I wasn’t with him, I severely missed him. When we were together, I felt like all my pieces clicked into place.
“Really. Elizabeth, you are the only person I have let see who I really am since I was twenty-two years old. Please believe that. You’re precious to me.”
I buried my head in his chest and breathed deep to control the emotions bubbling up inside me.
Now for the tough question. “Can we really make this work? You are my client after all. I could switch things around and maybe Maya could take you on.” My mind started spinning with ways I could balance out Maya’s workload to include Grant as well.
“I don’t want Maya. I want you. It doesn’t matter to me if you work for me. Most of your direction comes from Madison anyway.” Grant took a huge breath and continued. “Look, I want to be frank with you about this. I have no idea what I’m doing. I haven’t wanted to try this with someone in a really long time. Let’s just take this one day at a time and worry about the what ifs as we encounter them.”
I had to admit that sounded like a good idea, but it also felt like I’d be flying by the seat of my pants, which was something I loathe to do.
“Now if that’s behind us, I want to get a taste of you seeing as how we rushed the first time.” He rolled me to my back, and his tongue ran down my chest and circled a breast.
“Okay,” I breathed and decided flying by the seat of my pants wasn’t so bad after all.