“Yes.” His fingers reached around for my chin and I turned my body completely to face him, my knees up to my neck. And when I did, my stomach flipped at the somberness of his eyes. “You don’t think I had my fantasies about our first time together? You ever think about how I wanted to kick off this part of our relationship? The way I crave to taste every inch of your body?” His eyes lowered to underneath my legs. “Especially there.”
My gaze dropped embarrassingly and I swallowed hard. I hadn’t thought of any of that. I wasn’t convinced Stenton even wanted me that way. Suddenly, I was ashamed.
“Just tell me you don’t consider me a brute now. Tell me that you don’t regret me indulging in your innocence and I can admit to you that I had the time of my life inside you for those few short minutes.”
I exhaled as I turned my body and melted into him, feeling more secure.
“You think too much, Zo. You didn’t have to plot to get me to hit,” he murmured.
I snorted, “Oh, really? Like you would’ve made the first move before my thirtieth birthday.”
I felt the rumble of his quiet laughter in his chest against my head. “I was coming. You’re just too damn fast.”
“Yeah! The girl who kept her virginity until twenty, and had to trick a man by playing hide-and-go-seek in his mansion to get rid of it. Picture that.” I rolled my eyes into the air.
Stent laughed and his arms held me tighter. We sat for a while. There was so much in the air between us, but I wasn’t savvy enough to confront it. The sound of Stent’s stomach growling pulled me from my sleepy state.
“You’re hungry.”
“Yeah,” he breathed lazily. “I didn’t have my usual protein drink after my run.”
I started to get up. “Let me warm up dinner.” I don’t think I ever sounded so domesticated.
Stent grabbed my wrist. “Relax for a minute. Soak your muscles. I’m gonna shower and change the bedding before we eat.”
And that’s what we did. We didn’t talk much for the remainder of the night. We weren’t troubled, just different. I sure as heck felt different. I felt full and…accomplished. I’d finally let go of my virginity to a man I loved. No matter what happened going forward—good or bad—I’d never regret giving it to Stenton.
When we finally crawled into bed that night on clean bedding, I adjusted my body into Stent’s hard and warm frame and shivered when I felt his lips kiss my shoulder goodnight.
The next day, I woke up to an empty bed. I knew immediately Stent was off to work out. I slowly made my way down to the kitchen. My body ached in the same manner it did after an exercise when I hadn’t for so long.
After deciding on waffles, eggs and bacon, I slipped my earplugs in and got to work. I zoned out, frying bacon, whipping eggs and battering the waffle-maker. I was so engrossed in my head that I nearly dropped the tongs when Stenton grabbed me from behind. I snatched my earplugs out and turned to him, steam shooting from my ears.
“Are you crazy?”
He couldn’t stop laughing. He held on to his belly as he hurled over in laughter. I wanted an explanation, but he could hardly breathe. I gave him time to recover as I returned to cooking. He was still sweaty from working out. Stenton looked younger and peaceful when he laughed. Although we did a lot of that, it never got dull seeing him mirthful. I felt my anger about his scaring me ebb the longer he exposed his teeth.
“What are you so engrossed in that you could be scared like that?” He pulled at my earplugs and listened.
It was Marvin Sapp’s “In the Garden”, one of my favorite morning worship songs. He looked at me with a sober expression.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Morning worship,” I offered while turning over the bacon.
Stent returned a firm nod, being respectful of my unpopular practices, I guessed.
“I guess you’re eating in your sweats because breakfast is served in less than five. This food won’t stay warm throughout a shower.”
He raised his long arms then slapped them against the outside of his thighs. “If you accept me as is, I am.”
At the mammoth island, we ate and were successful at avoiding the neon pink elephant in the room. Not only did I wake up sore, I also fought with guilt. What I did was a bit sneaky. I didn’t regret making love to Stent at all, just the way that I’d gone about it.