“You know Azmir, I don’t know why I’m expecting constructive and well-guided advice on relationships from someone who’s probably never even told his woman of what?...Six years—that he loves her. Gee, how many times have you allowed her to travel with you or have taken her on vacations? You barely spent five minutes with her unless you were making love—oh, ‘my bad’ you don’t make love, you ‘smash’, right?” Mark’s gestured air quotations were killing me. He was really offended as he continued. “You have no desire to try real love. Why? Would it not be the ‘cool’ thing to do? Mark seethed in all his melodramatic flare.
If I didn’t know him as well as I did I’d think he was a fruitcake. Shit, I knew gay men who were more masculine than he could be. This sounded like it was trying to get serious. I had to remember these guys couldn’t handle their liquor and Mark was the worst of all. I couldn’t let the conversation take the wrong route.
“Okay, first of all, you’ve had too much to drink because now you’re acting like a little bitch. Second of all, I have told Tara I loved her even when I didn’t. Thirdly, I do desire love. In fact, I have a shortie that could be that one right now. Lastly, what did I tell you about making fun of my leisure vernacular? Do I talk about how you still call ya’ moms every night before bed?” Although true, I tried to throw in the last line for comic relief. This dude can get extremely sensitive when he’s drinking. Eric fell out laughing. I had to join him after looking at Mark trying to process what I’d just finish saying.
“Do you mean to tell me someone has caught your attention for more than one night?” Mark’s mouth hung open as he sat erected in his chair. He’s such a fuckin’ herb.
“I ain’t even hit yet,” I spurred with sophistication in my tone to further get under his skin.
“How long have you known her?” Eric suddenly asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, a brother needs to know!” Mark chimed in.
“I met her at the top of the year but we’ve been kicking it since…like February,” I stated proudly. There was a pregnant pause. To do the math in terms of time, Mark’s gaze fell upon the table while Eric stared at something in the distance behind me.
“How long before you dump her, Azmir?” Eric asked resolutely.
“Well, she’s still marketing herself. So far she’s doing a hell of job,” I informed with confidence. But I still need to taste that ass. My dick got hard just thinking about it.
“No, what he means is how long will it be before you get tired of the Virgin Mary act?” Mark thought he’d clarify.
“Yeah Az, you know women throw their panties at you. You’re not the holding out type!” Eric heckled, and although he tried to mask it, I knew his assumptions were genuine.
I sat there and questioned why I was subjecting myself to this judgmental interrogation. My goons back in L.A. wouldn’t dare question my game. There are just some lines we don’t cross and this was one of them. They may ask if I hit it or if I was really feeling a chic but never this touchy-feely shit these dudes loved analyzing.
“If ass is what I need, I can make a call and guess what—ass is what I’ll get. You guys are killing my character and you’re supposed to be my boys…two of few who I call friends,” I tried to sound offended.
“Yeah, but Az—” Mark tried until I interrupted.
“…I’ve had my fair share of women. That’s not news to us but what is—is that I’ll be turning thirty-seven in a couple of months. I need the right woman to continue this journey with,” I used a bit of candor.
“What type of woman? A hood rat?” Eric asked and he and Mark cracked the hell up.
“Nah, a woman with class…” I tried to explain once they were done.
“Define class,” Eric demanded. “The classiest woman you’ve taken seriously was Tara,” he continued.
“Try the only woman,” Mark scoffed.
“Well…” I paused before continuing. I contemplated getting so personal with them about private matters. I’m not comfortable discussing them.
“Well…what’s her name? Tell us about her,” Mark insisted.
I figured what the hell. “Her name is Rayna Brimm. She’s a physical therapist at a sports medicine center in one of my suites on the rec’s property.”
“Describe her!” Mark drooled.
“Come on, man. You’re buggin’,” I warned.