“I prefer singing. I’m not very good at writing down how I’m feeling, so singing is much easier for me.”
I wouldn’t have thought that about her. She seems pretty expressive. I could probably write a song about how I’m feeling. I’d have to title it ‘Confused, Lost and Freaking the Hell Out’ because I have this gorgeous girl sitting next to me and talking to me and not because she has to, but because she wants to.
“Do you like girls with long or short hair?”
I look at her and know my answer is based on what I’m looking at. “Definitely long, but without all that crap that girls put in it, ya know? I think I like the loose and natural look.”
Hadley runs her hand through her hair and for the first time ever, I want to reach out and touch someone’s hair. I can feel my hand twitching and it takes all I have in me to stop it in fear of rejection. I need a distraction so I decide to ask her about her career.
“If you weren’t a famous singer, what would you be?”
Hadley thinks about this for a long time before answering and I use this time to study her. How she scrunches her nose while she contemplates her answer, how her fingers delicately play with the chain she has around her neck and how I really like the look of her perfectly formed lips. I can’t stop looking at them as she starts to answer.
“Oh wow. I’m not sure. I’ve been performing for so long I don’t think I had the aspirations others did, but maybe a teacher like my mom.”
“You’d be a good teacher.”
“Why do you say that?” she’s giggling when she says this. I like that I’ve made her laugh.
“Because you’ve already taught me a few things like how to find out what girls like and how to talk a bit more.”
Hadley’s smile turns serious. She leans forward, her eyes traveling from mine to my mouth and back. This is about to be my first kiss and all I can think is that I should be the one making the first move. I lean forward, hoping to meet her half way. A throat clears behind us, she turns and I save myself from my face hitting her shoulder.
The server is standing there with a plate of food and drinks. It’s amazing how they just know the right time to interrupt something that maybe shouldn’t happen even though I wanted it.
The party in Hadley’s suite has quieted down, but neither of us wants to see what they were all up to. Each time the door opens I fear it's Dylan coming to take me away. I know I shouldn’t feel like that, but I’m having fun. Okay, not fun, but I like that I’m able to sit out here and learn. Hadley isn’t judging me like the other girls in school do. She isn’t giving me sideways glances or snubbing her nose at me. Last year I tried to talk to this girl, Jenna, but she wouldn’t give me the time of day. I heard her tell some of our classmates that she didn’t date beneath her. I knew what it meant and it hurt. Dylan tells me I’m good-looking, but I guess sometimes that’s not enough.
Until now.
I yawn and stretch my arms up over my head. Hadley takes this opportunity to poke me in the stomach. I grab her hand quickly and her fingers lace with mine like it’s the most natural thing to do. I look down at our conjoined hands and realize that I don’t want to let go.
“Are you tired?”
“I am,” she replies. “But I don’t want this night to end. I’m not sure what the morning will bring.”
I pick up her phone and look at the time. It’s about three in the morning. The sun is going to be coming up soon. I’m curious as to why Dylan never came out here to get me. Did she even know I was gone?
“I can leave you if you want to go to sleep.” I offer this solution, praying she’ll say no.
“No, but I have an idea.” If her idea is letting go of my hand, I’m not a fan. She stands quickly and walks to the back of the chaise lounge and pulls the top portion down until it’s reclined. She’s back before I can comprehend what is going on. She’s kneeling in front of me, before she sits down. She pulls her dress down as far as it will go. I wonder if she’s cold and wish I could offer her a jacket, but I just have on my dress shirt.
I watch as she lays down, her eyes on me the whole time. She’s on her side, on the edge, leaving space for me. I unbutton my shirt and pull it off, thankful that I’m wearing a t-shirt underneath. I lay it across her legs before turning on my side to lie next to her. She immediately pulls my hand into hers and sets them between us.
“The sun is almost up.”
“That means the night is almost over and I’m definitely not ready.”
“Me neither,” I say. “Can I try something?”
“Sure.”