I began to be grateful for my monthly encumbrance. My period felt like a protective barrier against myself, my strong desire and lack of will around Azmir. I couldn’t believe how modest my practices were with him. Typically I was very forward with my sexuality, only reserving emotional expressions—what little were conjured. But with Azmir there was something dangerously magnetic about his presence, something that screamed caution at every turn. The more I erred on the side of caution, the more I wanted to eat from the forbidden tree. There was such a compelling duality in those forces at war between us. When we were apart, I refueled on strength to resist him and held onto my guards, but when I was with him I lost all self-will and relished in relinquishing it all to him. What is it about this man that has me abandoning my will to preserve myself?
Azmir’s whole person oozed sex and no matter what Mother Nature malfunctioned in my body I couldn’t ignore the yearning I had for this man. With all of the introspective talk Azmir gave, I didn’t get the impression that he was operating with ulterior motives. I didn’t feel like he was asking this of me but instead confiding in me like a friend. The conversation got so deep that I had to divert it in order to lighten up the mood. After all, he was cut and dripped with all the ruggedness any decent woman could handle. I rose from my chair and went over to where he was sitting, saddled him and began whispering brazen messages in his ear. I could tell he liked it. He let out a string of chuckles, but I knew my words had a stimulating effect, although he held on to his composure. I guess we were too close to not fuck but he didn’t want to make any false moves. I started grinding on him.
“You have a naughty side to you, huhn?”
“Does this scare you, Mr. Jacobs?” I teased.
“What if I told you it did?” His voice was husky, desirous.
“Then I’d have to do this…” I said as I started grinding at a faster pace but rhythmically to the beat of the music playing in the club. His breathing hitched and his eyes fluttered in direct response. But when his eyes closed, they opened again, settled in sudden resolve.
“I’m not going to fuck you, Brimm.” His words were crisp and seared through me. I stilled in his lap, somehow entrapped by his heated gaze. Rejection constricted my throat. I was confused but couldn’t speak to ask for an explanation. I could only peer through his compelling eyes. “It’s not what you think,” he continued. Azmir was able to see right through me and picked up my insecurities. His eyes remained stapled to mine. “I won’t fuck you until you make it clear that you want me to.”
“What’s making it clear?” Did he want me to beg for it? I wasn’t into that. I didn’t possess the level of aggressiveness needed for that.
“You will not only ask for it, but you’ll prepare the table for me to fuck you…well. And I will,” he spoke hoarsely; I could tell he was aroused. Hell–I could feel his steely erection beneath me. I was knocked clear off balance by his abrasiveness. He grabbed my hips. “Besides, you’re menstruating. I’m Muslim, Brimm. And according to the Qur’an it’s haram to fuck when you’re bleeding.”
What—how does he know? I was completely embarrassed and thrown by him knowing that I was menstruating.
“I can smell you.” Abruptly, I rise from his lap preparing to withdraw. He tightened the grip on my hips, this time the tips of his fingers digging more into my ass. “Don’t worry, it’s not offensive. In fact, to the contrary, it’s intoxicating…the best sexual aroma I’ve ever experienced. Don’t move.” His tone was clipped, very CEO mien.
Strangely, I was turned on.
“So you expect me to believe you brought me out here without sex on your agenda?”
“Have I attempted sex?” More terse stemmed from his lips.
“Because my period is on you haven’t.”
“Your period wasn’t on when we arrived.”
What in the hell! How does he…
“So did it change your mind?”
“It was never an intention, Ms. Brimm.”
“Then what was?”
“Many are personal, but mostly because I wanted you with me these past few days. I am chasing you and didn’t want a break during this critical time of getting to know you. Also, what I need you to understand is what life is like being connected to me. You should know what the travel is like, what the leisure is like, what the time away does to you. To me. I wanted to see how you meshed with my family. I’ve decided that I want you.” His tone was nonchalant, as though his words were so easy to express.
He wants me and that’s no big deal?
He continued, “I need to know that you want me, too. All of me.”
“And sex?” I needed to know what the begging thing was all about.