Lightning and Lace

chapter 14

Bonnie slowed her mare as she neared the entrance to the Double H, Morgan and Casey’s ranch. She owed her sister-in-law a wagon load of apologies for the years of leaning on her and the rest of the family far too much. Guilt had kept Bonnie awake the preceding night, and it was time she did something about it. She’d apologized to Mama and Jenny, and she should have done the same with Casey that day, too.

“Mama, I like riding to Aunt Casey’s ranch,” Lydia Anne said. “Can we do this everywhere we go?”

Bonnie laughed. “Sometimes we must conduct ourselves like proper ladies and use a buggy or carriage, but we’ll ride together as much as we can. As soon as you can ride by yourself, we’ll come visiting Aunt Casey, and you can show her how well you can handle a horse.”

“Goody.” She tilted her head and looked into her mother’s face. “I’m glad you’re happy now.”

Bonnie kissed her forehead. “Me too.”

Casey met them on the front porch with a bushel basket in hand. A second basket sat on a wagon bed. A gust of wind toyed with her auburn hair, and she brushed it back. “Good morning. Are you two enjoying this cool weather?”

“No ma’am,” Lydia Anne said. “We’re enjoying this ride together.”

Casey shielded her eyes from the sun. “I’ve been meaning to stop by. How are you?”

“That is why I’m here.” Bonnie swung down from Wildflower. “Can we talk a bit?” She peered at the wagon. “Looks like you’re going apple pickin’. Need some help?”

“Sure. Shouldn’t take long with both of us. And you can take plenty home with you. I have more apples than I know what to do with.”

After Bonnie left her mare with a ranch hand, the three took the wagon and headed for the orchard. Lydia Anne rode in the back between the baskets.

“I’m sorry about Zack,” Casey said. “I know this has to be heart wrenching for you.”

Bonnie slowly nodded. “What makes it so difficult is that Zack’s behavior is my fault.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“Casey, you and I both know that if I’d been a better mother—not so selfish in my own grieving—Zack could have talked to me during this horrible grieving time. At least it’s not too late for Michael Paul and Lydia Anne. And I pray Brother Travis is able to help Zack.”

“Aren’t you being too hard on yourself?”

“Not at all. I’m simply facing the truth.” Bonnie took a deep breath and glanced back at Lydia Anne. “I might as well simply say the rest of this so we can enjoy the morning.”

“Is something else wrong?”

“No. I hope our lives will now start to mend. I realized some ugly things about myself. Cas, do you remember way back when we first became friends? Mercy, I was eighteen and you were twenty-one. You were running from an outlaw gang and the law. To make matters worse, Morgan was pestering you to marry him. And what did I do? Nothing but spend my time dreaming about Ben and backing away from anything that might upset me. Anyway, I’ve always been the weak one, and it has to stop.”

“That’s not entirely true. You were and are my dearest friend. Have you forgotten that I deceived you about my past? Bonnie, I lied to you about being a part of an outlaw gang and even about my name.”

“Doesn’t matter. You asked me to forgive you years ago. I’m asking you to forgive me now.” Bonnie refused to become emotional and alarm Lydia Anne.

“Of course. I love you, Bonnie. You’ve always been the sister I never had.”

“We’d better start talking about something else, or I’m going to cry enough tears to float this wagon.”

Casey laughed. “What do you think of Brother Travis?”

“Oh my. He’s a good preacher and a kind man, but he’s certainly not a dandy.”

“I heard Hank offered a free haircut and shave—twice, but he refused.”

Bonnie giggled. It had been a long time since she’d felt such freedom. “I’m ashamed of myself, but I have to agree with you. Except he has to be a special man to take Zack into his home in hopes I won’t have to place him in a military school. I’ve already decided the good Lord has a special crown for him.”

“You’re right. The reverend and Jocelyn think he came straight from heaven.”

“I have to agree,” Bonnie said. “The first time I saw Brother Travis, I mistook him for a beggar. I was not pleasant.”

She and Casey exchanged glances.

“I apologized to him, too.”

“Oh, Bonnie, I’m so sorry.”

“No need. I’m going to be a better woman through this. And Ben will look down from heaven and know his wife and children are doing fine.”

“We have all been praying for you.”

“Thanks. Right now I miss Zack. I want to see him, but I’m trusting Brother Travis’s judgment as to when’s the best time.”

“Have you thought about inviting them to dinner?”

Bonnie’s heart spun. “What a wonderful idea. I’ll send word in the morning with Michael Paul. I hope it’s not too soon.”

Casey pulled the wagon to a halt by a heavily laden apple tree. “If it is, maybe Brother Travis can give you a better time. At least you’d have something to look forward to.”

“Wonderful. I’m ready to pick some apples.” Bonnie turned to Lydia Anne with another idea. “We could make an apple pie this evening and send it to Zack and Brother Travis tomorrow.”

*****

Travis lifted a fallen branch from beside his front porch. A storm had blown through the night before, and debris lay scattered about the ground. Zack helped all morning, but Travis gave him schoolwork for the afternoon. Travis had some thinking to do, and hard physical work was the answer—that and a lot of prayer.

If he’d known about the church’s association with Heaven’s Gate, he wouldn’t have taken this job. But God knew and had given him clear direction to accept the position. Why? The very horror that had driven him from Tennessee haunted him in Kahlerville. Could he conduct himself as a man of God with the painful memories of the past?

God, why? I tried and failed. I ruined Felicia’s life and failed my church. Why am I here?

Maybe he’d been given a second chance to share the gospel with those whom others turned away. He thought of all the fine people of Kahlerville who gave of their time and money. They were different. They did care. He didn’t have to walk this path alone.

You’ve never been alone.

Travis recognized the voice. So is this part of the healing, Lord? Or part of the lesson? He dragged the limb behind his house to the pile of other limbs and branches. He picked up the ax. With every crack of the split wood, his muscles burned.

“Sir, I could cut that wood,” Zack said.

Travis lifted his gaze. “Are you thinking a little work might make me a little less angry about Miss Scott’s unmentionables flying in the schoolyard tree?”

“Mama always sent me to the wood pile when I was angry.”

“Your mama is a smart woman. That’s why I’m here, but not because I’m angry with you.” Travis hoisted the ax back to his shoulder. “I’ve already forgotten about yesterday.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“But you can continue the good manners. I rather enjoy them.” He tossed Zack a smile.

“Hello. Brother Travis?” The feminine voice sounded familiar.

“That’s Mama,” Zack whispered. “Should I go back inside?”

“Not unless you want to.”

“Brother Travis?”

“I’m back here, Mrs. Kahler.” Travis glanced up at Zack, who slipped back inside the house. Did he dislike her so much that he sought refuge?

Bonnie Kahler made her way around the side of the house. She held up her skirt from the mud with one hand and clutched a towel-covered dish with the other. The woman looked innocent and pure, reminding him of a child.

Travis hurried to her side. “Excuse me, ma’am. I should have thought about the mess back here.”

“Oh, I’ve seen plenty of mud in my lifetime.” She smiled and offered him the dish. “Lydia Anne and I picked apples and thought you and Zack might enjoy an apple pie.”

“I know I will.” He lifted the towel and inhaled the apple and cinnamon scent. “Hmm. This is my favorite pie.”

She peered around him. “Zack’s too. Is he here?”

“He’s inside.” How did he tell her that her son preferred the solitude of the house to visiting with his mother?

Sadness fell across her face. “He’s not ready to see me, is he?”

Travis shook his head. “But he’s improving.” He remembered the prank on Miss Scott and nearly laughed. However, Mrs. Kahler might not find it amusing.

She blinked. “Good. I’ll wait until he wants to see me. I wanted to invite both of you to dinner, but it must be too soon.”

“I’ll ask him. Maybe next week?” Suddenly he felt very self-conscious. “I have something for you. Do you have a moment while I fetch it?”

“Oh, yes. Would you like for me to split a little wood?”

Her teasing eased his nervousness. “I can’t pay you.”

“Not even a nickel for the huge pile?”

He shrugged. “I’m a poor preacher.” They laughed, and he disappeared into the house with the pie. He set it on the kitchen table and noted Zack was in his room with the door closed. Travis grabbed the journal wrapped in brown paper and hurried back outside.

Her blue eyes lifted to his face, and he thought his heart had melted into butter.

“What is it?” she said.

He handed her the package. “Well, I purchased one of these for you and one for Zack. I thought it might be helpful.”

Curiosity etched across her face. She took the package and carefully opened it. “A journal,” she whispered. “I used to keep one, but I stopped when Lydia Anne was born.”

“I encouraged Zack to write down all the things he remembered about his father. I thought it might help him work through his grief.”

“Mama suggested the same thing right after Ben left us, but I couldn’t bring myself to pen a single word.” She glanced up with watery eyes. “Since a couple of years have passed, I believe I can. Thank you. This gift came at just the right time.”

Her smile warmed his heart. The cost of the journals had dug into his meager funds, but her kind words were worth any price. And if it helped her, then he’d be blessed with her healing.

Now, if Zack could only try harder. In moments when Travis wondered if he could ever help the boy, he realized Zack didn’t want help—not yet anyway. He’d grown accustomed to his miserable life. The boy needed to find a reason to change, a task that only God could do.

“Guess I’ll be going,” she said.

The sound of her voice caused a sweet shiver to race up his arms. He remembered when she had touched his arm at the Morning Star. This had to stop. “I’ll walk you to your buggy.”

The back door opened and Zack stepped onto the porch. His hands dug deep into his overall pockets. “Thanks for bringing the pie, Mama. It smells real good.”

Thank You, Lord.

*****

Travis had waited long enough to announce the forming of a choir. He’d been excited about the idea, especially with Jenny Andrews playing piano. But now as he listened to the off-key men and women, he wondered what God meant by “making a joyful noise.” He thought he’d endured it all until Miss Scott, Zack’s former teacher, said she’d like to sing a hymn on Sunday morning.

“Most certainly,” he said. “What would you like to sing?”

“‘Amazing Grace.’”

“Wonderful. Mrs. Andrews, would you mind playing that beautiful hymn for us? We’d all like to be blessed with Miss Scott’s song.”

One note, and Travis thought she might be a bit flustered singing in front of him and the choir. The second note made him wonder if she was getting even for what Zack had done to her clothes. On the third note, he stopped her.

“Let’s start again, Miss Scott. Just relax.”

“I am, Brother Whitworth. I believe this is my best.”

I hope not. He might lose his church if she sang this Sunday. By the time she finished the first verse, his head pounded, and the good folks in the choir were either hiding their laughter or their faces were lined with agony.

When she completed all the verses, he didn’t know whether to pray for mercy or thank God the song was over. He’d heard coyotes with better voices.

“So I’ll sing this Sunday?” Miss Scott wrung her hands.

“Well . . .”

Jenny Andrews rose from the piano. “Oh, please, not this Sunday. I need time to practice. I would feel terrible if your song sounded badly because of me.”

“When do you think you’ll be ready?” Miss Scott lifted her chin.

“A few weeks, at least.”

In a huff, Miss Scott resumed her position in the choir. One man wiped his face with a handkerchief. Another coughed. Mrs. Rainer mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

Suddenly Miss Scott stood. Travis hadn’t noticed how plain the poor woman was. Sympathy for her touched him. “Brother Whitworth, I thank you for this opportunity to share my gift of voice. I had doubts about your ability to lead this church with taking in Zack Kahler and all, but your willingness to let me sing proves your true heart. My daddy always said my singing lifted his spirits.” She abruptly sat down.

“Thank you, Miss Scott. We’ll look forward to your solo once Mrs. Andrews learns her part.”

“Why not sing with her?” Mrs. Rainer said. “I think our church would be blessed with two fine voices.”

If Jocelyn Rainer hadn’t been the reverend’s wife, he’d have considered letting Zack swipe her laundry.

“I’m not sure if that would be fair. Michael Paul Kahler and I plan to sing a duet,” he said.

“But adults should be first,” Miss Scott said. “This way, Michael Paul can hear how to reach the difficult notes. I could work with him after school if you’d like.”

Travis nearly choked. “Thank you for your kind offer, but I was looking forward to rehearsing with the boy since his brother is in my charge. Surely you understand.”

He was trapped, and the whole choir knew it. All manner of common sense had raced out with the church mice. Why ever had he wanted to form a choir? Then his gaze touched on the three young women from Heaven’s Gate. They neither laughed nor looked uncomfortable. They understood humiliation. They’d lived it. Sylvia Hillman draped her arm around Rosie’s shoulders. From what he’d heard about the problems in Mrs. Hillman’s marriage, she understood humiliation too. God could heal all of their hurts if they simply let him wrap His love around their aching hearts.

“I look forward to your song, Miss Scott,” he said. “If your singing blessed your father, then I’m sure it will bless all of us who are privy to the song. I play piano a little, so if you’d like to rehearse here in the church, I’d be glad to help you.”

“We could tonight after regular rehearsal.”

He smiled. “That would be fine.”

*****

Travis thought he might not live through Miss Scott’s repeated variations of “Amazing Grace.” As much as he hated to admit it, her voice sounded like chalk scraping across a blackboard. Other choir members milled about in the back of the church.

“Let’s simply listen to the melody before you begin,” he said. “I know you want every note to be perfect.”

“And it’s not?” Miss Scott said.

“We all aim for perfection when it comes to the Lord.”

Miss Scott stood straight, then closed the hymnal. “I don’t need to see the words and notes. I have them memorized.”

Travis inwardly cringed. “A little review is always good.”

“If you insist.” She stepped beside him at the piano bench and smiled—far too sweetly. He’d seen that look before, and it made him want to run like a scared rabbit.

“I appreciate this,” she said.

“You’re welcome.”

He started to play the melody, but she stopped him.

“Would you like to come one night for dinner?” she said.

Please, I’m not husband material. “How thoughtful of you, but my evenings are spent with Zack.”

“He couldn’t stay by himself one evening?” She brushed against his shoulders while he remained seated on the piano bench.

“Miss Scott, it would not look appropriate if I came to your home for dinner. Neither of us would want gossip.”

“I could invite another couple to join us.”

“I’m sorry, but I must decline.”

“Zack has told you horrible things about me.” She sounded like a hurt little girl.

“No, ma’am. I’m simply not interested in social engagements.”

“I shall practice my song on my own. For a man who is not interested in social engagements, you certainly find the time to visit with Bonnie Kahler.” Miss Scott whirled around and headed toward the back of the church.

A twinge of guilt rushed over him at the mention of Mrs. Kahler’s name. Had anyone else noticed the time he spent with her? Surely not. He was only doing the Lord’s work in helping her and Zack. He stared after Miss Scott. He didn’t understand women and doubted if he ever would.