But as I perused, something else caught my eye. I stood to catch a closer glance. It was a picture collage in a fancy ass silver frame with photos of Zoey, Jordan…and me. They varied in company: some were of Zo and Jordan, some of JR alone, a few of JR and me, one or two of me with Sarah and/or Ruth and Michael, but what caught my attention and made my stomach flip were the three of us together, appearing as a handsome family.
I don’t know why, but I wondered if this was why Erika flipped out at Jordan’s party back in April the way that she did. That explosion led to a heated conversation between the two of us afterwards, ultimately leading to our breakup. She could not get out of pocket at my family’s event. She questioned why I was referring to Jordan, Zoey and her family as my family instead of my son, his mother and her family. The suggestion was foreign to me. I didn’t get it. Didn’t get the picture, until that moment, gazing at the framed collage; specifically, at the ones that held my family.
“That one’s my favorite,” I heard over my shoulder.
When I stood up straight and turned around, I saw Zoey across the room, tucking her feet underneath her as she sat on the couch. She took a sip of her Mauve as she stared at me placidly. She was killing me in that thigh-length ivory robe.
“I can see why. It’s beautiful,” I muttered as I ambled over to my seat.
I caught Zoey’s shrug. “It’s Jordan’s family.”
It’s our family. My family.
A few moments passed before I heard Zoey making that sound in the back of her throat. I put my drink down.
“What, Zo? I hear that fucking throat clicking sound,” It’s turning me on and I need to know before I fuck you… “What the hell is running through your head?”
She turned to me again. I heard a sigh that preceded, “Stenton, you never answered my question earlier. Are you okay?”
“I’m feeling like déjà vu here. This is the same position you were in when you asked earlier at the party, just a lot closer,” I teased with a salacious grin.
She sighed again and scooted closer. Zoey straightened in her seat before lowering her tone, being very sober in her inquiry. “How are you? I know things didn’t go well for you during the spring. I know you were hated on more than Mayor Nutter—and possibly by him, too. I heard about the breakup with Erika. I worried. And I always wanted to call—”
“But you never did.” I was being a bitch, but couldn’t help myself after seeing the collage of pictures. “You never called. You never reached out. You totally disconnected from me.”
Zoey’s head collapsed and I felt her breath hit me, clogging me was the miscellany of brandy and her body fragrance, all of which I wanted to taste, even in my sudden state of self-pity.
“Because it’s hard,” she whispered.
“Why does it have to be so fucking hard? Why couldn’t we continue to be friends? We have a child together and separately are devoted parents to him. Why the fuck does it have to be so hard?” I asked from the top of her head.
Zoey’s head popped up, she met my blank face and studied my eyes. “You know why.”
“Why?” My tone was soft, but I felt my eyes about to pop from my head.
“Because we don’t know how to just be friends, Stenton. You know this. We tried to be best—were best friends until I screwed that up by seducing you in Alpine.”
“You did not mess it up. And if anything we were equally responsible.” Feeling frustrated and the burning need to clarify, I shifted my body and pinned my eyes to hers. “Zoey, I have no regrets…about how and when we connected. None. I would never change a moment of knowing you. There are only a few things that I’d modify on my part, but certainly making love to you back in Alpine or any of the other times I’ve made love to you, and especially when we created my child I will never take that back. Those are some of my best decisions and most valued accomplishments.”
Especially when I…