“Four years does that to some people.”
Ouch. Clearly this was a mistake. He doesn’t want to talk to me. I can finally close this chapter in my book. I was keeping it open in the hope that one day we’d cross paths again and could at least be friends, but I guess time doesn’t heal all wounds.
I look over at his friend, Dylan, now clearly his girlfriend, only to find her staring at me. I can’t tell if she’s amused or threatened by me. Either way, she wins.
“It was good seeing you, Ryan.” I nod slightly and sidestep, brushing him lightly as I walk by. I weave in and out of the tables, not bothering to call out to Alex and Cole. I just need to get away. I pull my coat off the rack and slide my arms into it as I walk out the door. I don’t care about the weather. I just need to get out of here before I break down in front of everyone.
I don’t need a reminder of what I did to him. It’s fresh in my mind and my songs. The brief time we spent together, it’s so vivid I could draw it out picture by picture. I have no doubt he’s my soul mate. I’m just not his.
The pounding footsteps behind me make me walk faster. I’ve never felt unsafe in the city before and right now I feel very close to running except I’m at the steps to my apartment. With my foot on the first step, I tell myself not to look behind me.
“Hadley, wait,” he says as he grabs my arm, stopping me dead in my tracks. I step back down and face him. He’s wearing a sweatshirt. No hat or gloves to keep him warm. “I froze back there. I didn’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“It’s good to see you too, by the way. A little shocking, but still good.”
“How long have you been in New York?”
“Just over four years. We moved after graduation.”
“We?”
“Dylan and I. Do you remember her?” He looks over his shoulder like she should be right behind him. She’s probably lurking in the bushes, waiting to pounce on me for talking to her man.
“Yeah, I remember her.”
“We have a place not too far from here. Well, five or six blocks away, but still close.”
Great, they live together. The question is at the forefront of my mind. I’m dying to know so I ask. “How long have you been together?”
He laughs lightly and shakes his head. “We aren’t together. We just live together. It’s cheaper to have a roommate.”
My body sighs with relief although I’m stupid to think he’s single. He’s far too good looking to be single. He steps forward, close enough that I can smell his cologne. His hands encase my cheeks so fast I don’t know what’s happening. Before I can react, his lips are on mine and I’m giving him all the access he wants. I’m no longer in control of my body. It’s taken over and submitted to him.
He kisses me fast and urgent at first, before slowing down and taking his time. He places small kisses on my lips, resting his forehead against mine.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. I’m not. I’m so not sorry that he just kissed me and hate that he is. “I just had to know.”
“Know what?”
“If you’re the one.”
CHAPTER 43
Ryan
If someone told me this morning that I was going to run into Hadley Carter today I would’ve laughed in their face. I haven’t thought about her in years. No, that’s a lie. Each time I began dating someone and things started getting serious, I would think of Hadley. I would compare them and end up ruining my relationship. I’ve had one serious girlfriend since Hadley and I’m not counting Dylan, because that was more of an exploration relationship.
I had met this girl in business class and she reminded me of Hadley. I thought it could work and it did for about a year. She started dropping hints about getting engaged and how a spring wedding in New York would be so beautiful. I didn’t panic or freak out. I simply told her that she wasn’t the one I saw when I closed my eyes at night. Since then I dated occasionally, nothing serious because there’s no point in going head first into something if she isn’t the one you see in your dreams.
During the winter our Friday nights are spent at O’Malley’s. It’s been tradition for about a year or maybe longer. It started when Dylan brought one of the O’Malley boys home. I liked John well enough and we’ve become friends.
I don’t know what told me to turn around, but something did. Part of me is not sorry that I saw her, while the other part wishes I never turned around at all. I could’ve gone the rest of my life never seeing her again because living the nightmare from when she left me was enough the first time. But there she stands, staring at me. In shock, I’m sure. Just as I never expected to see her, I have no doubt she never expected to find me here, in her city.