Love Delayed

On our way back to Philly, Stenton answered my unspoken question about his mother’s condition. He said someone had slipped her something back in the late ‘90s when she was at the height of her dope addiction. She’d been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He said he didn’t know if the occurrences were related or mutually exclusive, but it had been a challenge caring for a mother who battled drug addiction and mental disorders concurrently. When he ended his sharing, I didn’t push for more. I had loads of questions including about his father who he’d shared a few months back was deceased. Other than saying his parents had a long history with drug abuse, he didn’t give much else. I rubbed his long muscular thigh as we coasted the turnpike in peace…and rock.

The next two days went by in a blur. Stenton and I made love, cuddled, talked, ate and made out to our hearts’ delight. It amazed me how, when isolated, you got to know small facts about a person: how often they used the bathroom, small grunts they made unconsciously, the way their lips parted when they slept, the slant their eyes form when they’re giving their undivided attention to another one of your pointless stories, the expressions made as they succumb to orgasms, and their facial expressions when they’re simply contented. This was closeness at its best. It was discovery of intimacy. It was love.

When it was time to leave, Stenton began to act strange. He was less talkative and developed abbreviated communications. It was hugely reminiscent of his taciturn behavior our last day together in Alpine. On our ride down to the parking garage I couldn’t help the need to address it.

“You know,” I sang lightheartedly. “If this is the way you behave when it’s time to say goodbye, maybe I won’t visit you anymore.”

I couldn’t hide my smile. Stenton made me giddy. We’d woken up, rolling all over the bed making love that I didn’t know could be so charged first thing in the morning. We even had a quickie after a long nap on his sofa. And from there, Stenton turned sourpuss.

“That’s not even funny, Zo,” he growled, regarding me square in the eye.

That tore at my patience.

“Then what is it when you walk around like a toddler whose Spiderman was stolen?” I grated before walking out of the elevator.

“This way, Zo!” his tone was short.

I specifically recalled making a left to the elevators, but it had been a long three days, so I didn’t argue. Well, not about where I had parked anyway.

“You can be so arbitrary, you know that?” I continued to follow him while giving him a piece of my mind. “Just like when you didn’t let Alton give me alcohol in Alpine, but you let Tynisha give it to me here. Now you go into piss-boy mode with your snappy attitude.”

“This is why,” he said a bit stiffly.

“What is why? Why you let me drink the other day?”

“No. This,” he tossed his tatted chin, “…is why I’ve been so fucking pensive.”

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized we’d stopped walking. “Now you’re speaking in code, Stenton. What is why?”

Stenton took me by the shoulders and physically turned my body to face a sleek black compact car. I was lost.

“Any minute now, Stenton!” I had to get on the road.

“Look at the fucking car, Zo.”

That’s when I noticed the bow.

“I won’t be here for your birthday tomorrow. I wanted to give you your gift before I leave.”

“What is this, Stenton?” I whispered.

“It’s a small 2008 BMW. Nothing too flashy, but definitely reliable.”

“Stenton…a 2008? It’s 2007!” Then I shrieked, “My parents!”

“...don’t have to know. And it’s nothing grand, just a baby Beamer. Very understated,” he spoke with a searing gaze. “Just don’t drive it home or to church. Take the clunker.”

I started looking around. “Where is old Bessie anyway?”

“At school. I had Paul drive her the night you arrived.”

“How? When—” I stopped when I recalled him taking my purse. “That’s how you were able to know the type of tampons I wear,” I murmured as I pinched the bridge of my nose, overcome with mortification again.

“You’re taking the car, Zo,” his tone was adamant.

“Okay! Okay!” I gasped. “I see once again I don’t have a say in your grand schemes.”

Instead of continuing to fight, Stenton exhaled. There was a long pause. We both needed a moment to cool our hooves.

Love Belvin's books