“Never!” I shouted. I couldn’t believe his presumptuousness.
He visibly relaxed and his back fell into the headboard, causing an alarming thud sound. Azna barked at the foreign noise, letting me know it startled him, too.
I was offended. He had some audacity to assume a broken temperament when he thought I’d slept with Thompson. “Hypocrisy!” I hissed.
“I know, but it is what it is. Rayna, I can’t even begin to think about how shattered…how fucked up I’d be if you fucked someone else.”
“I don’t fuck!” I shrieked. “Is that what we do? I mean, yeah, we’ve gone over the semantics, but is that what you believe we do?” He had some nerve.
He gasped, affronted. “No.” His tone was soft and defenseless.
“Well, why would you assume that I’d fuck someone else?”
“Because you said you loved me and making it is reserved for me.”
“And so are your lips, Azmir! It goes both ways.” Anger fueled my new found courage. “God—do you know how much you’ve possibly set back my trust issues? Now, I feel insecure in who I am.” I looked him square in the face. After a moment, I whispered, “You told me that you got lost in the fact that she pursued you with force…that I am not doing that for you. This comes right after I told you I loved you and was in love with you!”
“That was after I’d made the mistake,” he clarified, to my relief. I huffed, feeling very annoyed. “Was?” he asked about me being in love with him.
“Azmir, you’re in my bed. Give me that at least.” He sighed as though he was now relieved.
“Rayna, you’re not the only one with issues here. Since we’ve been apart, I’ve realized that I have security issues.” He exhaled, “I assume they come from my parents’ disappearance from my life so early. When you left the apartment that night, I wanted to run after you, but my pride wouldn’t let me do it. Day after day I waited for the miracle of your call, for you to come back to me of your own volition.” He stopped his stream of thoughts as though they were too painful to take on. “Let’s just say it’s been rough. And having Yazmine around only made it that more difficult. How can I acclimate her to my life when the biggest part of it had run away from me?”
His words hit me hard. Was that Azmir’s declaration of love for me? No! But it was so refreshing and I realized in that moment it was what I’d been needing from him. No, he didn’t tell me he loved me as I’d done him, but I was willing to take whatever he gave so long as it was real. I’d just have to take what he gave in that moment and treasure it. Azmir’s ruminative mood also spoke to something deep inside as I felt lubrication between my legs. My eyes darted over to him, alerting his attention to me. I didn’t say anything and didn’t need to.
“Damn! Brimm, you’re insatiable. It’s a good thing that your vagina will be preoccupied tomorrow. You’re trying to wear me out.”
I batted my eyes bashfully. I didn’t want to be too forward and decided to take the shy route instead by turning my back to him and laying my head on the pillow.
“Oh, no,” he said as he went to grab my chin and bestowed a kiss that made me shiver in no time. He scooted over to me and I relished the poke of his virility into my naked flesh. “No more running, not even in bed,” he whispered. His teeth grazed my ear as he murmured, “Moving forward, when either one of us need a moment of truth—for the other to be completely honest and share what’s on their minds we need to make that clear. Perhaps a code word.”
I tried exercising my brain over my heated body and heaving chest. “Like what?” I breathed out.