I smiled, he had no way of knowing just how well I remembered every word of what he’d told me that day. “Of course I do.”
“Maggie hated that story. It was what I used to tell myself every time she miscarried. For all those years that we tried to have a child, I would rationalize the loss by saying, ‘that soul wasn’t meant for us. Ours is coming.’ I could always tell it made her angry. She felt that me saying that made it seem like children born to abusive, cruel parents were meant to be placed in such situations, and she couldn’t stand it. Of course, that’s not how I meant it. It’s just something that made me feel like I hadn’t lost something; that the person meant for me was still on its way to us. And of course he was—Jeffrey.”
By this point we were already nearing the main doorways of the castle, and it surprised me to find the hallways and other rooms entirely empty. Either there would be many more guests at our wedding than I anticipated, or they’d been instructed to clear out until after the wedding. I hoped it was the latter. Still, I could tell we neared our destination, for Bebop slowed his pace markedly, clearly not finished with his story.
“As I said, Maggie hated when I would say that, taking my words too literally when they were only meant to soothe my heart each time after a new loss. She never said anything about it though until after you had entered our life.”
I couldn’t imagine what I had to do with it.
“We already had Jeffrey at that point, but to our surprise Maggie became pregnant again, only to miscarry the child a few weeks later. As per usual, I said something about the child not being meant for us and for the first time in a decade, she lost it on me. She said that I was a fool to think such a thing when we had the likes of you to show us what an untrue notion that was.
“She said that anyone with half a brain could see that your parents didn’t come close to deserving you and that if you were meant to be anyone’s child, it was ours.” He paused and brought my hand up to his lips, kissing it gently. “I understood then how stupid it was, but it had brought me comfort when I needed it so I never spoke it again until I told it to you when you were pregnant because really, Maggie, was right.”
I’d never looked at it as Maggie had either, but it was certainly a way of thinking that could be seen from several viewpoints. As a soon-to-be mother I’d taken it as Mitsy had, words to calm my doubt that I could be the mother I wanted to be for my child. For someone more empathetic to the woes of others, as Maggie had been, or as a child who’d grown up under terrible circumstances, I could see how the thought could be seen as placing uncalled for guilt on a blameless child. No child is meant to grow up in anything less than a loving and caring home.
Still, I didn’t understand what him telling me all of this had to do with my getting married in a matter of moments. “Okay, forgive me, Charles. What are you trying to say?”
“Only this, Grace.” He stopped walking.
I looked up to see where we were. We were just at the end of the path leading to the secluded tree with the low sitting branch—Eoghanan’s special place of thinking where he’d taken me the night Cooper and Jeffrey had disappeared. It would be good to make a new, happier, less-stressed memory in that place.
“That is always how Maggie saw you…as hers, no matter who you were born to. While I know that your real parents aren’t here to see you marry the man you’re meant to, I am here and,” he choked up slightly and I squeezed his hands in comfort, “she is watching all of this from heaven and beaming. I couldn’t love you or be any more proud of you than I am right now.”
I was full out crying now, and Bebop quickly moved to dab the tears from my face, shaking his head in apology. “Forgive me, I’m a stupid man. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“No, you didn’t.” I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you. My whole life I wanted to be your child rather than the child of my parents; to know that you wanted me as much as I did you…nothing could be more pleasing to hear.” Inhaling to gain my composure, I turned so that I faced the front of the tree-lined path that served as my aisle. “I love you, Charles. Now, let’s get me married, shall we?”
*
I wondered just how many brides could recall very much about the actual ceremony part of their wedding, for as it drew to a close and Eoghanan leaned in to kiss me, I realized that I’d been rather lost in a haze of happiness, my emotions so swelled that I couldn’t remember anything.
I felt his lips touch mine and guilt swarmed me, until he leaned in and whispered in my ear.
“Ye have made me the happiest man in the world, lass. I am now yers forever, and ye are mine.”
It didn’t matter that I couldn’t remember the ceremony, or just exactly what words had been said. The last words he’d whispered to me were what it was about anyway. They were all that truly mattered.
I just wished I could shake the feeling that everything was going too well.