“No, sir…not at all,” I responded confidently.
Big D, a powerful and resourceful man in his own rite, could make decisions based upon emotional responses to unfavorable circumstances. I, myself, had never been led by mortal fluctuating feelings but by calculated premeditated actions based off facts and keen intuition instead. Knowing the acute dissimilarity in our styles always helped me manage the relationship between my mentor and me. It is also one of the biggest reasons why I couldn’t fully disclose the detail of my breakup with his baby girl.
“Okay, son, if this is what you want to do, I guess there’s nothing I can do or say. I know you are a very tactical and deliberate man and that this was well thought out and difficult to do. And to come and tell me…well, I appreciate that,” he crowed extending his hand for me to shake.
We shook hands and went on to other pending conversations before parting ways. I left Ms. Filemina’s feeling lighter than I came in. Now I had to officially break the news to Tara, which wouldn’t be as difficult as breaking it to my mentor who so happens to be her father.
When I got into the passenger side of the truck with Petey at the wheel, I updated him on the business conversations I’d had with Big D. He asked about Big D’s reaction to my decision regarding ending things with Tara as well. Petey had known we were estranged for as long as we were but what he didn’t know until recently was that I was finally prepared to end it. It was important for him to be aware because as my right hand he held my off-hours appointment book, he must know how to prioritize and categorize my associates. Tara no longer had priority.
“You’ll be good, Divine. Good luck wit ‘dat shit, doe,” was his response. Crack wasn’t a man of many words, he was a man of action and I liked it that way.
That Friday night I was at Tara’s place. When I told her I was coming by the day before she probably thought I was coming to apologize for my distance. We were sitting in her living room facing each other on adjacent sofas when I said, “We’re through, T.”
“What…what did you just say?” she replied nastily.
It was clear that Tara was far more delusional than I’d given her. She wasn’t expecting this. I just remained seated calmly with head resting on my folded hands.
“You know this has been a long time coming. We haven’t been straight for a while now,” I tried pleading with her, calling on her common sense.
“What’s wrong, Azmir? You’re right, things haven’t been right for a while and that’s why I’ve been doing me. You’ve been working long hours and claiming not to have time for me! And now you’re trying to say it’s my fault? I’ve been trying to wait for you to get your shit together!”
“Yeah, you’ve been doing you alright. So I’m going to let you continue to do you, but without me.” I lifted my head to look her in the eyes. I needed to know she understood what this meant.
“What are you talking about? Months ago you were here accusing me of sleeping with a rapper and now what?” she screamed.
“I can ask you that same damn question. You’re all over the blogs with the NBA’s rookie of the year! You didn’t think that would get back to me?” She was incredulous in her denial.
“I only went to an event with him, Azmir. It’s not like I fucked him!”
“Word?! From what I hear you like fucking in bathrooms in the back of clubs!” My voice now unusually elevated, I stood defensively. I was mad as hell at her for trying to play me like some young kid with no relationship experience.
Tara walked over and slapped the shit out of me.
“Oh, so now that you’re the man in the corporate world you think you could come in here and disrespect me? Who in the hell do you think you are talking to like that…one of your hood-rat girlfriends? You wouldn’t be able to break bread with the elite if it wasn’t for my grooming!”