“Oh,” I squeaked, stumped by her thoughtfulness. “Funny that you mention her extra mile. I’ve been having second thoughts about childcare.”
Stenton’s eyes rose. I was sure I had his full attention.
“About a week after I had Jordan...while I was under an insomniac spell, I reapplied for school.”
“Where?” he asked almost desperately.
“Princeton, of course.”
I could see Stenton visibly relax. That was weird. He motioned for me to continue.
“I’d put it to the back of my mind after doing it. Then a few weeks ago, my old advisor emailed me, excited about my application. She assured me that Wharton would still be interested if I could jump right back into my undergrad career. I know she’s trying to discourage a long break. I’ve struggled with my decision, but...” I bit my bottom lip as I observed Stenton’s eager posture. “I think it’ll be best for me to go back...this fall.”
His eyelids fluttered and he sighed deeply. “Is that what you were stalling to share? Why were you so afraid to tell me you’re ready to go back to school? I couldn’t be happier for you. I support your decisions, you know that.”
I still held on to my breath. “I mean, I know in the agreement I signed it said a nanny would be paid for in full as well as tuition, but...”
“Zo, that’s for wherever you decide to go.”
“But Princeton is expensive—”
“It’s also where you were when your plans were disrupted. It’s the least I can do.”
I rolled my eyes at nothing in particular, feeling frustrated by the glaring topic once again. This “situation” haunted my private thoughts, relentlessly.
“Stenton, it took the two of us to make a baby. I don’t want you to take the blame for the consequence of something I consented to, wholly.” I made sure to align my eyes with his.
His expression morphed into a scowl, making it abundantly clear that he was annoyed.
“You had to live through disappointing your parents and community, put your career on hold, carry a baby for almost ten months, experience your body expanding, being isolated, and then deliver my legacy. Me? I still work, still continue with pretty much all the activities I’ve had since before Jordan, and add to all of that, be congratulated by the President of the United States for having a child. Doesn’t sound like a fair trade off to me.” He lowered his chin. “Go back to school, Zo. Resume your career path. If all I have to do is write a damn check to grant you that, it’s a drop in the bucket compared to what you’ve been through over the past year.”
I was speechless. When he put it that way I forgot how disconnected it felt like we’d been. It made me reconsider the cave I’d been alone in while everyone else went about life. Stenton was offering me an opportunity to make a life for my son and me. He was giving me the tools to continue the journey I thought I’d derailed.
I bit back the cry that begged to be released. I’d never been much of a crier, but lately my hormones had been off the charts.
I nodded softly. “Thanks, Stenton.”
His thick brows peaked as Stenton shook his head categorically. “No. Thank you.”
Slowly, an assured smile worked its way onto my face. “Now, let’s eat. You need to restore that energy you exerted earlier.”
He laughed. God, I’ve missed that. It warmed something deep within...this time carnal.
“In that case, you need to clean your plate for what I have in store until I board my flight on Thursday.” He sounded sober with that one.
“You’re staying until then?”
His brows met. “Yeah, Zo, damn! What’s so hard to believe about that?”
I smiled broadly. A goofy one. A goofy smile I couldn’t contain. And it felt great.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Zo,” he cried out lazily as I rested on my haunches with my head in his pelvis.
Stenton’s head rolled back and forth, spurring my inspiration to keep pushing him into my mouth and pull him out with a suctioned jaw.